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## Situation with Live-In Nanny Job in San Diego

I posted this two days ago, seeking advice on my live-in nanny job in San Diego. I recently moved here to take care of a toddler on a full-time basis. My daily routine involves waking up at 6:30 AM, Monday through Friday, and finishing work at 3:30 PM. I have my own room, access to the guest bathroom, food, Wi-Fi, washer and dryer facilities, and more provided by my brother and sister-in-law, who are the child’s parents.

In terms of childcare responsibilities, I am tasked with duties such as taking out the diaper pail, washing the toddler’s clothes, bedding, and changing table sheet. Additionally, I need to clean her high chair cover weekly. Apart from childcare duties, I am also expected to clear the dishwasher every other day, wipe all metal appliances in the house once a week, and vacuum and mop the floors regularly.

I am being paid $150 a week for these services, and I am unsure if this compensation is fair. Given that the child is my niece, I feel conflicted about addressing this issue with my family. Despite attempting to discuss my pay with them, I received a disrespectful response implying that I am merely a dependent watching over my niece for a place to stay and save money for a car.

Following these unpleasant interactions and being informed that I need to leave by Friday as I am allegedly costing them money, I am left wondering about my rights in this situation. I have belongings that need to be shipped back home and cannot leave by the imposed deadline. Can they legally force me to vacate the premises in such a manner?

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32 Comments

  • Flimsy-Leather-3929

    If OP was an Au Pair getting room and board, a phone and phone plan, car to drive, and health insurance she will still need to be paid a minimum of $195 a week.

  • firearm_thr0waway

    You mentioned they referred to you as a dependent. Are they claiming you as a dependent on their taxes?

  • PushThroughThePain

    They need to give you 30-day written notice to terminate your tenancy. You are considered a month-to-month tenant.

    >I am paid 150$ a week and I’m curious on any one else’s input whether or not this is a fair deal or not

    That’s a little over $3 an hour. They are massively taking advantage of you.

  • blueyork

    Your options are not to stay here or go back to Texas. You have other options. Maybe you can find another nanny situation in San Diego. One that pays better. Contact a nanny agency in the area.

  • Oldhagladyparts

    How old are you?

  • JesusOnaBlueBike

    Your brother and SIL are exploitive assholes. Wait until they hire a nanny thru an agency and find out they have an employee who will require sick days, paid vacations, and a generous tip at Xmas.

  • shamrock327

    This is an obscenely disgusting situation. You’re providing child care and housekeeping for far less than minimum wage.

    Regardless of your “employment,” you are legally a tenant. Changing the locks or tossing your belongings on the yard would be extremely unwise of them.

    This really is a sad situation. They could have paid you minimum wage and it still would have been a win-win: aunt and niece bonding, you getting to explore a beautiful but pricey area of the country, etc.

  • GroundbreakingMap605

    >legally are they aloud to just kick me out like that

    If you don’t have a rental agreement or other contract with them that dictates the terms of your residency, then you would likely be considered a month-to-month lodger. California law requires 30 days notice to vacate before they can file for eviction in that case.

  • Kirag212

    I’d expect to pay MORE for a live-in as they can’t be with family, go out late, etc. googling San Diego nanny rates gets me $22-29/hour which would be $880+ for an 8 hr/5 day a week job.

  • SkyNo234

    As an au pair with the same conditions, you get around 195$

  • So-Called_Lunatic

    My 17 year old gets 100 a day for watching 2 kids during summer.

  • Regularity

    >I cannot be gone by Friday I have to much things that I need to ship out back home, legally are they aloud to just kick me out like that?

    Legally, no. But they legally can’t be paying you a tiny fraction of minimum wage and have tried to do that, too. So I doubt it will stop them.

    Be prepared for them to kick you out. Take meticulous notes about everything you have to spend because of this (moving truck, transport, motel costs, etc) because if it goes to court you should be able to get most of it reimbursed.

    On top of violating labor laws and illegal eviction, you could possibly also sue them for something known as promissory estoppel. That’s when you incur losses as a direct and inevitable result of relying on promises of another party. For example, the bait-and-switch job offer that required you to move across the country.

    You definitely need a lawyer. Hell, with this many law violations some might offer to take it on contingency (no cost to you, but in exchange for a bigger cut of the payout). Also look into local organizations for women’s shelters and aid organizations. While it may not seem relevant, in truth live-in domestic help have an extremely high rate of being abused compared to most professions so there’s a lot of overlap between the two. Even if they can’t help they may know resources which can help you.

  • ToucanToodles

    Hello! Please report this to the department of labor! This is illegal.

  • KoomValleyEternal

    That’s way below minimum wage. You live there for their convenience not yours.  It’s not a benefit to you. I’d look for other jobs in the area and move to a new family that will pay you reasonably. If what they offer is so good then they will have no trouble finding a replacement. 

  • cweisspt

    We currently pay $450 a week and they have their own area of the house, and don’t pay for any utilities. They have access to our cars, and we’re constantly paying for them when we go out and do things. They’re also family.

  • sk613

    Calculate how much room and board is worth and work from there. If renting a room would be $1000 a month (random number- I don’t know California at all), then you’re actually being paid $1600 a month or $400 a week, which isn’t great pay, but is reasonable. If the room is only worth $400 a month, then you’re working for $1000 a month. Etc.

  • Judegirl33

    No, they can’t just kick you out like that. Call the local sheriff’s department for clarification on local eviction laws. For craps sake, they were taking advantage of you at $3.75 an hour, PLUS claiming you as a dependent? Run, do not walk.

  • paulschreiber

    This is in violation of minimum wage laws. File a complaint with the state department of labpr.

  • AnakaliaKehau

    How could family treat you like that?

  • Ok_Cup_9612

    Demand your legal right of 30 days to vacate. You no longer need to perform any work duties and the uncomfortableness of the situation will likely have them offering you cash to have you leave (cash for keys.) They sound like deplorable human beings. Good luck

  • Electrical-Light9786

    $150 for the week?! oh my!

  • Altruistic-Island351

    No – this is not enough compensation. Also, there are plenty of live-in nanny jobs that offer WAY more than this.

  • tropicaldiver

    At the end of the day, you had a different vision from that of your family. They (sort of) thought of this as family helping family while you thought of this as more of a job.

    I say sort of because they have specific set hours and very specific responsibilities — which makes it sound very much like an actual job. And they are almost certainly failing to comply with tax and wage laws.

  • Rater1969

    That was the wage I got in 1989 as a live in Nanny. I was making $425 a week when I stopped being a live in nanny in 1995 and got married. I would start looking for a new live in job quickly. There is always a demand. You are not an Au Pair, they get air fare from their country and the parents pay a lot to the agency. You can do better. [care.com](http://care.com) has a lot of live in nanny jobs in San Diego starting over $19 an hour.

  • smorfin

    I have a friend that pays her live in nanny $100/day or roughly $3000/mo whether or not she takes off for the weekend or works a short week because she is gone visiting with her grandkids. You are being seriously underpaid.

  • Responsible-Maybe648

    Wait… you are costing them money? Isn’t that the point? In order to have a full-time nanny and have them clean, it should be costing them money. That’s how that works. Did they not think it would cost them money for child care?

  • ForsakenFish5437

    It’s 20/hr minimum

  • TangeloConsistent724

    That’s insanely low that’s not even basic minimum wage. That is not even a legal wage. How is this even a post. Could you live off of 150 weeks sir?!?

  • NeighborhoodOdd4016

    They are about to realize how much they were saving omfg

  • Fudge-Unfair

    I am so confused as to why you’re asking this question now, in the situation rather than beforehand. You are completely getting screwed over.

  • princess20202020

    This sounds like human trafficking. What is your immigration status? Is that why they are able to take advantage of you? Are they holding your documents?

  • RaspberryPhysical837

    Not legal advice but will you have $600/mo after paying for all of your bills if you were to get another job? If not, it’s really not as bad as it seems.