- April 16, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Situation Overview: Living Separately with Ex and Financial Struggles
In a nutshell, the situation involves living separately under the same roof with an ex-partner due to cost constraints, primarily for the sake of their children. However, just before the lease renewal, the ex suddenly refused to sign, placing the individual in a difficult spot. Despite being unable to find suitable accommodation, the lease was renewed. Subsequently, the ex-partner unexpectedly left, leaving the individual emotionally distraught and contemplating their future. This has added to the emotional turmoil already faced as they simultaneously navigate completing studies and applying for full-time jobs.
## Financial Concerns and Responsibilities
In the midst of emotional turmoil, the individual is left questioning the financial obligations between partners. They wonder if the ex-partner owes them any financial support and admit to feeling lost in this scenario. While the ex has agreed to pay child support, they claim that they do not owe any additional financial assistance. This leaves the individual solely responsible for orthodontic bills, school fees, rent, and other expenses, having previously shouldered these costs with limited financial resources. With minimal savings and no super to fall back on, the individual finds themselves in a financially precarious situation.
## Seeking Support and Clarification
Feeling overwhelmed and abandoned, the individual questions if they are entitled to more financial support from the ex-partner, considering the significant financial burden they now face alone. Despite attempts to discuss potential contributions towards the children’s needs, the ex-partner remains uncooperative and refuses to engage in meaningful communication. The individual, aged 48, expresses concerns about never reaching retirement due to the current circumstances.
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****** just grabbed a
You need to seek legal advice and go through a financial separation to sort out what you’re entitled to
I would also reached out to Centrelink and Child Support Agency to get all of that sorted ASAP
You need to be on the phone with a lawyer at 9.01am Monday.
Whether he agrees or not he owes you child support.
Realistically you need some legal advice not financial to make sure he is paying you the right amount.
No one’s mentioned it, but aren’t you entitled to a certain split of his super? I mean you need proper advice but it should be on your radar.
Edit:
Oh I do see another mention super as well.
“Maybe I’m wrong and acting entitled because I’m distressed, but this feels like he’s just walking away easily without any real responsibility and a large super to enjoy in retirement”
1. You are not acting entitled. You are raising concerns about your children and your survival.
2. You are actually legally entitled to a “fair and equitable” split of the marital asset pool, incl super. He can’t wriggle out of that.
3. You mentioned he gets angry when you talk about financial stuff – that’s because coercive control relies on a state of fear in the target of it. He wants you to think you don’t deserve to get anything, but that’s not how it works at all. Don’t accept scraps just because he intimidates you.
4. How is he not responsible for half of the orthodontic fees, half of the school fees, half of ALL the things for the kids if you are supposed to have 90% custody? Does he know that 90% custody to you is 1 day a fortnight of child custody for him?
5. You have to get a court order for your child custody arrangements as part of the divorce. A solicitor will help with advising on this. You can check your uni or tafe since you were studying because they have legal support services.
You need a lawyer. You have a limited window of opportunity to make a claim on his super. It’s not an indefinite do it when you are ready type of thing.
If you want to cut costs go for no win no fee and get them to push for settlement. It wont be much and the lawyers all get their beaks wet but at least it’s something.
Take a deep breath.
One thing at a time.
Orthodontics are not urgent.
School fees can be held off for hardship.
Just focus on keeping a home and food. That is enough for now.
Support your kids. Contact your siblings/parents/aunts & uncles- anyone who can help. Find a family lawyer. You got this.
Look for a Women’s Legal Service near you. They have experience in this area and may be able to link you to other services that may be of assistance.
Get a lawyer and call Centrelink. Since you have kids together and you’ve been a full time mum it sounds like you were at least a domestic partnership and you will have some rights from that. Tell Centrelink exactly what’s happened (change in circumstances etc)ask them to make it a priority case because of financial hardship. If your not currently on job seeker also apply for that. Also check out food pantries at local churches etc to help with groceries. If your really stuck with rent money call your realestate agent and be upfront with them about your situation and that he walked out with zero warning, our home is rented for the moment and honestly if I our tenant was in your situation I would understand if you were late with the rent for a few weeks. Also any other bills you have call them explain your in financial hardship and most companies have policies in place for this stuff. Good luck!
If you were defacto, you have 2 years from date of seperation to complete a binding financial settlement. Highly recommend getting legal advice/representation around this asap. Financially, contact Child Support on Monday and give them all the info they need to start a case for you. Then contact Centrelink and get your family tax benefit a and b sorted. You should also be eligible for rent assistance. It’s a shit situation but you’re not the first and won’t be the last person to find yourself in this place. Good luck 🤞🏻
I was younger but same story.
You have to get legal council and have any assets include super split. He’s right in that he only needs to pay you child support on the regular. That is meant to cover everything unless there are extra expenses you can negotiate like private school and medical.
You need to get a job. You need to split time with the kids 50/50. You need to work your arse off from here till 70. If you have an option to move in with family do so. If you have spare time start dating again and meet someone amazing who you can eventually partner with. But pick someone amazing who has a car, license to drive, a job.
You guys are renting.. so asset wise, the would be very very little in the pool.
If he’s been working.. there might be super that you can seek to get.
If he’s in a “on and off” job, there is no guarantee he doesn’t fall off the pay slips, do cash and don’t pay you anything. Sadly, I’ve seen this happened a lot.
The only thing I can suggest.. look at a cheaper rental and talk to your landlord about the possibility of exiting the lease if you find one..
Yes, he is meant to go 50/50 for the kids expense but most of the time, fighting for that is not worth it.. 😞
I just want to say it gets better ❤️ I left with my two high needs little kids 2 years ago. Similar situation in that I worked only a little bit, because kids couldn’t be in regular care and not many people could handle their “enthusiasm” and paid for everything kid related and had no access to any shared finances. You are entitled to super and savings but whether you can get it and.how long it will take us the kicker. A family lawyer is your best bet.
It will be okay. It really will be. If you think you or your kids are going to be short of food or unable to pay rent etc please reach out to places like Orange Door or other organisations like uniting care. There are a couple of places that can help while you find your feet. If you can get assigned a case worker under the umbrella of financial abuse as family violence (which it is!) they may be able to support you. I remember visiting a food bank 2 years ago. Our first Christmas in our new place was largely presents from the kind people at the foodbank. I remember they gave me a bag of mm’s they had stashed as “special treats”. I had to swallow up a lot of pride but life is better now ❤️ it will be for you too xoxo
You need a lawyer. Don’t mess around with this. You are entitled to some share of the asset pool (including your ex’s superannuation) in addition to child support. This is the case for SAHMs too.
Maybe contact Centrelink too..
But your kids are in highschool there’s no reason you can’t have a fulltime job
Legal aid, raid his super…hate myself for saying it. But it shouldn’t be too hard
What state are you in? Department of Housing Qld has a lot of new programs in place to assist renters. You may be eligible for assistance in paying the shortfall in rent to keep you housed.
Most Family solicitors will give you one free consultation and, ime, you will get a LOT of information that you will find helpful.
There’s heaps of information online about this and everything. Google what your problem is/that needs to be sorted and you will likely find an answer. Time to tighten your belt and learn how to live lean for the time being. There’s cheap/free ways to get food(google food bank in your suburb), you can get help with utility bills(call the electricity supplier and tell them you’re broke)and pretty much anything you need and you will be surprised how quickly you can adapt to not having much money. I have been through a divorce and also had an injury that stopped me from working for around six months and I am still here. It’s awfully stressful at times but you will get through it. Stay strong and get some emotional help from friends and family if you can (I couldn’t but still here).
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
As far as the orthodontist goes, don’t be embarrassed to call them up and explain the situation. Especially if you’re already part of the way through treatment, most would be happy to work with you.
Please get legal advice, please. If he was able to support you as a SAHM surely at I’m assuming he is near your age he would have some assets especially more than 10k in super, if he had no debt. Do you know much about all his finances or has he kept you in the dark. Sounds like you’ve been linked with some good supports, keep reaching out. You must feel so defeated but please try heal. Go into study, try get back into the workforce and really look after yourself. Thinking of you x
Can you find a flatmate? Maybe another single female same age group? Lots of women looking in many areas and would give you some company, opportunity to reduce utility bills and rent, and maybe even share some costs of cooking, TV subscriptions and things if you get in well? Even if it’s just short term to see how you go or tide you over.
Put through an exceptional expenses claim through the csa app.
Go to upload documents, and select additional expenses ( or similar)
Along with the advice to contact a womens legal service, it might be worth applying for a change in child support due to special circumstances:
[Special circumstances](https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/changing-your-child-support-assessment-special-circumstances?context=21911)
I would think Reason 2 would be appropriate? I’m currently paying for some orthodontics for my kids myself, so I know how expensive it is!
Sorry that I don’t have advice. But just want to say that you’re a strong woman and you’ll get through through this because you HAVE to, you will be amazed what you are capable of. Be brave, smart about it and push on. Good luck and wish you well ❤️❤️
Hey I understand your situation. I’m 52 now and got divorced 4 years ago, also didn’t claim any of his super and he paid child support. It’s been challenging but I did it, but it wasn’t easy. Few months ago I got sick and am now unable to work full-time and currently off sick. Can’t afford my rental (gone up again) and I had to give it up. My daughter and I moved out 2 days ago and now living in a hotel. Then we’ll move into a cheap Airbnb and when funds run out I’ll be homeless. I regret not looking into the super, but I was mentally exhausted at the time. I’m on a waiting list for community housing and I’ve recently been diagnosed with a disability. Feel free to msg me.
You were a SAHM raising HIS kids. You deserve half of his super because you sacrificed your years of being able to build of a nest egg for retirement yourself. This is why people marry. To protect themselves.
Make an appointment to see a financial counsellor. It’s free (legally they are not allowed to charge you) and they can help with the financial side and the legal side of navigating this. (Financial counsellors are not the same as financial advisors, they exist to help support people in crisis.)
Have you legally separated yet?
Realistically it’s only child support he would owe you, assuming you’ve already legally split. This could be lower if he has custody.
Otherwise, depending on your income and kids, there might be some welfare payment you could be entitled to.
You get child support as calculated each year.
Also you get a lump split of whatever assets he has. Cash, property, super, cars, everything. You will get more than 50% because the system is geared to give women more in the split. Depends on the circumstances but you can expect 53-70%. However this process can be drawn out particularly if he’s not cooperative.
He should have been paying child support while you were single under the one roof
Don’t just limit yourself to legal aid.
Many divorce lawyers will bill in arrears and accept payment from the family assets pool.
Start with free consultations and see what options are available. Presuming that you were together for more than the minimum 2 years or so or even married at one point means that family asset pools are part of the equation.
He’s trying to pull a swifty on you by running out now before you can pursue for the financial support you’re entitled to
Services Australia has a free financial service you can call. I’ve heard it’s really good.
https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/financial-information-service
Your 48? How old are the kids?
Have you called the national debt hotline? Talk to a free financial counsellor. They feel with similar things a lot.
How long did you cohabitate?