- April 5, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Working Through Filing for Dissolution with STBX-Wife
STBX-Wife and I are currently in the process of filing for a dissolution. Despite some challenges, our relationship is generally amicable, and we have come to an agreement on how to divide assets, custody arrangements, and child support.
### Concerns about Directly Paying Child Support
I am curious if anyone has experience with paying child support directly to an ex-spouse without involving the state, and whether this can potentially lead to complications in the future.
My main worry is that if our co-parenting relationship deteriorates or if either of our financial situations change, my ex-wife could involve the courts and seek back child support, even though I have been making direct payments. I am aware that these direct payments could be seen as gifts by the state.
### Seeking Legal Protection with a Personal Agreement
In light of these concerns, I am considering whether it would be beneficial to create a legal personal agreement stating that I will not be liable for back pay as long as I continue to make payments directly to my ex-wife. I am uncertain of the legal validity of such an agreement and whether it would be enforceable in court.
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****** just grabbed a
This just happened to us. We had no order for 6 years. I decided to file for formal child support/custody because things went in a different direction (ncp moved and time sharing decreased significantly). Although I indicated in all of the documents that the ncp had paid me directly every month, they still said that he owed $20k for the last two years(because that’s as far back as you can go). I sent them a letter today indicating that I’d like then to waive his arrears so just waiting now to see if it’s approved. If I didn’t send the letter, he would have had an additional $300 tacked on to his monthly payment.
I definitely understand your concern. But my advice would be to get the state involved. If you don’t, all the money you give could be considered a gift and not count. She could ask the state to backpay from the date of filing, and she might get it. I think having the state involved if you already plan to take care of your kid,it’s not going to be that big of a deal, and could save a lot of heartache in the future.
This is absolutely not allowed in Ohio. Read the state statutes. Every penny will be a gift and you can be ordered to repay it all.
Full stop, no exceptions. If you pay her directly, it is not child support. They only allow payments that are processed through them. Anyone saying you can make an agreement yourself is mistaken and doesn’t understand the Ohio law.
“Any payment of money by the person responsible for the support payments under a support order to the person entitled to receive the support payments that is not made to the office of child support, or to the child support enforcement agency administering the support order under sections 3125.27 to 3125.30 of the Revised Code, shall not be considered a payment of support under the support order and, unless the payment is made to discharge an obligation other than support, shall be deemed to be a gift.”
even having a letter that was notarized between the two of you doesn’t mean much. If she asked for a real valuation of child support, and it changed, the paper wouldn’t be worth much I would assume.
My DH tried to not pay CS through the state because up front it’s more affordable and his baby momma was being reasonable at the time.
Well, she stopped being reasonable, and here it’s up to the judge to decide if his payments were gifts or child support. His lawyer is optimistic, but we can’t be 100%. She’s talking about wanting 20k in backpay and the only way that makes sense if she pretends he never paid her anything.
Cover your ass. It’s the best approach to most things in life. It doesn’t matter what she says or does *right now.* People change.
Doesnt matter how cordial relationship is, whenever money is involved-protect yourself at all times.
Get a modification done thru the courts, waiving all CS by both parties.
CP & I agreed I pay her directly -did so for 4yrs. Never missed a payment. Than one summer day i got nasty gram in mail from CS agency stating i owe over $44k in CS.
CP ignored my request for her to contact CS agency to have debt waived. She did not. After paying $5k for lawyer, needed have Judge discharge the debt after proof of all bank records were submitted as evidence.
Luckily, Judge ruled in my favor but could have easily been considered a “gift” in same CS amount, for 4yrs straight.
CP is not ur friend.
If you agree get it made into a court order. That protects both of you
You can go through the court and have a stipulation agreement filed
If I’m understanding your post correctly, you’re talking about paying through the child support office without your ex having opened an enforcement case, right?
If so, you should know that going this route is almost always better for the person paying support because making payments through state’s central system, despite not having a case open, protects you; the payment history would be iron clad. You get free accounting of your payments without any of the enforcement actions against you by the state’s child support office (because there would be no enforcement case open). At DCSS those cases are referred to as “privately managed” because we (DCSS) weren’t required to do case management on them (no phone calls, collections, license suspensions, requests to modify, school verifications, etc).
If you can agree an amount put it in the parenting plan to cya!!!!! Cover your ass! If you can agree on a lower amount. No one is going to tell you to pay more; unless down the road she request a review. Normally after 3 years have gone by.
If you have an agreement you should still go through the court to cover your bases. The state will enforce your agreement as presented to them. You can still pay your ex directly. Child Support Services is what you want to avoid.