- April 17, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Affording to Raise Kids After a Divorce
Divorce can be a financially challenging time, especially when it comes to raising kids. In Ontario, the cost of living can be high, with rent for a 1-bedroom apartment starting at $1800. If you need additional rooms for your kids, you could be looking at monthly expenses ranging from $2200 to $2400.
The average earner in Ontario makes below $70,000, making it seem nearly impossible to afford the costs associated with raising kids post-divorce. Many individuals may feel like they are destined to live in poverty following a breakup if they have children to care for.
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****** just grabbed a
I don’t have kids and I’m wondering if I can afford to just break up…
Evidence on why choosing whom you marry is the most important decision you will ever make.
I’ve been hearing more and more about the parents switching houses and the kids stay put. So then it’s one small apartment away and then the same home they were living in before the split. Seems like it’s the most affordable way. Obviously doesn’t work if the split is messy.
Sadly this is what traps people in unhealthy and unsafe relationships.
I was once told the most crippling financial decision the average couple could make was getting a divorce when there are kids in the picture. Glad it hasn’t happened to me, but I can see how bad the math works out.
My breakup happened 20 years ago when 3 bedroom homes were only $1250/mo including parking. I’d be terrified to breakup today if my finances were the same as back then.
People often stay together for the sake of their children. 40% of marriages in Canada end in divorce. But only 18% of children experience divorce in their childhood. https://publications.gc.ca/site/eng/9.908349/publication.html
What this might suggest is that parents are more likely to stay together for the sake of their children.
But to answer your question, roommates/family. I personally know of people with split custody of their children and live with roommates at home.
In a related question, how do people afford to raise kids even in a dual income household?!?
I grew up with somebody that was a single mom with two children. She had a two bedroom place and a den, so she would often sleep on a pull out bed in the living room. Her two children would each get a room. The house was always clean and it seemed they had different priorities such as education, health and so on. Kids were always studying and they were well behaved growing up. I think they just made it work with what they had. But I agree that it is more difficult for sure and not every single parent is able to make it.
We don’t. It isn’t fun. The reality is you will decide what is your stronger value- raising your child in a peaceful, stable home, or raising a child in a financially secure home. Every month, I go further into debt just paying for the absolute basics. I don’t know what the end game is financially – all I know is it gets bleaker with every month and I do my best to make sure my kid doesn’t know how crushing the weight of continuously growing debt feels like and what it’s doing to my mental health.
It’s not easy, I sold my house in my divorce and could only afford a 2 bedroom condo for my three kids and I.
They don’t.
My parents got divorced in 85. One had a decent job, one didn’t. The way that works out is neither are ok.
I didn’t have a good time. Lots of hungry days, we’d usually get 1 meal a day, no breakfast or lunch.
I got a job as soon as I could and worked full time at 15, but it was a long ten years and it kinda just got worse after.
I’m sure it’s worse now, but it wasn’t good then either
That is exactly why many suck it up and stick together until kids are older.
Not really a new thing. I grew up with a single mom and among my friends, the ones with two parent households had a way higher standard of living.
If my husband and I were to split up, I’d probably be fucked.
He’d likely be ordered to pay child and spousal support, though, as I make about half of what he does and we’d likely split custody 50/50.
Thankfully our relationship is solid and I don’t see that happening.
Single parents have always been screwed financially since the start of time. This is not something recent.
Get some bunk beds in that mf.
If it ends amicably, have enough foresight during the marriage to buy a house with a basement/ in-law suite. That way no one really needs to move out right away, they both have their own space, and the kids still have access to both parents.
Raise your kids in a studio or 1-bedroom, if you need to be in the GTA. That’s pretty much your option if you make under 100K. It’s cramped but doable; they do that in Asia all the time.
This strikes me as an insincere question when you have already voiced your conclusion along with your question.
Unless you aren’t asking as a hypothetical? In which case you should be clear about your own family situation and finances.
It’s almost like taking on the biggest joint responsibility two people can have in life is an important decision that has consequences if it doesn’t go well.
YES. Statistics show in Canada that after a divorce, the woman (usually the primary custodial parent) sees their standard of living drop DRAMATICALLY. The husband (usually) experiences an equally dramatic rise in his standard of living even if he pays support. That’s why child support and alimony are SO incredibly important. So is having your ex-partner be involved with the kids ALL the time.
My ex used to always whine that he didn’t have enough visitation time with our child. I called him and told him that I had to get groceries and run errands at the end of the week, and did he want to come over and have a few hours with her? He LITERALLY said, “Friday? I have plans, and I’m not your f*king baby-sitter.”
A few months later, he just stopped showing up for his visitation. My child received a TOTAL of $150. of child support from him in 17 years.
FIGHT for all of you and your children’s financial and physical needs.
It’s rough. For many, many years. I consider myself fortunate because when me and my ex sold our shared home, there was enough for each of us to put a down payment on our own homes. This was a few years ago before housing prices skyrocketed. But since then it has meant a lot of compromises in lifestyle just to stay afloat, for both of us.
In my case, I’m losing 1/4 of my income every month to child support. I don’t get many luxuries like vacations or house upgrades. I fear the inevitable car repair or appliance breakdown.
My ex earns less than me, so that child support is essential for keeping the kids clothed and fed. And she buys food in bulk and clothes at thrift stores.
I won’t really be out of the woods for another ten years. Financially, it really is devastating. Pretty much none of my income goes into savings right now.
Too many people expect to have the same standard of living after a breakup. A father quit making court mandated child payments because he said he couldn’t afford them. Yet he had a new half ton truck that he had to make payments on. And no he didn’t really need a truck for work
And now you understand why people might stay in marriages that are less than optimal 🙂 It’s a real thing to worry about having a roof your head or sharing resources or staying for the kids. I could have easily seen myself just sticking it out for convenience were the situation different. Maybe take over the basement of our old home and stay there. Stay in a loveless situation, but I’d have a home and kids. I come from a traditional culture, so the idea of getting along with your spouse wasn’t really a thing needed for marriage. l honestly never expected love in my marriage as it was never modeled for me.
I approached it very practically, and when some of the practicalities fell apart, so did the marriage.
If I get married again, character and love will be on the top of the menu to make it a bit more resilient.
I’m pretty fortunate as both my ex and I made ‘okay’ money. I managed to get a condo after we sold our home and it’s good enough for me and the 2 kids share a room. We’re on pretty good terms as far as things go. But yes, money is very tight. There is no more savings going on.
Yup it’s a huge problem. If you have an abusive spouse and need to leave for your safety it makes it all the harder.