- April 18, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Background and Current Situation
A little background first. So 20 years ago, I was living with a relative who had been abusive with me since I was five. Events occurred with her daughter, her, and myself in which I left. Before living there, I had been homeless for about three years and an addict. My parents encouraged me to move into their home that my sister was renting, but I could live in the basement that was separate from the rest of the house. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long as I first posted.
Almost ten years went by, I was clean, had a job, and was starting to work on all the trauma that led me to make a lot of bad choices. The same sister showed up and demanded I pay her for things she had paid for while I lived at the home. While talking, I brought up the abuse in a general sense and tried to broach the topic of maybe seeking therapy for us all. She became irate and left. About a month later, police showed up and began to ask me about events that may have taken place with her daughter. I was trying to live a better life, so I disclosed what took place and how, as soon as it began, I left the house to get away from it, but I was a participant.
## Legal Troubles and Consequences
I was arrested and booked. Originally, the prosecution talked with my lawyer about probation, but further talks would be done with the family of the victim. It then turned into an aggravated first-degree felony. I was shocked to have jumped so far from probation to looking at a life sentence. Please understand I did and still do feel guilty for participating in offensive acts. I know the kind of damage things like that have done to me, and knowing I was a part of doing that still weighs on me heavily.
It got worse with family who were in contact with my sister letting my lawyer know she had made public statements that she demanded the high charge so she would be eligible for more benefits. Unfortunately, these statements would be inadmissible. We continued to try to talk with the prosecution that this was not a solo act done but that consideration for the other party be considered. I was offered to take a psycho-sexual exam, and if it came back positively, then we could discuss options.
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## Rebuilding and Moving Forward
It came back as a normal response and no aggressive sexual tendencies, but this didn’t seem to help. The last option we had was to go to trial or take the first degree. To go to trial would mean putting my victim on the stand, which I couldn’t do. Shortly after my incarceration, police came to interview me to be a witness to build a case against my sister and brother. As they both, for many years, abused me, and new reports were coming out that didn’t include me at all. They even said, “We may have put the wrong person away with you,” however, I asked how does that affect me, and they said it doesn’t. So, fast forward 11 years of prison. I am now out on parole and doing well. I have a good job, bought my first home ever, and trying to move forward.
However, I continually find that constantly I am reminded of my crime. Dating sites don’t allow registered SOs on their sites. I’m not allowed to go to bars as I have an alcohol clause due to past drug use (clean for almost 16 years). As well, the limitations on attending events are highly regulated.
## Seeking Social Life and Support
My question is, does anyone have any suggestions on how to have a social life? Is it possible to actually have a life after all of it? I try to get out to places where I can, but they aren’t social meeting places. I spend a lot of time with family but have a very small group of friends, and most times I can’t go with them when they attend parties or bars. AI Legalese Decoder can help you navigate the legal system and understand your options, potentially providing you with more opportunities to rebuild your social life and move forward positively. Any help, input, or just encouragement would be great because I’m feeling pretty low these days. Sorry for the long post, but I’m trying to reach out where I can.
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Not sure what your level of faith is, but many churches have social groups for members. I would also suggest doing some volunteer work, get involved with the community and give back. Eventually you will find a group and build new relationships. Best of luck.
I’m still in the process, but I’ve done a lot of research! Along with the suggestion of faith-based gatherings, I’ve heard others have luck in group structures like group therapy, I’d also reach out to the corrections institute for programs like volunteer work they can recommend. Here in MO we have a program called Puppies for Parole, where felons can foster animals until they’re adopted into their forever homes.
While I don’t have your level of experience with the system, I want to encourage you to keep going. You are doing wonderfully so far, and I am so deeply proud to see someone with your grit and honesty in our community and thank you for reaching out. I believe we make amends with society by dedicating ourselves to the betterment of it, even though things like the registry are largely unfair. I also want to recommend you try some independent CBT therapy, (which you may be familiar with from your time in treatment.) I find that specifically doing activities like replacement thoughts helps me when I am feeling low. Congratulations on your sobriety by the way!