- April 10, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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# Seeking Help with a Legal Situation
Hi all.
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I’ve ruined my life.
I’m 24 years old, living in the UK, and I had a good job on an engineering grad scheme with a degree from a reputable university. A few months ago, I was taken in for something unrelated, and my phone was seized. Although I’m 99% sure that the initial issue will lead to nothing, they found 16 indecent images/videos and some extreme adult material (inaccessible) on my phone. Yesterday, they took me in for further questioning. They informed me that it will take around 6 months to fully review the evidence and schedule a court date. I deeply regret my actions and going down this dark path. It feels like my life as I know it is over. While prison is not on the table, I understand that I will face some form of punishment and be placed on the offender registry.
I have been forthcoming and accepting of my wrongdoing, and I can only see myself pleading guilty. I am desperate to find a way out of this situation. I had hopes and dreams for my future, and now it seems like everything is falling apart. I have made the decision to move to a more affordable place to save money while I still have my job. I plan to save as much as possible before I inevitably lose my job, even selling items that I no longer need. I am willing to undergo counseling, therapy, or any other form of intervention that may help reduce the severity of my sentence. I am filled with deep regret, and all I want is to move forward with my life. Thankfully, my family is supportive, and I have confided in one friend, but I feel helpless. I am at a loss for what to do next. I cannot fathom the extent of the mess I’ve created and how it has tarnished all my aspirations and hard work.
Please, can someone offer guidance on how to navigate this difficult situation? I feel paralyzed, alternating between tears and attempting to focus on work. I am unable to return home to stay with my family, as I have a younger brother who I do not want to expose to the complications of my current circumstances. I deeply apologize for my actions. Prior to this incident, I had a clean record, with only one detention for being late. I am good with people, and I refuse to believe that I am a monster. I am simply an individual who made a terrible mistake. I am sorry.
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****** just grabbed a
Well I guess what I’ll say is that I don’t think you ruined your life. I was two years younger than you when I was arrested, but it sounds like we were at similar points in life. I was in graduate school at the time to become what had been, at that point, my life’s dream: a therapist. I believed everything was over, but it wasn’t, it was just the beginning.
I don’t know the laws in the UK very well, so I can’t speak to that, but what I can speak to is that things might become different for you, moving forward, but different doesn’t necessarily mean bad, and can in many ways be very good. I regard my arrest as one of the best things that could have happened to me, as painful as it was go to through at the time, and as scary as it was.
And that was a long time ago now, almost 20 years. So it’s with the benefit of that time I can say I don’t think it ruined my life at all, but it saved my life. I was able to get honest and get help, make amends, and it led me into a career that I never considered before but I also can’t imagine myself doing anything different than being a lawyer. I’m married to a wonderful and beautiful woman who is quite frankly also a better and smarter lawyer than me, and she is someone I would not have met but for my past. Her family is well aware of my past and no one judges me over it (or if they do, no one has at least voiced that to me). We own our home and while life still has challenges, even stemming from my conviction, I’ve found that there is nothing that is insurmountable so long as you keep getting up whenever you get knocked down.
I know you won’t be able to see it now, but one day you will look back on this as a gift, if you’re open to receiving it. For now, one foot in front of the other, day at a time. Just focus on doing the next right thing. 12-step recovery helped me immensely in the beginning. I’d also recommend reading If by Rudyard Kipling and De Profundis by Oscar Wilde. Good luck. My DMs are open.
Learn compartmentalization, while on probation/parole, on the registry, and in life in general you will be reminded of your past on a consistent basis. Compartmentalize the past from the present. The past will affect your present, but your past isn’t your present. No matter what you try to do you can’t change what was, the only things you can influence is the present and how you react when your past affects your present.
As an alternative to a behavior modification program with “mental punishment”, you could find a licensed therapist who specializes in treating RSOs. A licensed counselor with expertise in this area, sex/addiction therapist, CSOTPs, etc. If they are rude or judgmental, find a different one. We are not seeking to excuse the behavior – rather to explain it so we can prevent it from happening again. This is what I am currently getting licensed to specialize in. Hang in there 💛
I really hope you find peace bro. Reading through Reddit, it seems a lot of people on these charges have 0 interest in CP but rather curiosity threw them down a blinding route.
Also, a high percentage of CSAM offences are committed by people with porn addictions, which with addiction you end up going down a risky path because of the “adrenaline” induced from the illegality of it.
I found the adrenaline side true when I was addicted to watching crazy death videos and shit (BestGore etc). I knew it was sick and twisted watching it, but I never had a personal interest in killing people, ever, and I never will.
I respect the harsh laws regarding CSAM because we need to protect children, But I also find it can sometimes be very harsh labelling all minor CSAM offences on the same burden as people who commit mass offences (i.e abusing kids and filming themselves).
Don’t think that everything’s over, use every bit of negativity of this to prosper more. Find peace in your mind, and you will find peace in this crazy world.
Anxiety and depression will always come with something that is very much frowned upon in this world, but it won’t ever define you.
I wish you luck moving forward and bettering yourself.
The best way to fit this is to be honest with yourself. And adj yourself why this happened. Why did you go down the rabbit hole. Why did you out? Just look at other pron or mags.
I run a few behavior modification programs in the US. It’s the first thing we do is figure out why we did it. Then we talk about it, and then I set up a series of mental punishments to work only when we think of bad thoughts. So it’s stopped before we go into that hole agsin.
Such a small amount that probably nothing will actually happen.