- April 29, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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### Concern about Child’s Well-Being
The title says it all – on Monday, my child’s mother called to inform me that she was picking up our son from daycare and would have him for a short while. Initially, I was fine with it. However, my concern grew when she mentioned that she was moving and had no intentions of telling me her new location. I emphasized the importance of knowing where our son will be living, pointing out that in a similar situation, she would feel the same way. Eventually, she disclosed her new address, which turned out to be a 90-minute drive (without traffic) from my place. This abrupt decision seemed to lack proper planning.
### Legal Implications and Existing Agreement
In reviewing the court papers that we both agreed upon and signed, I discovered a clause stating that neither of us can move more than 50 miles away from each other without the other party’s consent. Her new residence is 70 miles from our current location, clearly violating the agreement. Additionally, she mentioned that she would be there from May 15 to December 1, raising concerns about the stability of our son’s living situation.
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### Next Steps
Considering the breach of the agreement and the impact on our son’s stability, it is essential to seek legal advice on how to address this matter. Communicating with the child’s mother about the violation of the agreement and its implications on our son’s welfare should be a priority. Through legal consultation and utilizing tools like the AI Legalese Decoder, we can work towards a solution that safeguards our child’s best interests and ensures adherence to the agreed-upon terms.
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Previous Family Law attorney here. Get a lawyer immediately. She says May to December, but you never know, she could stay longer. I’ve seen many parents move under the guise of it being “temporary”. If you do nothing, and then try and dispute it months later, it is likely the court will see your inaction as approval of the move. Text or email so there is a record of you telling her you disapprove. In most states for a move over 50 miles, she’s also supposed to give notice. In my state it’s at least 60 days prior to a move of 75 miles or more. Again, lawyer up asap.
May to December? That conveniently makes it just over 6 months, which is what is needed to claim residency. Get your lawyer involved.
Tell her that you don’t agree to let your child relocate with her per the parenting plan. Most states have a process in place if one parent wants to relocate with a child, and it doesn’t sound like she’s doing that. If she is set on moving you will have to retain an attorney to file for a modification in custody.
You need to get a lawyer ASAP and prevent her from moving away. If you wait too long after she does it, the courts may just let her live 70 miles away
Also her May to December is a 6 month time frame which will me new residence record for the child and means she can move the venue of any custody changes to the new area she would reside in.
Alert the court, they won’t like this.
A lot of people have said to get a lawyer. If you cannot afford one, see if there is a family legal center for divorce disputes. Some states call them “Friend of the Court”, “Family Domestic Aid”, or something else. They will not represent you, but will provide information on what you need to file, help you get the forms, and sometimes process them.
That said, you definitely need to get on this immediately. If you do not, the court will consider you to have agreed by default. I speak from experience.
Alert the court IMMEDIATELY
It’s not the answer you are looking for, it is the answer you need. You need to go to your attorney and file for contempt. It is going to cost you money in the short term. If what you say is true about the custody agreement, she has ignored terms and taken it upon herself to willingly violate them. It will start with a “show cause” hearing and may escalate to a contempt hearing. You need to protect yourself and your relationship with your child in the face of a spiteful ex. If she loses the show cause or the contempt, she will be liable for attorney fees.
The address may not be true, you drop your child off and see the place.
Last minute pickup and moving at the same time is a red flag she maybe be taking off with child.
Go back to court and let them handle it. Save the screenshot or make her message you about it so you have proof
Just go back to court. That is the only way to get her to stick to the agreement. Or get your lawyer to write to her first and tell her that she will be kidnapping your son if she moves against the court agreement stipulations
File contempt of court. If you can’t afford a lawyer a paralegal can help you. If you can’t afford that you go to the court house and file it yourself and pay a small fee probably.
Do not be a bigger man, in the legal arena, it bites you back. It’s so unfortunate but when dealing with the unnegotiable… playing nice is a losing undertaking
Its only temporary if there is a signed agreement she will move back Dec 1 (and even then, you now know you cannot trust her signed agreements). Otherwise, consider it an indefinite move in any actions/planning you take.
In general, breaking an agreement either is addressed in the contract or its not. If it is, you can consider not getting a lawyer, but if it is not then you need a lawyer ASAP as she has broken your previous agreement.
Don’t tell her nothing. Let the service of papers do the telling . They can avoid service and nearly everything else. If you have the address go and see an attorney and file immediately . As previously said this “temporary” thing can and often does turn out to be much longer . It is important that you go file soon.
What percentage of custody do u currently have?
Get a lawyer and take her back to court. Document any and all interactions with her and ensure that you say, nor do anything disrespectful. Courts do not look upon violations well. So, I’d highly recommend limiting contact unless it involves your child to any degree. Detail any information she gives you secondarily, dates, times, locations if applicable.
Question, is it 70 miles door to door, or 70 miles “as the crow flies”? Because that may make a difference.
In my stipulation mine says x amount of miles from the other parent. I think mine is like 60 miles. I agree with the majority here. I think you should text her that you don’t approve let her know it breaks your current agreement and as soon as you can, talk to a lawyer, as she will most likely explode on you. It could entice her to file with the court herself.
This happened to my old roommate and the judge did NOTHING. one child got a flight back on her own, the other didnt want to leave mom. Kidnapping charge went out the window. Lawyer up asap. Parenting classes, proof of stability, etc.. anything that grabs the judges attention will get you custody.
It sounds like she was attempting to hide this move from you. I can say she knows exactly what she is doing and hoping you would not find out until it was too late. For your sake and your child’s obtain an attorney ASAP. She is violating a court order. If she moves and goes to court in that county, they could change everything. Please CYA and your child’s.
SHE can move wherever, but the child stays behind with you.
IMAL (but not your lawyer) who has also been through this in my personal capacity.
I echo what others have said. Immediately respond, via email, with something to the effect of “on X date you notified me over the phone of your intent to move to X location. Upon further research, it is clear that X location is X miles from your prior residence. Your lack of notice to me of this intended change is in violation of Section X of our Custody Order (or whatever the document you have is titled). I do not consent to you relocating with CHILD to X location.”
Add whatever additional information you like, and then lawyer up and an order to show cause/contempt will likely be filed. The issue here is how your current custody schedule is set up. For example, if she has primary residential custody and is willing to continue to meet you at the pre-arranged site for you to begin your weekend visits, a court is unlikely to give her more than a slap on the wrist. That being said — giving NO notice and doing it this way does not look good for her, and could be grounds for you to seek to establish a different custody schedule that’s in the best interest of the child (i.e. you live in a more favorable school district, your housing situation is more secure, etc.). This is why you need a lawyer — and soon.
I’ll give you a quick recap of my personal situation. My husband had 80/20 custody of SS then 7. Ex-wife had every other weekend from school dismissal to Sunday at 6pm and every Wednesday night dinner. We learned of her intent to move 70 miles away — to an adjoining state — via a handwritten note she put in SS’s “return to teacher” binder.
I immediately drafted an email for my husband. We also followed up with a text (over documenting is always better) indicating that he 1) had not received notice on her intended move, pursuant to the Custody Order, and 2) did not consent to said move, as it would affect drop-off and pick-up.
In court, she immediately jumped to “I do most of the driving anyway, and am willing to continue to pick him up from school on my Wednesday dinner nights and the Fridays of my weekends, I ask that Father meet me half way, at a mutually agreed upon spot, to exchange SS on Sundays when I am to return him to Father.” The court said that was fair, she’d already moved at that point, so there was nothing to “stop,” and we all went on with our lives. We didn’t have an attorney for the hearing as very little was at stake and it was very unlikely we would have been awarded attorney fees (this rarely happens, ever).
How much this move affects you is going to be the determinant factor in what you choose to do going forward, but as everyone else has already said, immediately document (email and text), cite the language of the Order, and express that you do not consent. This will at least set your attorney up to be in the best possible position to make your case going forward. Best of luck!
Get back to the Judge who made the order. She is in violation of the court order. Ask the court to find her in contempt of court. Do you want the custody agreement to change?
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