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**Title: Concerns About Travel Plans and Passport for my 13-year-old Son**
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**Introduction: Divorce and Unexpected Communication**
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I am currently residing in Virginia, and it has been a few years since my divorce. Unexpectedly, my ex-partner recently sent me a cryptic text message, insisting that our 13-year-old son should have a form of identification. He specifically mentioned that a passport would be ideal and requested that I meet him at the post office on one of two specified days next week. However, he failed to clarify the purpose of obtaining a passport and where he intends to take our son.

**Engagement and Lack of Transparency**
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Upon receiving this cryptic message, I immediately reached out to my ex-partner for more information. However, he remained evasive and offered elusive explanations. He insisted that having proper identification is a good idea for our son but dismissed the suggestion of a child ID, instead emphasizing the need for a passport. When prompted further, his only explanation was that it is for travel purposes.

Despite my efforts to gather more details about the intended destination, my ex-partner refused to disclose any information. He claimed that he currently has no plans and will only make them once he obtains the passport. In a passing mention, he briefly mentioned the possibility of traveling to Chicago, which raised concerns as Chicago does not require a passport for domestic travel. Furthermore, he emphasized the urgency of obtaining the passport within the next two weeks, a timeframe that I am unable to comply with due to prior commitments.

**Legal Arguments and Uncertainty**
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As I continued to press for more information, my ex-partner accused me of refusing to cooperate. However, I clarified that my intention is not to refuse but to ensure that I have adequate knowledge about the travel plans and the reason behind his secrecy. This back-and-forth interaction seemed to be caught in an unending circle, resulting in my ex-partner threatening to involve his lawyer. Within a span of seven minutes, he claimed that his lawyer advised him to file a motion and asked for my preferred course of action – to either approve the motion or show up and sign.

**Addressing the Issue and Moving Forward**
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In an attempt to resolve the situation, I informed my ex-partner that the proposed dates are inconvenient for me and requested to provide alternate dates that work for both of us. It is essential to note that my intention was never to refuse cooperation, but rather to seek clarity on his intentions. Unfortunately, I never received any relevant information in response.

**AI Legalese Decoder Assistance**
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In this perplexing situation, the AI Legalese Decoder could prove to be an invaluable resource. With its capability to analyze and interpret legal jargon and complex communicative tactics, it can help demystify and navigate the intricacies of the cryptic messages exchanged between my ex-partner and me. By decoding the legal implications and extracting the underlying meaning, this AI-powered tool can shed light on the potential consequences of my actions and offer guidance on the best course of action to take.

**Conclusion: Seeking Clarity Without Refusal**
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While I do not wish to refuse my ex-partner’s request outright, I am perplexed and concerned by the lack of transparency surrounding the intended travel plans. Depending on the destination, I may be open to granting permission for our son to travel. However, the ongoing secrecy raises suspicions and makes it difficult for me to make an informed decision.

If unable to attend the specified dates, I seek clarification regarding whether I have the option to provide alternative dates that align with my availability. By doing so, I aim to demonstrate my willingness to cooperate while ensuring that I have the necessary information before making any decisions. Should I choose to refuse until further details are disclosed, I am curious to understand the potential ramifications and legal implications of such a decision.

Apologies for the lengthy text, and any guidance or insights provided would be greatly appreciated.

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19 Comments

  • Stannic50

    OP, you’ve gotten good legal advice from others. I’ll add that if your child doesn’t have your phone number memorized, teach them now. I made the passcode to my child’s electronics my phone number and my spouse’s number and my child had both memorized in under a week.

    Also teach your child how to dial internationally and how to find a US embassy abroad.

  • real_witty_username

    A couple of questions; first off, what does your legal custody arrangement look like? Secondly, does your husband have any ties to foreign countries where he might plan to leave the country for?

    As far as him filing a motion, I’d say tell him to go for it. He won’t be able to just not answer the court regarding his desire for the minor child to have a passport that I’m assuming he’ll expect to be in possession of.

  • Typical_Agency8984

    Let him file a motion. Until you go to court communicate only through a parenting app and show the judge/commissioner the texts. Dont let him scare you. You have every reason to be concerned.

  • jmurphy42

    Does your ex and/or your child have citizenship in any foreign country? All the caginess is disturbing for multiple reasons.

    If your ex and/or your child has foreign citizenship itÔÇÖs possible he could get your child a passport through that countryÔÇÖs embassy without your knowledge or permission.

    IÔÇÖd follow the advice of the State Department at the link below and both set up a passport alert and call to speak to one of their prevention officers at the provided phone number.

    https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html

  • capmanor1755

    He’s threatening and lying because it is very difficult (although not impossible) to get a passport for a child without both parents being present.

    You are under NO obligation to agree to a passport. There have been so many issues with parents taking their children out of the country without permission that the state department has started a program to help prevent it. You now can enroll your child in the ChildrenÔÇÖs Passport Issuance Alert Program. (CPIAP) allows the Department of StateÔÇÖs Office of ChildrenÔÇÖs Issues to contact you to verify whether the┬áparental consent requirement┬áfor minor passport issuance has been met when a passport application has been submitted for an enrolled child. In addition, upon a childÔÇÖs enrollment in the CPIAP, we may alert the enrolling parent(s) or legal guardian(s) of a pending passport application and past passport issuances for the child. Only U.S. citizens or children who qualify for U.S. citizenship under the age of 18 can be enrolled in the CPIAP.

    https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html

    He may be a pushy jerk who just wants to take the kids to Cabo for spring break. Or he may be planning to take your child overseas permanently. If you agree to a passport and he takes your child overseas it will be MUCH more difficult to get them back. The fact that he’s lying and threatening you isn’t promising. On those grounds alone I’d file for CPIAP and tell him to talk to your lawyer.

  • DarkwingLlama

    NAL. Let him file a motion. He’s not giving you any information as to why this is so pressing, and his story has changed from “he needs ID” to “its for travel”. Filing a motion and getting a hearing takes time, and gives you an opportunity to present your concerns to the judge.

  • shadyside7979

    I would let him file the motion. It generally takes both parents saying yes for international travel. The judge will want to know travel plans before there is any chance of over ridding your right. Since you might be willing to let travel you would most likely have a good ruling. I would refuse until he provides travel plans. I would file with the state dept in case he tries filing without your knowledge.

    https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html/

  • JudesM

    Make him file the motion – there is something more going on here – make him say it under oath

  • MidwestMSW

    Seriously, how many times do you get your attorney on the phone and call back in less than 10 minutes? That never happens. If my ex can’t tell me where they play to go they aren’t getting a passport issued for a child who can’t even drive yet. Child IDs exist for a reason.

  • LilBlueEyes82

    Sooo, he’s lying. I would say please proceed by taking me to court. Then tell the judge what you said. A judge will want to know the same things. I would also inform him of that to. If he cannot answer these questions with me how is he going to face a judge. Also, he cannot take a child out of the country without your consent.

    I would say we can get him child ID. You want a passport, take me to court. DO NOT sign for your son to get a passport.

  • Em4Tango

    There are a lot of red flags here. I think it’s worth a call to your lawyer. It looks like he’s either planning to take the child out of country, or use the passport for something illegal. Maybe sell it? Or engage in some kind of identity theft?

  • sewingmomma

    Do you realize you are allowed to say no?

  • Much_Independence116

    I’d go down and file for sole custody, get a stay order, and get a judge to put an order saying the child can not get a passport till 18. If the child has a passport and he goes to somewhere like Syria, you could never see your child again. It happens. Protect yourself and your child. Deceitful people to deceitful things, honest people are honest.

  • throbbingliberal

    Parents still need a signed, recently dated letter stating you as the co-parent allowed him to leave the country.

    If you have any custody rights at all that is.
    If you have no rights, she can take in divorce agreement stating sole custody and can take them anywhere.

    But things couldÔÇÖve changed this was a couple years ago.

  • purrgirl

    When a child is under 18, there is no need for a governtment ID other than traveling outside the country. Most activities (ie opening a bank account) can be completed with a school ID or even without one. State ID cards can be issued at age 15-16 if needed.

  • InternalOk8531

    I mean, he did tell you.

    He thought the child should have an ID (valid concern, all my kids have passports)

    He said he wasn’t planning any travel.

    I get the feeling that you accuse him of being “cryptic” simply to make it seem like there is something shady

  • ThenDreaPosted

    NAL- ItÔÇÖs not a bad idea for him to have a passport by now. Why not give the days that work for you? Taking care of this due diligence would benefit the. child the most. You know your child cannot leave the country without your legal consent – so just getting a passport is a far as your ex husband can go.