- December 1, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Living with in-laws in Sydney to save for a deposit
Moving back in with in-laws in Sydney to save for a home deposit may seem like a great financial decision, but it also comes with its own set of challenges and sacrifices. This decision can have a significant impact on your daily life and independence. It’s important to carefully weigh the pros and cons before making a commitment.
Benefits of Living with In-laws to Save for a Deposit
Living with your in-laws can provide a cost-effective solution to saving for a deposit on a house. You’ll likely be able to save a significant amount on rent and living expenses, which can help you reach your savings goals faster. Additionally, living with family members can provide a support network and a sense of community that may not be available in a rental property.
Challenges of Living with In-laws to Save for a Deposit
While saving money is a primary goal, living with in-laws may come with certain sacrifices. You may need to give up the convenience of living close to work, friends, and the city. In addition, adjusting to a new living arrangement and potentially sacrificing privacy and independence can be challenging. It can also be unnerving not being able to run your own home and make your own decisions.
AI Legalese Decoder Can Help
When navigating the legal aspects of living with in-laws to save for a deposit, the AI Legalese Decoder can help you understand the terms and conditions that may affect your living arrangement. It can provide guidance on legal rights and responsibilities, as well as offer insights on how to protect your interests while living with family members.
Seeking Advice from Others
If you’re considering moving back in with your in-laws to save for a home deposit, it’s important to seek advice from others who have been in similar situations. Hearing firsthand experiences can provide valuable insights and help you make an informed decision. You may want to inquire about the length of time others have lived with their in-laws, any challenges they faced, and whether they felt it was worth it in the end.
In summary, while living with in-laws in Sydney to save for a home deposit may offer financial benefits, it’s essential to carefully consider the impact it may have on your daily life and independence. Seeking advice from others and utilizing tools like the AI Legalese Decoder can help you make an informed decision and navigate any legal aspects of this living arrangement.
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****** just grabbed a
Really depends on your relationship with your in laws. Others experiences will differ.
Financially yes, emotionally it depends.
Living with family specially with a spouse can be very very hard. It also depends on how big the house is etc.
Knew people who did it during covid and their relationship is now terrible with their parents.
I think it depends on the space available to you. Having a space that you’re able to have privately outside of a bedroom is important. Are your in-laws the type to have an opinion on everything?
I moved home at 28 (for different reasons) and lasted 2 months. It was hell. No amount of money could get me to go through that again.
Depends on your goals
If I were you, I would answer the following two questions my girlfriend at the time put to me when I raised this exact topic:
* Are you comfortable with a higher probability that my parents will hear us being intimate?
* Are you comfortable that, if we were to have an argument, my parents will almost certainly take my side and it’s 3-on-1 against you?
We moved in with the in laws during the birth of a child for 4 months and currently not on speaking terms 4 years afterwards.
I would not recommend. I did it briefly between moving between states and I found I was spending more money eating dinner out as I desperately wanted to be out of the home.
Edit- gee IÔÇÖm a bit negative in my comment. I guess it depends on your relationship with said parents or in laws. I moved out 9 years ago and moved back in briefly and struggled but thatÔÇÖs just me
My daughter and I spent 5 months at my mother’s while preparing to buy. It was different and must have been hard on my mum. But I’m very lucky to have had the support
If you have a good relationship with them and itÔÇÖs logistically possible, there is absolutely no shame in doing so.
I would if I could.
Financially maybe, emotionally also maybe.
Tried it once, lasted 6 weeks. We paid ÔÇÿboardÔÇÖ plus were suddenly the live in help – cooking every meal, doing all housework, and had to purchase groceries for everyone including their very specific requirements for certain foods. It was a strain on our relationship as a couple, and certainly strained the parental relationship. TLDR wasnÔÇÖt emotionally or financially beneficial for us.
Have seen it work well for others, but definitely depends on the personalities at play.
Eventually managed to buy while paying market rent but took so much longer that way.
Its not easy, your privacy and freedom will be curtailed but if you can manage it, it could set you up for the future.
Will your other expenses like travel increase?
As someone who is old enough to be your parent, I think it depends on the relationship you each separately have with them, and then your relationship as a couple. IÔÇÖm the type that would have a really direct / honest conversation. eg as two separate couples will you be responsible for preparing your own meals or eat together? how often? Is the tv always on or occasionally? it is the daily habits that can drive you nuts. Is there more than one living area? If you move in with them, will they be there ALL the time, or do they have their own interests? what do they expect you to contribute to maintaining the home – garden, vacuuming, cleaning? I like light in my house – would you want to keep the blinds closed? My mother always had an 8am Saturday clean the house – it never changed (would drive my daughter nuts). My daughter early 20s recently moved out- I want her to have fun and do things without parents hovering. However, if she wanted to come back for 12 months with a partner and goal in mind, weÔÇÖd prob make it work – we also have the space. My husband and I would also disappear some weekends so they can enjoy themselves without us around, or have friends over. Mutual respect and acknowledging that you are two sets of adults with different needs and priorities and what does that look like? Heating hi or lo? These are the things that can grate. (lol – married 30 years and still arguing the toss on that one with my husband). If you binge watch Netflix in a Sunday – will they join in or be tut-tutting about not doing enough / being lazy – or che sera sera?Write down these potential pain points and how you might handle them and discuss with inlaws before deciding. BTW – you sound quite reasonable so if you can see your way there then being able to get a start in property is great. If you cant have these conversations then may nit be a good idea!! Sorry – that was a brain dump. Take care ƒÅí
If you were single IÔÇÖd say sure. But as a married couple, unless you have a positive relationship with your in laws (and I mean very positive, not simply ÔÇ£goodÔÇØ) then itÔÇÖs not going to work.
Do it, but be prepared for the usual emotional bs that can crop up from this type of arrangement. Communicate well.
Good god no
I did if for 6 months and IÔÇÖll admit I didnÔÇÖt love it. But I got the money for the house. So definitely worth it.
Sure thing for 12 month
Even if you do it for six months youÔÇÖll be better off than if youÔÇÖd not done it at all. The benefits are that youÔÇÖll have each other and youÔÇÖre both still super young.
I think itÔÇÖs harder the older you get and if youÔÇÖre not in a relationship. Saying you live with your parents as an adult (especially the older you get) *can* be a relationship dealbreaker for a lot of people, so you donÔÇÖt need to worry about that!
Depends on the parents
Really depends on the individual factors – your relationship/s with said in laws, layout of the house etc etc.
The fact that they’ve offered is a good sign surely? But I’d say potentially worth sitting down with said in laws and fleshing out exactly what it would look like – do they have ‘house rules’, how would they expect you to contribute financially or housework-wise, general ‘how would we coexist’ type chat.
Definitely a great idea financially, but worth exploring if you can actually live with it.
ETA: did it during COVID, 10000% worth it, now have a great relationship with my in laws that I never would’ve otherwise come close to
See, I think about doing the same thing, but my parents charged me rent when I was living there as a teen-early twenties, and they’ll charge me more now. Isn’t worth it to save an extra 200 a week. Ôÿ╣´©Å
No pain no gain .!
Yes it is.
We rented for a year. Decided it was shit paying someone else’s mortgage.
Moved in with her parents for 9 months and saved heaps. Bought a house.
We had no children though and the in-laws were chill. We paid all the bills, but no rent.
One year of inconvenience to be set up for the rest of your life?
I know you’re young but seems like a no brainer..
I’ve done it. But my plan is to do a masters degree next year and retrain. Doing so in my own apartment or rental wouldn’t be as easy. I plan on completing the course and then getting my partner to move in for 12 months or less before we buy our own place. I really get along with my parents so I really enjoy it. If I didn’t like them so much I wouldn’t have considered it.
At the end of the day it’s worth it. The amount I can save without trying is really miles ahead of renting.
Try it!
only if you and your wife are in good relation with the parent.
You will be living under their roof so you would be expected to follow their rules, and you are ok to follow their rules. I would hate to live with my in laws, and my wife would too with my mom… but both of us have been living away from our parents since our 20s
it will be tough, but just keep your eyes on your goals.
Good luck and all the best
As others have said, I think it hugely depends on the relationships between the 4 people – both what they are and what kind of relationship you want to have with each other.
You can definitely expect conflicts of one type or another to come up over that time period. So you really need to think through and probably talk through how to manage them ahead of time.
Another option that might be easier to deal with could be just moving into a really small place that is cheaper. Possibly leaving a lot of stuff at the in laws place. WonÔÇÖt save you as much but less taxing emotionally for everyone.
how much more will you be saving?
Yes it is, but have realistic expectations. ItÔÇÖs not easy living with parents, we did for a year and a half. Ended up going out for brunch every weekend to avoid them, plus multiple holidays and getaways. Did save a bomb, so definitely worth it though.
We moved in with my parents for about 9 months to save. The thing I will say is that you donÔÇÖt need to be close to all your friends bc if youÔÇÖre really trying to save a lot, your social life is going to take a hit anyway- you will be limiting going out / occasions where you spend money etc.
Anyway, in the end everyone buys where they are going to buy and unless you buy close to where all your friends buy you end up making new friends who are local. You canÔÇÖt base your life around where your current set of friends are. It changes a lot as soon as people start having kids (unless you all have kids at the same time AND live locally).
I’m just starting this now. Create an exit plan just in case. I don’t know how I’ll go moving back in with my folks, so I have established a plan to get out if it gets too much. It’s written up with options and steps to take, so much of the decision-making is done for me should it get to a point where I just need out.
Give it a go, but walk in promising yourself to get out if your mental health needs it.
We were offered this as well, but when we started taking in to account having to store all our furniture and stuff it started looking too hard. Our circumstances changed so we never had to make the call, but I donÔÇÖt think weÔÇÖd have done it.
In my culture for better or worse we always stay with parents unless we move overseas or work in a diff city where daily commute is not practical. Since they offered you the opportunity, I would have accepted it anyway. If there is any awkwardness it will go away in few days or weeks. You may actually find it enjoyable.
My wife (33), son, and I (33) moved in with her parents last year for this reason. Financially it has unlocked us. We aren’t high earners but are on track to have a six figure deposit in the near future. We are lucky in that their house is two storey and we effectively have separate living spaces, otherwise I’m not sure I would have ever agreed to it.
Has it been worth it for us? Yes, definitely – even if inflation and interest rate rises are still cutting the legs out from underneath us (not as much as renters of course).
Would it be worth it for you? Only you can answer that really, but if you think you can set up a living arrangement which doesn’t get on your nerves all the time then I would say that it’s worth giving it a good old college try.
The number of people who have a rubbish relationship with their parents in this thread is actually shocking.
IÔÇÖm 50, I did this for a few months as a single in my 30s. I think the key is for you and your partner to plan to be out of the house as much as possible, and for these times to be predictable. While interaction is fine, the parents will have routines which they wonÔÇÖt like to disrupt no matter how nice they are.
Suggestions:
– if your workplace allows, get up and go straight to work early. Have Brekky, do makeup, do your morning walk etc at work. Just say you work a lot/work is busy.
– join a cheap gym and meet your partner there after work. You get some together time and use the year to get fit. (Swap out for a run, walk, dog park, touch footy, classes, wherever).
– arrive home after 7. With any luck the parents are early eaters. They do their dinner, you do yours. This saves loads of potential friction.
– if you donÔÇÖt have a separate living space you need a tv or laptops in your room. Polite chat while youÔÇÖre doing dinner and a bit after, then retire to your room to watch tv, read etc.
– on weekends, plan to go away once a month. Start lining up any friends that will have you to stay, or get into camping, or get into dog sitting where you stay the night at the dog owners house. You donÔÇÖt want to be booking last minute expensive hotels when youÔÇÖre desperate. Line up BBQs at all your friends houses for months in advance – tell them youÔÇÖll love having them over once you have your own place.
– have a look at house sitting sites and try and line up some house sits through the year as breaks.
– treat the parents every week or two by planning/making a weekend brekky. Pick one household chore you can do without discussion and stick to it – bins might be a good one. If you have your own bathroom, keep it sparkling. For clothes, you donÔÇÖt need them all. Leave some in storage.
– finally, have an agreed end date and stick to it. If things get difficult, people tend to stay polite if they know thereÔÇÖs an end in sight.
DonÔÇÖt forget to factor in the cost of storage of your furniture, kitchenware, etc. Personally IÔÇÖd sell all this stuff and start fresh with my new place, depends on what you have.
DonÔÇÖt expect the parents to change anything at all – theyÔÇÖre doing you a favour. Be aligned with your partner at all times. Any sign of drama, say youÔÇÖre going for a walk.
It will be a big boost to your deposit and do-able if you plan well.
Good luck!
It depends on so many factors.
Space is probably the biggest one. If you are constantly in each others hair and canÔÇÖt get away to another living area, youÔÇÖre eventually going to get sick of eachother.
If itÔÇÖs a quick predetermined period, you may be sweet. You can see the goal and the end of the arrangement. If itÔÇÖs likely to be medium to long term, thatÔÇÖs less likely to work out.
Are you similar people? If they like to get up early, or stay up lateif that is the opposite to you, be prepared to get some frustrating moments.
Depends what type of person you are. If you are overly considerate, youÔÇÖll find yourself constantly tip toeing around and not being comfortable.
Conversely, if youÔÇÖre inconsiderate, youÔÇÖre gonna piss them off.
How long since youÔÇÖve lived at home? Parents will often revert back to old habits without thinking, where are you going? Why are you eating out when dinner is here? Can lead to some frustrating moments when youÔÇÖve developed an Independent lifestyle.
I had to do it for 6 months this year. My experience was fine. Wasnt 100% comfortable and longed for my independent routine or just slumping on the lounge for the evening playing PlayStation. Waking up early trying to be quiet but understanding it was not possible. But for the most part, it was okay! We knew the goal, and it was merely a temporary arrangement.
Relationship is fine now, no dramas or ill feelings. They now tell us how much they miss having us around.
My parents did this after they got married and had their first born – moved in with dads parents. Mum hated it. Over stepping grandparents, weird social and power dynamics. She said things reached a point where they had to move out and rent just to stay sane and save the marriage.
You have the opportunity to live rent free for a year in the most expensive city in the world. At the end of that year, you can afford to buy a house in that city, during a nationwide housing crisis.
A lot of people would envy your position.
Say bye bye to your sex life, my wife refuses to have sex in her parents home.
The bigger questions is: will you be willing to buy a place far from where you enjoy living, after you save for a deposit living where you don’t want to live. Chances are that the speed you can save money will be outpaced by the inflating costs of popular neighbourhoods. So even after you have a deposit, you may need to again live far from your ideal area.
I never realised how bad so many people’s relationships are with their parents or in-laws until reading this thread.
I was single when I moved back in with my mum to save for a house, 15 years later im mortgage free listening to others bitch about house prices. My mum has gotten along very well with all my partners.
If both your partner and the parents are emotionaly stable it shouldn’t be an issue. Go stay for an extended weekend or something.
I have friends who lived with grandparents until 30s then purchased house outright.
Aussie bogans who have a problem with it. It’s this attitude problem that keeps them poor and renting for ever. Putting there money into some shit box car instead of house as they have given up on affording a house.
It’s not unusual in a lot of cultures to live at home.
Unless they have a granny flat or dual living set up, it will probably ruin your relationship with both your in laws and your wife.
Smart. Many here hesitating to get on the property ladder for reasons beyond me, you guys will go far. Paitence now for end success
Try it out for 2 weeks before you commit.
Prepare to have your freedom striped and relationship/lifestyle with your wife questioned after a short period of time; mainly from your mother-in-law.
As much as it may be funny, there is a serious side to this. Just be prepared for a bumpy ride but I guess it depends on how much can you save and is it really worth your sanity.
Yes. Do it. As someone who didn’t.
Absolutely. It takes 1-2 years then you are set.
No, moving from a situation that you love to one that is less desirable for no other reason than speeding up a deposit is a miserable choice that will lead to conflict with the parents or your partner, greater work stress, less free time, and reduced social connection. It doesnÔÇÖt really depend on the relationship with your parents.
Just do it. ItÔÇÖs such a lucky start. Save your money for a year and it can set you up for life.