- November 17, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Family Crisis: Impact of Stepfather’s Abusive Behavior on Mother and Siblings
AI Legalese Decoder can help navigate this complicated legal situation by providing guidance on the legal rights of the family members and options for removing the stepfather from power of attorney. The tool can also offer resources for ensuring the safety and well-being of the siblings, including legal options for protecting them from further abuse.
Hello! I (21F) am located in the USA, PA.
My mother had a brain tumor and is in rehabilitation. She is decently incoherent (lack of time awareness, general dysfunction, doesnÔÇÖt know where she is, definitely in the eyes of the law cannot make decisions) so my step father is power of attorney. He has tormented my whole family since theyÔÇÖve been married (10 years). He has physically abused my mother (pushing, slapping etc.). Hes abused me (drug me out of a restaurant by my hair in 2013, there was a police report but my mom wouldnÔÇÖt let me press charges). Hes also very mentally abusive (makes my brother run two miles a day even if he has games). His kids can do no wrong ofc. This is just background to the main issue.
AI Legalese Decoder can help navigate this complicated legal situation by providing guidance on the legal rights of the family members and options for removing the stepfather from power of attorney. The tool can also offer resources for ensuring the safety and well-being of the siblings, including legal options for protecting them from further abuse.
The list since sheÔÇÖs been admitted is as followed
Attempted to prevent gram from knowing information in the hospital (told nurses she was not allowed to know)
Threatened that there were cameras and microphones in every inch of the house, including bedrooms and bathrooms that mother wasnÔÇÖt aware of
Is the only one on the information list for rehab
Has screamed at sister(17) for being home 15 minutes late
Threatened to break brother (14) fingers
Will not give anyone a straightforward answer about mother condition to other family members
WouldnÔÇÖt take her to the hospital when she was visually impaired and paralyzed before her mother forced her to go
Is not allowing sleepovers
Grounded brother (14) for being home late for an extensive period (4 weeks) of time and losing a remote
Is making brother start a ÔÇ£debtÔÇØ when he asks for money ($50) for homecoming. HeÔÇÖs 14 and cannot get a job
Threatened (and now has followed through) to not let grandparents n the hospital/ban her from seeing her
IsnÔÇÖt home to buy lunch stuff to pack but wonÔÇÖt provide lunch money
WonÔÇÖt pay for haircuts
WonÔÇÖt give money for shampoo/conditioner/body wash
If mother is released will not send her to assisted living but is expected to have two people there 24/7. This is impossible because kids have school during the day. 17 and younger should not be required to take care of a physically impaired and cognitively impaired 50 year old woman going through chemo
He knew she couldnÔÇÖt see and that her speech was deteriorating and that she couldnÔÇÖt walk so he couldÔÇÖve easily taken her.. paige was the one who noticed and gram was the one who took her to the hospital
My grandparents got into a fight with him and he said that they were never allowed to see my mother again. Is this legal?
My sister wants to move out because she said (I have in writing) if she stays there she will harm herself. She wants to stay with my grandmother but is scared my stepdad will call the police and report her as a runaway and then make her life even more of a hell.
Do I have a case to remove him from power of attorney? Do I have anyway to keep my siblings safe?
I truly donÔÇÖt know what to do or even where to start.
[EDIT]
IÔÇÖm a college student graduating in May. IÔÇÖm applying to graduate school. I cannot support my siblings financially unless I get a job straight out of college. Not trying to be selfish but I want to have a career.
AI Legalese Decoder can provide information on legal aid organizations, resources for low-income individuals, and potential options for financial support for the siblings. This can help in exploring ways to ensure their well-being even as you pursue your academic and professional goals.
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****** just grabbed a
Call the cops and social services, but not before you get out. Sleep on Grandma’s floor if you have to. Go ahead and get CPS involved; there’s no telling what he’ll do to his own kids without his preferred punching bags. Contact the ombudsman at your mother’s facility and explain the situation.
Contact youth services in your state He does sound like a gem
1. Get a lawyer who specialises in elder abuse.
2. Obtain poa over mother.
3. Become a carer for younger siblings (you are legally an adult)
4. If required press charges
5. Follow all the above
This is tough, because there is a range of behavior here from shitty dad to neglect to abuse.
I’m not trying to be a jerk here, but I’m going to start by broadly categorizing the complaints you’ve listed (listing everything was a good idea). I’ll separately try to address each broad “category” of behavior here, and hopefully others can weigh in specifically with resources or options for you. [Other commenters, it might be useful to similarly try to address one category per comment]
As a general comment – “free” legal services can be hard to come by, but your situation is rife with the types of issues there ARE free resources for. Your college might have free legal aid for students (many do), many domestic violence shelters have legal counsel (the best starting place I know of is the National Domestic Violence Hotline), and of course Child Protective Services is there for your siblings. There are many more niche community services that might help as well.
Let’s start by breaking it down:
**”Normal” parenting**
Some of what you described doesn’t seem legally actionable on its own, though of course it paints a grim picture taken together, and is excellent supporting evidence for CPS. Parents have broad latitude when raising children, and being harsh is legal up to a point, even if it’s shitty.
>Is not allowing sleepovers
>
>Grounded brother (14) for being home late for an extensive period (4 weeks) of time and losing a remote
>
>Has screamed at sister(17) for being home 15 minutes late*[this could be something worse depending what was said, but a single instance of “screaming” on its own isn’t going to result in much legal action]*
>
>Is making brother start a ÔÇ£debtÔÇØ when he asks for money ($50) for homecoming. HeÔÇÖs 14 and cannot get a job*[This will not be enforceable. He has a duty to care for his stepson, and any agreement to “pay back” what he spends caring for him will result in a judge telling him to go fuck himself (in more legally accepted terms of course). He can make your brother agree, but I can’t imagine a court making your brother actually repay this debt.]*
**Within his rights as a spouse / PoA**
Unfortunately, I think he has a lot of rights in this area. He can control access to, and information about, your mother. This assumes he has sole decision making for her though – see below.
>Is the only one on the information list for rehab
>
>Attempted to prevent gram from knowing information in the hospital (told nurses she was not allowed to know)
>
>Threatened (and now has followed through) to not let grandparents n the hospital/ban her from seeing her
>
>Will not give anyone a straightforward answer about mother condition to other family members
>
>My grandparents got into a fight with him and he said that they were never allowed to see my mother again. Is this legal?
**Potential neglect of your siblings**
Failure to provide for his dependents will probably at least warrant a visit from CPS. With luck, he will step up his pathetic guardianship enough to get CPS off his back.
>IsnÔÇÖt home to buy lunch stuff to pack but wonÔÇÖt provide lunch money
>
>WonÔÇÖt pay for haircuts
>
>WonÔÇÖt give money for shampoo/conditioner/body wash
**Abuse of your siblings**
These claims are more likely to result in strong action from CPS.
Regarding moving in with the grandparents – the most pragmatic option might be to try to CONVINCE your step father to allow this. Have the grandparents invite your sister and brother for a few days. Then again for a week. Try to show him that his life is easier if he doesn’t have to worry about them. This may be complicated by his desire to have free care for your mother, but it’s worth at least trying the easy way.
>Threatened to break brother (14) fingers
>
>My sister wants to move out because she said (I have in writing) if she stays there she will harm herself. She wants to stay with my grandmother but is scared my stepdad will call the police and report her as a runaway and then make her life even more of a hell.
**Potential neglect of your mother**
I’m sorry, but I know very little about this domain pragmatically, so this will be a bit theoretical. Hopefully it still helps.
The presumption that your step father has Power of Attorney might be incorrect. This might seem pedantic: in PA the spouse has decision making authority if someone is incapacitated – but that’s not the same as Power of Attorney, which is granted in writing. So your step father has decision making authority, not Power of Attorney, which are similar but different concepts – (unless of course your mother explicitly and in writing gave him PoA).
>WouldnÔÇÖt take her to the hospital when she was visually impaired and paralyzed before her mother forced her to go
>
>If mother is released will not send her to assisted living but is expected to have two people there 24/7. This is impossible because kids have school during the day. 17 and younger should not be required to take care of a physically impaired and cognitively impaired 50 year old woman going through chemo
>
>he knew she couldnÔÇÖt see and that her speech was deteriorating and that she couldnÔÇÖt walk so he couldÔÇÖve easily taken her.. paige was the one who noticed and gram was the one who took her to the hospital
Also, if your mother had a divorce pending, then the default decision making authority does NOT go to your step father. If no divorce was pending, then PA law still seems to put you on even footing with your step father. It says the top priority for medical decision making goes to:
>(i) The spouse, unless an action for divorce is pending, and the adult children of the principal who are not the children of the spouse.
So, it seems like you have as much right to make medical decisions for your mother as your step father does. I don’t know nearly enough about PA law to say what happens if you disagree. But, it seems like you should at minimum be able to get more information about her condition: you have as much right to information impacting medical decisions about her as he does.
I would go as high up the chain of command at her hospital as possible, and let them know that a) you expect full transparency about her condition, with no information communicated to your step father that isn’t communicated to you, b) you expect to be contacted if any decision needs to be made, with a reasonable contact period before they act on any decision your step father makes and, c) that you are sorry they have to deal with this [rights or no rights, it doesn’t hurt to have the hospital staff on your side – make them like you].
If you want his rights eliminated altogether, that’s going to need a local lawyer and I can’t help you, sorry.
**Cameras**
No idea what to make of this one. At first glance it seems within his rights as a parent and homeowner to put cameras in his house, but some state law might disagree. And of course if he recorded minors, there are various laws that might make that problematic for him, depending what he recorded…
>Threatened that there were cameras and microphones in every inch of the house, including bedrooms and bathrooms that mother wasnÔÇÖt aware of
Edit: step father, not Father in Law
If he threatened to break your brothers fingers, your brother should call the police. Yes he can prevent her parents from seeing her. They can report that if the want to but there is probably nothing that can be done.
There are many homeschooling programs that have free tuition but either way, a minor is not responsible for paying for school supplies and yes a minor can be reported as a run away. Minors cannot be expected to miss school to be caretakers and they can report this to cps.
Minors are legally required to attend school or be homeschooled so that can be part of their complaint.
Call CPS and Adult protective services
loved reading your post.
That is what I think of it
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Thanks, Ely Shemer