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## My Experience with Separate Bedrooms for Opposite-Sex Children

My children, a 7-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son, have shared a room for as long as they’ve been alive. In 2021-2022, while searching for a new place to live, our landlady, who is a family friend, introduced us to a woman who claimed she could help us find a new house. During the visit, the woman mentioned that it could be illegal for opposite-sex children to share a bedroom past a certain age.

Naturally, my husband and I were taken aback by this information. I decided to do some research on the matter, specifically looking into Michigan laws regarding children of different genders sharing a room. However, my search didn’t yield any concrete information on the legality of the situation.

The closest thing I found was a guideline from Child Protective Services stating that it is not advisable for opposite-sex children to share a bedroom, but it didn’t explicitly state that it was illegal.

As a result, we are now contemplating separating our children in the next couple of years. However, I am still unsure about the legality of the situation. Can someone provide clarity on this matter?

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6 Comments

  • MayorCleanPants

    It is not illegal for opposite gender children to share a room in Michigan. The exception is in foster care placements- in that case opposite gender children over 5 cannot share a room. ([source](https://www.michigan.gov/-/media/Project/Websites/mdhhs/Doing-Business-with-MDHHS/Child-Welfare/CWLPUB10.pdf?rev=eb78cf07b2854ce98d0d5215fb6e47b7))

    So she may be confusing that with MI foster care regulations.

  • rrirwin

    NLA, but previously worked as a CPS contracted support worker in my state (note: policies will vary by state). Having 2 opposite sex siblings sharing a room wouldn’t get CPS involved on its own, but if CPS got involved for other reasons, they would include that as something actionable and wouldn’t close the case until that was resolved. I only had it come up twice when I worked there, but it was always a pain in the ass because affordable housing was often limited.

  • Stock_Blacksmith_299

    >The only thing I did find was some material from Child Protective Services stating that it was not recommended for children of the opposite sex to share a bedroom.

    What was the context for this recommendation? Every other time I’ve seen people quote similar guidelines those were actually just for foster care, adoption, etc. and being misinterpreted.

    Guidelines are almost always specific to the situation they’re written for. For example, in many places foster children are advised not to share a bedroom, which makes sense because being removed from your family is disruptive enough already and sharing a bedroom with a stranger is pretty intrusive on top of that. That context doesn’t apply to non-foster children. Similarly, imagine a guideline that a family court judge would use to rule on a custody dispute, e.g. giving more physical custody to the parent with more stable housing*, really shouldn’t be extrapolated to mean that CPS will take your children away if you have unstable housing; “which parent is better able to parent at the moment” is an entirely different question to “is either parent good enough at all”, both because of the parent’s right to parent their children and the negative effects that being removed from their parents generally has on children.

    *I don’t know if such a guideline (written or otherwise) exists.

  • Internet_Ghost

    I’m unaware of any law in any jurisdiction that makes it illegal for siblings to share rooms. In fact, it would probably be unconstitutional because it invades your constitutional right of privacy within your own home.