- May 1, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Understanding the Origins of Our Actions
One of the key endeavors I am undertaking in my current phase of life is delving into the reasons behind the behaviors and actions of individuals like ourselves at the time of our transgressions. Formerly a staunch advocate for the nurture side of the nature vs. nurture debate, I now find myself eschewing any allegiance to a particular ideology and instead endeavoring to view the world through an unclouded lens.
In my quest for comprehension, I am not merely seeking data; rather, I am in search of personal narratives. I yearn to hear your stories. Did your formative years unfold in notably unconventional ways, shaping the individual you became?
Allow me to share my own tale.
Within my upbringing, instances of abuse were not uncommon, a sadly characteristic aspect of prevailing norms in our society. My parents exerted stringent control over my every movement, allowing rare instances of autonomy only within the confines of the school setting. Friendship was restricted to the offspring of a select few acquaintances, as my familial circle remained limited. Immersed in the operations of the family-owned restaurant, I commenced my labor as a dishwashing apprentice at the tender age of twelve, predominantly laboring during the nocturnal hours – an effort to evade the scrutiny of regulatory authorities. In retrospect, I possess the acumen to evaluate my childhood conduct: I embodied a well-behaved nature, characterized by reticence and compliance. Perhaps overly fixated on adherence to regulations, I navigated academia with ease, seldom requiring diligent study efforts.
It wasn’t until my attainment of eighteen years that the realization dawned upon me – the abnormality of my circumstances. It has been a decade since any interaction with my progenitors or their acquaintances, with uncertainty shrouding their current existence, a matter that elicits little concern within me. My therapeutic counselor affirms the healthiness of my detachment, reassuring me of an absence of distress stemming from unresolved familial ties. In this regard, fortune smiles upon me.
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****** just grabbed a
I don’t believe nurture had anything to do with it. I think I’m just a broken person, but unfortunately I can’t be returned to the factory for repair.
Hi so when I was 3 years of age my grandfather raped and abused me, this week on until I was 9 years old and still to this day I’ve never reported it.
Growing up after that I always felt like the odd one out and detested people who were happy and this stayed with up until I was 20 when my offence happened. I must say I’m a gay man but I didn’t come out to my family until after I was from prison.
His is my offence history around the time my offence happened my best friend had just took her own life and I was the one who found her. I can’t explain how far this sent me into the depths of despair but I turned to cocaine to try and numb the pain of existing. Anyway my father had a house fire and I was helping him rebuild and redecorate, the neighbours kid who was 13 came round and we all just had a laugh. The kid started opening up and saying that he was so alone and very dark depressing stuff and because I saw myself in him at his age rather than doing the responsible thing my drug addled brain thought “Hey you can help him”!
That’s where it all started, I made a fake female account on facebook and started messaging him over a series of weeks and it went from there and before I knew it pictures were being exchanged. No one is this world can hate me more then I hate myself. We carried on seeing each other around my fathers and one day the boy came out and said “I know it’s you (meaning the fake account) but I don’t care” and that’s when he placed his hands on me in an intimate way. I must state that no physical sexual activity took place between us it was that one touch and that’s when I snapped out of the daze I had been in for months and actually reported myself to the police.
During the interview a lot of allegations came up from the boy that I was incredibly shocked at and declined such as oral sex and apparently sneaking into his house and cuddling him whilst he was asleep then he woke up to find himself in my lap. When it got to court I instantly pled guilty to incitement of an underage minor, but went not guilty on the rest which I won. Personally I didn’t want to go to trial as I didn’t want to put the kid and his family through the ordeal and I genuinely wanted to be punished for my crime.
I was sentenced to 40 months and during that first 20 months I completed several rehabilitation courses such as SOTP and numerous drug addiction rehabilitation courses. I sought out therapy I was determined to turn my prison time into a time where I could work on myself, I wanted to leave that place a much better person then I was before entering. I served 20 months and was released on license and put in a hostel when I last 5 months but ended up being recalled to prison because I started smoking weed.
That was a blessing as I realised I wasn’t ready to face the outside world yet so my last 15 months began and I began once again working on myself. I was released from prison in January 2016 and since then I came out as gay to my family and I have met the most wonderful partner who I am asking to marry me this year when I fly to Denmark this Saturday.
I’m not happy about my crime that I committed but I have to say prison changed my life and not because of the officers and anything like that it was listening to the other inmates and actually wanting to work on myself. My crime happened over 10 years ago now and the difference between me then and now is astounding.