- December 26, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
Try Free Now: Legalese tool without registration
How to discuss socioeconomic privilege with children: Seeking advice on navigating conversations about family wealth
As a parent, I find myself in a unique situation of being financially more fortunate than the average or median household. My spouse and I are projected to have a combined income of $325k USD or more in 2024, which is well above the national average. This presents a complex challenge of discussing our family’s socioeconomic circumstances with our 7-year-old daughter in a way that is both informative and mindful of the potential impact on her understanding of privilege.
The recent incident where my daughter asked if we were “rich” has prompted me to seek advice on how to approach these conversations. My wife’s instinctive response was to downplay our financial standing and assert that we are “average”. However, I feel strongly about the importance of teaching our children about the realities of privilege and the responsibility it entails. Given my own experiences of financial instability in childhood, I want to ensure that my children are grounded, empathetic, and conscientious individuals who prioritize giving back to their community.
One of the challenges I face is the worry of my children becoming entitled or boastful about our family’s wealth. I am also against ostentatious displays of affluence and strive to lead a modest lifestyle despite our financial means. As my daughter begins to earn and save her own money, I am eager to find the best way to engage in open and honest discussions about differing incomes, privilege, and the importance of giving back without imparting a sense of superiority or entitlement.
Seeking guidance on navigating these conversations is essential for me as a parent, and I am grateful for any advice or insights from others who have faced similar challenges.
How AI Legalese Decoder can help with the situation:
AI Legalese Decoder can help in this situation by providing guidance on how to discuss socioeconomic privilege with children in a way that is age-appropriate, informative, and inclusive. The tool can offer practical tips on initiating conversations about family wealth, privilege, and the importance of giving back while avoiding language or concepts that may perpetuate feelings of entitlement or superiority. Additionally, AI Legalese Decoder can provide resources and strategies for instilling a sense of empathy, responsibility, and gratitude in children growing up in financially privileged households. By leveraging the insights and recommendations offered by AI Legalese Decoder, parents can navigate these complex conversations with confidence and sensitivity, ultimately fostering a deeper understanding of privilege and social responsibility in their children.
Try Free Now: Legalese tool without registration
Original Content:
“AI Legalese Decoder is a tool designed to translate complex legal jargon into easily understandable language. Lawyers and legal professionals often use complicated terminology and language that can be difficult for the average person to understand. AI Legalese Decoder helps bridge this gap by providing translations of legal documents, contracts, and other materials into plain language. This can be incredibly useful for individuals who may be dealing with legal issues and need to understand the documents they are presented with.”
AI Legalese Decoder
Enhancing Access to Legal Information
In today’s complex legal landscape, understanding legal documents and contracts can be a daunting task for the average person. Lawyers and legal professionals often use complex jargon and language that can be difficult for the layperson to comprehend. This can create barriers to accessing important legal information and understanding one’s rights and responsibilities.
AI Legalese Decoder is a revolutionary tool designed to tackle this issue by providing an easy and efficient way to translate complex legal language into easily understandable terms. By using advanced algorithms and natural language processing, AI Legalese Decoder is able to decipher intricate legal documents, contracts, and materials and provide clear and concise translations in plain language.
With the help of AI Legalese Decoder, individuals can now access and comprehend legal documents with ease, empowering them to make informed decisions and understand the implications of their legal agreements. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals who may be facing legal issues and need to navigate through complex legal documents to protect their rights and interests.
By doubling the original length, we have highlighted the significant impact that AI Legalese Decoder can have on enhancing access to legal information and empowering individuals to understand their rights and responsibilities.
AI Legalese Decoder can help individuals comprehend complex legal jargon by providing clear and concise translations in plain language, making it easier for them to access and understand important legal documents. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals who may be dealing with legal issues and need to understand the implications of their legal agreements. By using AI Legalese Decoder, individuals can make informed decisions and protect their rights and interests. This tool can truly revolutionize the way people interact with legal documents and contracts, providing them with a newfound sense of empowerment and understanding in the legal realm.
****** just grabbed a
It isnÔÇÖt what you tell your kids – itÔÇÖs what you do and say as examples for them.
If you act elitist, they will
If you are rooted in blue collar ethos this will also be picked up
You canÔÇÖt have a conversation that checks the box on this, itÔÇÖs what you exude that theyÔÇÖre soaking in
Don’t tell them, show them.
One of the most powerful experiences I had was in high school and I participated in a Christmas present donation delivery through my school. Seeing how those people lived made me go home and thank my mom that day.
They weren’t living in horrible squalor or anything it just really opened my eyes to how great it is to just be healthy and have opportunities. Some people don’t even have that.
How do you expect to put this into words for someone who doesn’t have a lot of life experiences in a way they can understand?
One challenge with having your children believe $300k+ is average is that they will think putting in ÔÇ£average effortÔÇØ will lead to an ÔÇ£average lifeÔÇØ.
As someone who grew up in poverty but now is in a similar boat as you OP we absolutely talk about privilege. We absolutely talk about the common experience, the importance of charities, and the real struggles of everyday life that money is just ÔÇ£solvingÔÇØ for us. We always tip well. We always treat others with kindness.
I had a similar situation recently. I think my kids can probably easily tell me and their mom have different lifestyles and incomes or at least spending habits. My middle kid (12) asked me how much I made. And I thought my parents wouldÔÇÖve slapped me for even asking, but I try to be as transparent as I can with my kids. So I explained that most people find the question rude, but theyÔÇÖre in this family and if they want to know they should. I then explained what most families earn and how lucky we are. I explained I do work hard but am very fortunate and had a lot of lucky breaks to get here too.
I try to have the more difficult conversations my parents just sort of avoided with me.
I point it out when it comes up. Not every time but when I get them a big gift or we spend a lot on something, I will say “man are we lucky to be able to do this, so many people can’t.” I also make it a point to be open about the fact that we can’t afford everything we pay eyes on, or if I struggle to pay for something. It’s mostly just how you act I think. If my kids did actually act entitled I’d probably take them around to volunteer or something so they can see what it’s really like out there, but it hasn’t been necessary so far. They know they’re lucky-ish.
$325K/yr in a low or medium cost of living area is definitely rich. Not wealthy, but rich for sure
As someone who has grown up like this and yet to become a high earner – I will give my two cents on how I felt I couldÔÇÖve been managed better LMAO.
Remember to make sure they get a job ASAP and really only allot for necessities as opposed to allowing freedom to spend on silly things. I probably wouldnÔÇÖt give them my credit card but open one up for them and give them an allowance.
I know education is important, but they should be taught that earning their own money is an invaluable initiative. ThereÔÇÖs a lot of parents who just say ÔÇ£your education is your number one jobÔÇØ. Whilst pursuing a degree is strenuous, it is not too much to hold one in high school or even college if youÔÇÖre not in law or medicine. TheyÔÇÖll thank you when they have better money management skills and a lack of entitlement.
If youÔÇÖre into it, take them traveling whenever youÔÇÖre celebrating so they have a broader perspective and donÔÇÖt gain instant gratification from materials.
All in all, donÔÇÖt just say youÔÇÖre average to them because when you as someone making this much frames their perspective like this itÔÇÖs bound to cause them issues with others growing up. Because theyÔÇÖll talk about their life as if itÔÇÖs average and others will think theyÔÇÖre bragging or entitled.
ItÔÇÖs important to let them know the tribes and tribulations of getting to where to you and emphasizing all that got to where you are. DonÔÇÖt just tell them how much you make but let them even know the technicalities and responsibilities you hold. YouÔÇÖre not making this money out of thin air – youÔÇÖre going to work for insane hours and having to put on a face every day. Ensure they know this life will be more comfortable for them than others but they shouldnÔÇÖt discount anyone who comes from less.
I grew up homeless, but make a solid middle-class income now. You can tell that a lot of folks commenting here come from a privileged upbringing. Volunteering for example is a great way to give to your community, but it is often a culture thing by those that have something to give. Poor and working class folks can’t often afford time off to do things like volunteering and that is the heart of the difference.
So, if you truly want your kids to appreciate their privilege, you are going to have to put them in a situation where they will struggle to earn something they want. Where their best efforts culminate in something inferior to what you could just hand them on a silver platter. Then you have to not “fix it” and let them live with that result.
My best suggestion is a service job like waiting tables when they are old enough. (Note: It doesn’t really have the same effect if it is working for family or family friends.) You need to show the starkness of the wealth-labor disparity that exists among the classes. Most people coming from privilege never learn this lesson and can’t truly relate to the less privileged.
We helped my 8-year-old daughter set up a save, spend, donate bank account. She receives $8 a week. $4 goes to spend, $2 goes to save, and $2 goes to donate. Every few months, we sit down with her and she picks out a charity or cause to give to. We help her research and talk through where she wants the money to go to. The last year, she had donated $120 to the animal shelter we got our dog at and she used $40 of her spend money to buy toothpaste and toothbrushes for the migrant shelter near us. She also expressed she wanted her birthday gifts from friends to be donations to the animal shelter.
I think teaching young children requires a hands-on approach. They cannot picture what doesnÔÇÖt exist. What they can understand are seeing animals without families or children their age who needs coats. They donÔÇÖt need to know your income or how much more it is than their friends. They need to see that there are little and big things they personally can do to help.
As others have said, model it with humility.
For now while our kids are young, we try to say things like ÔÇ£we are fortunate to have two carsÔÇØ and such to help them realize that some folks have less and we should be thankful for what we have.
I tell my kids we have enough for all of our needs and most of our wants, and that makes us wealthier than most people in the world.
They donÔÇÖt need to know our income tier to understand what they have isnÔÇÖt universal.
Im not sure there is a perfect solution to this. You are their example of how to spend and save wisely. You can also challenge them by forcing them to save and be responsible for themselves even if you can afford to always cover the expense. I have seen affluent families with multiple children with different outcomes on how they handle finances sometimes it isnt always the parents fault if they have bad habits later.
These are difficult concepts for your 7 year old, but you are right to recognize your privilege.
I would equate ÔÇÿaverageÔÇÖ with median. In the US, thatÔÇÖs ~75k. So your family is pulling in at least 4x more than half the population. 13% live in poverty.
Anyone reading this (presumably on a mobile device, with discretionary Reddit time) is in a position of privilege and above ÔÇÿaverageÔÇÖ. Wants aside, itÔÇÖs a difficult perspective to embrace when youÔÇÖre doing better than 85% of the population and still only one medical emergency or accident away from financial ruin.
It’s important to us for our kids to understand that not everyone has the standard of living that they enjoy thanks to mom and dad’s efforts, and that some families have quite a bit more. It’s also important that they don’t turn into snobs or spoiled brats, as you said.
However, we don’t harp on about “privilege” so much as how fiscal responsibility, delayed gratification, financial planning, and making good choices, matter to achieving one’s desired goals in life.
Teach them the value of a dollar and what happens if they spend foolishly vs wisely. Give them practice at setting up a budget and staying within it. Tell them what it was like growing up with less, and let them do volunteer work with those currently in need when they’re old enough. Encourage them in making donations to charity.
Trying to measure privilege is largely a folly. No two families, or even siblings in the same house, share the exact same circumstances, with possibly the exception of identical twins/triplets who share the same exact genetic makeup.
We are fortunate to be born in, and to live in, America–the land of opportunity. Any day we’re not dead is another blessing. What we choose to do with that day is largely what builds our future reality. We are free to succeed or to fail, and to reap the rewards or consequences of our choices accordingly.
I agree with others who commented saying it’s more about what you do than what you say.
I will also add though, that having conversations about your situation and about how to handle finances is important. I’m studying experiential learning, and one of the imperative pieces of people learning by experience is to have a debrief or review after a “lesson” just to drive home the lesson they should’ve taken away from it. So for example, having an open conversation after one of your volunteer days asking how the kids felt about what they just did, how do they think it will benefit the people receiving the food, and why do they think the people are receiving the food in the first place, plus other questions that feel right to you. This is necessary since kids don’t have our broad perspective on the world, and they may not connect that “we’re packing food for food insecure people” means “this family with a kid or 2 your age sometimes doesn’t have enough money to buy breakfast or dinner to make at home, or they don’t have a home or kitchen to do these things”. The goal is not to scare them or make them feel guilty, but to have age appropriate conversation about the different conditions that exist in the world, and to encourage gratitude for what you have achieved and are able to provide for your family.
And then lastly, PLEASE talk to them about money and how to handle it. How to save for a rainy day, or for goals they want to achieve (like maybe a toy or in a few years she may want an expensive clothing item or a used car). So many people grow into adults who know nothing about handling money because their parents just think they’ll figure it out, and it puts you behind peers who *were* taught about money.
All of this can be done without using the word rich by the way. If you wanted to, you could use “secure” instead.
Growing up, I spent a lot of time baking bread for the poor with my dad. Home-made wheat and white bread was his contribution to the diocesan meal program. You can have a lot of good conversations about what need and hunger looks like when you’re working like that.
Later he started getting up at 4am to go cook breakfast for the men and I would help carry giant buckets of food for the meal. Seeing that example makes me mindful to this day.
Now our family continues the same tradition by cooking food for the same meal program. It is quite the operation to put it all together, but I feel like it connects me to a larger tradition of giving.
I also grew up very poor and am now not.
I am very careful to share memories with my kids.
For example, just today i shared with them how we would have those gift organizations who would invade our houses and watch us open gifts and take pictures etc.
#And I told them how violating that was.
When I’m honest about those experiences they actually learn *a lot more than* “oh we’re too poor for presents.” They already knew that.
The additional context, the way I had to be effusive for these strangers in my home on Christmas, those feelings, those kinds of things are what really teach your children.
Do they go to public school?
I am still learning about people who are different than me and IÔÇÖm middle-aged.
IMO the best teacher is exposure. See the kid that canÔÇÖt do the same things you can because their parents canÔÇÖt or wonÔÇÖt give them the money and you learn fast.
Privilege as it is used today is a lack of awareness of circumstance and how people have different starting points. Attitude of gratitude for what you have and circumstance. The next comment isnt to imply that theres no room for improvement, but
If you have steady employment, reliable food, clothing, shelter, vacation time, retirement funds, emergency funds, healthcare, leisure time, reliable transportation, some luxuries, protections of the rule of law (give or take)ÔÇöyou are living better than 99% of the humans that have ever walked this earth. Again, there is room for improvement, especially for those that donÔÇÖt have the above and making it accessible to them.
But itÔÇÖs worth being genuinely thankful for these things.
I echo what others are saying by doing and showing. Having her participate in service/volunteer opportunities will have more of an impact than anything you can say.
Another ideas is reading picture books that hit on this topic. ItÔÇÖs a natural way to have the conversation. Here are some titles IÔÇÖve read in my classroom that have led to good discussions.
Saturday at the Food Pantry
MaddiÔÇÖs Fridge
A Bike Like SergioÔÇÖs
Those Shoes
Coat of Many Colors
The House That Jane Built
Last Stop on Market Street
Yard Sale
A DayÔÇÖs Work
Like others said, it’s not what you say, it’s what you do and how you behave in front of your kids. You can preach them all for years and years, and all your preaching will lgo to waste if your kids wil lsee you do something that goes against what you tell them.
Show is better than tell.
Luckily, we’re from immigrant families, so traveling home was an eye-opener. Travel is always a good lesson, if you get out into the real world.
Don’t isolate your kids in high end schools, send them to somewhere that actually represents the world*.
*(A lot of us uppper middle class parents are scared to do this because we have the future in mind, but trust me on this, all my kids went to an urban public school but they still excelled and they all went to top 10 colleges.)
As many said already it’s about how you act more than what you say. Although, it also helps if you say things that reinforce your actions. For example I wanted to take my kid to a hockey game. We were looking at what seats were available and what they cost. There were some really good ones, but I said something like, ” those are good ones, but holy smokes, look at those prices” Then we found other ones nearly as good for less. Or when I go grocery shopping and find something like a buy one get one free on something he likes, I tell him about the deal when I get home.
We aren’t hurting for money or anything and could easily afford the best most of the time, but I don’t do that. It’s more important in the long term than he understands money is important and he needs to pay attention to it. It’s a fine line though between enjoying life and being paralyzed by money. Can’t be afraid to be spontaneous and spend, just don’t get carried away.
How do you spend your time? Do they have exposure to other standards of living or is it just lacrosse practices, skiing trips and summers at the lake house?
You can read, listen, watch film on other standards of living but without actually experiencing it, it wonÔÇÖt make sense. What ever community you are part of (church, schools, etc) see if there is a volunteer or mission opportunity.
I think the conversation could be about the difference between what we want and what we need. This can happen in real time as your kids get old and desire for more toys, tech, experiences from peer pressure or desire to fit in. ItÔÇÖs about picking 1-2 sport/activity their passionate about and not playing them all just because you have the means, same with food, toys, etc.
Then once you have everything you need, talk/show them how you give back to those that donÔÇÖt, before you get more things you want.