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## Strained Relationship with Parents and Financial Struggles

My relationship with my parents has become increasingly strained as of late. It’s not that they are intentionally withholding tuition money, but rather I am seeking independence and distance from them.

With this shift, my options for student loans have become limited. I feel trapped, as the only way to afford tuition would be to defer a year and work during that time. However, this would mean staying at home, which goes against my efforts to break free from that environment.

I have been accepted to TMU for September 2024, but the cost is far beyond what I currently have. To cover the expenses (around $20,000 a year), I would need to work part-time throughout the year. Currently, I only have approximately $1500 saved up and qualify for minimal loan assistance.

In this challenging situation, the AI Legalese Decoder can be a valuable tool. By using this technology, I can better understand the complex legal language and requirements associated with financial aid and student loans. This knowledge can help me navigate the system more effectively and potentially access additional resources to fund my education.

Have any of you been in a similar position or do you have any advice to offer?
## Exploring Solutions and Seeking Support

I want to address the strained relationship with my parents in a constructive manner while also finding a way to finance my education at TMU. It’s clear that working part-time and deferring a year may be necessary to cover the costs, but I am hesitant to remain at home during that time.

The AI Legalese Decoder can assist me in understanding how my parents’ income affects my eligibility for student loans and financial aid. This knowledge can empower me to explore all available options and maximize my resources to meet the financial requirements of attending TMU in 2024.

As I continue to navigate this complex situation, I am open to any advice or insights from those who have faced similar challenges. Together, we can find ways to overcome obstacles and achieve our educational goals.

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View Reference


  • Exallium

    Unless you’re in danger, I would swallow your pride and work at home for the summer.

    Alternatively, ive heard some people having luck talking to the financial aid dept of their uni about their situation.

  • SeaOnions

    I had to wait until I was considered a mature student, 24 at the time, to qualify for student loans through the government. I thought my parents crappy parenting would end when I was 18, but no.

  • Severe-Grand6870

    Go to a school close to home and pay yourself. Work labour jobs during summers and part time during the year. Also do a co-op program.

  • Lumpy-Dragonfruit-28

    As someone who paid every penny for school myself because my parents didn’t have a dime… you are getting some serious boomer responses here. Paying for school is like saving for a down payment. You are no longer able to do it by working at the bootstrap factory for a few summers.

    It sounds like you might have to get a bank loan which is a shame because you are essentially lighting money on fire for no reason but if your parents really insist on you wasting your money you don’t have much choice. The system is set up assuming your parents will be smarter than they are being.

  • twotwo4

    Go talk to the financial aid office. You may / will have to jump through hoops, but should get OSAP (or whatever provincial loan you qualify for ) assuming you can substantiate it .

  • S99B88

    Maybe ask them to co-sign a loan?

    Step back and think what you’re asking here. You’ve basically come to this sub saying your parents can cover it but you don’t want them to, instead you want a no questions asked, unsecured loan, funded by the taxpayer of your province, who don’t want to give it to you because that’s reserved for people who don’t have parents able to fund them.

    If you genuinely have a terrible relationship with your parents then there are provisions for that. But if you’re just refusing their help because you’re too proud to accept their help or you want to prove something, then how does that align with then turning around and wanting the taxpayers to be the ones helping you out?

  • Rude_Veterinarian639

    I was in a similar position once. In the end, I didn’t go to school full time until I was in my late twenties and I went extreme low contact with my parents between high school and my thirties.

    Their income was too high so I didn’t qualify for a lot of stuff. Most colleges in Ontario wanted first years to live in residence with a mandatory meal plan. I couldn’t pay for any of that without loans.

    I was looking at Loyalist in Belleville. I didn’t qualify for OSAP. They wouldn’t put it in writing that they wouldn’t support me. I couldn’t get a traditional bank loan with one of them co-signing.

    Then, my parents spent the next few years berating me for working as a restaurant manager while taking night classes that I could pay for. It was embarrassing, I guess and they considered it low class work. It soured our relationship. Permanently.

    Sadly, it meant they never did get much of a relationship with my kids.

    I guess they learned a lesson tho because my younger siblings had their degrees paid for plus those guys stayed closer and they were close to those grandkids.

    I may be a little bitter over the way things worked out …

  • mararthonman59

    I would suggest you have a heart to heart discussion with them in a non confrontational manner. Their personal wealth is a detriment to your ability to get OSAP – explain that to them. The alternative is to pause ypur education until you reach the age to qualify. You can work to save some money in the meantime. Explain that option to them and the consequennces of that pause. If this is whst rheh want from you then at lwast you know that there is no help coming. You might as well not count on any inheritance when they pass as well.
    FWIW we decided to fund our children’s education so that they start work life with zero debt. They are mid 30s now and own their own homes in Toronto going on 7 years now. If we played the hard line then theh would have missed out on buying when the prices were more reasonable ( 2 bdrm downtown condo for $420K and 3 bdrm semidetached near Pape stn for $750K). They both had renters to help pay the mortgage. We are not wealthy rich but are xome common sense when it comes to helping family build wealth. I would rarher see them put some of their inheritance money to good use while we are alive.

  • DagneyElvira

    My father-in-law and his new wife were millionaires and did not give one cent for my husband’s university but told everyone they fully funded his university. Hubby couldnt get a student loan cause his dad was rich

  • StarryPenny

    Go to the school financial aid office. I believe there is a form for OSAP to declare yourself independent of your parents and then you will receive the appropriate funds for your situation.

    [This might be the form but I’m not positive.](

    [Here is more info.](

  • properproperp

    I don’t think all the people telling OP to get a job realize what the job market is like right now. If they are lucky they are gonna get a 10 hour a week part-time gig.

  • BronzeDucky

    You do the same thing that people whose parents aren’t high income do…. Get a job, put away money for education, work while going to school, get scholarships, get a student LOC or loan (you may need to wait till you’ve lived away from your parents for awhile, depending on the student loan requirements in your province).

  • Bright-Mess613

    Remember the help they gave you when they are old and return the gesture in kind when they need you.

  • Severe-Grand6870

    Do co-op school will be 5 years then but depending on your field you could make 100k over those years while in school. I made over that during my time in uni and lived at home.

  • Bynming

    You may have to work to afford your tuition, and I suppose it can be done if you have an arrangement where you don’t have to pay rent. However, given the cost of tuition, rent and everything else these days, I would say that it would be exceptionally difficult to make enough money to pay for regular expenses while being diligent with your studies.

    Being unable to get loans and not getting parental assistance in your circumstances would put your at a major disadvantage and honestly, it could undermine you in the long term. If there’s any way at all you can delay “trying to distance yourself and becoming more independent”, I would do that. Tell your parents your predicament and hope they understand. If that bridge is burned and there’s no coming back, good luck, it might be an uphill battle but it can be done.

  • KnowerOfUnknowable

    Get a loan formally from your parents. With interest and everything.

  • lovelynaturelover

    So, if parents can afford to contribute to their kids’ education, but don’t, can the kids hold them accountable? Another ridiculous ‘rule’ is that students who come from divorced parents.. well, they MUST pay for their child’s education. It becomes like a form of child support.

    This needs to change!!!

  • dashingThroughSnow12

    For me I became an independent student and that enabled me to qualify for more student loans and bursaries from the government. That and scholarships covered me.

  • misfittroy

    Put them in the worst most dodgy old folks home when they get old

  • RightAssistance23

    This was me.
    My parents were high income high debt.  Had zero interest in helping me and I did not qualify for a loan on my own.  They couldn’t co-sign because of high debt.
    I worked 3 jobs in the summers and 1 job during the year I worked 5 days a week during the school year a job with tips and it helped huge getting tips.  I had the worst sleep arrangements ever … basement of a century home it was gross!!!  And I shared it with my boyfriend.  6 of us living in a 5 bedroom house.  I didn’t eat much (food at work was free) and rarely went out.  I borrowed books for my classes from friends.  I graduated with zero debt.  I can still be a little spiteful that I didn’t get any help but I also didn’t have to pay back any loans so all my income when I graduated went straight to starting my life.
    Side note is I am saving money for my kids but won’t pay it all for them as I feel it did teach me a valuable lesson.

  • GhostSC1

    Get a full time job, move out with a friend or live in a shared room while saving for tuition.

  • MathematicianGold773

    Take a year or 2 off and work. Then when you graduate you’ll actually have real world work experience

  • HatMuseum

    My parents didn’t even have that high of an income and I couldn’t get OSAP because how much I had saved. I had worked enough to pay for 1.5 years of school but needed to get a student line of credit to cover the rest before I was eligible for OSAP.

  • OkGrapefruit4982

    Undergrad is $20k/year now!? How the fuck am I going to pay for my kid’s education in approx 15 years?!

    Anyways, my advice? Got to trade school. They make bank and have significantly less debt.

    I say this as someone who has an undergrad and a professional degree.

  • ytgnurse

    I remember when I applied for osap funding …. They asked me to input parents income but I had moved out

    By saying you have moved out from your parents house… you are no longer their dependant

    Something to do with mature student status

    This is part of adult hood having to make difficult dicisions

  • AncientBrilliant2327

    Did your parents ever contribute to your RESP?

  • SGlobal_444

    Do you already know they will not pay? Did they not set up a RESP? Do they not want to pay bc of the school/program? Or they just don’t feel it is their responsibility? Did you explain that your loan options decrease due to their income?

    Honestly, I got the max bc I had a single parent and came a from low-income family – but it totally was brutal paying back when all my friends got their tuition paid for (wealthy friends and sets your trajectory back financially).

    If you can work something out with them – I would try. Even if a loan. Or partial support.

    You can also get a bank loan vs. govt loan.

    What is the rationale if your parents DO have resources not to support any of your higher edu? Honestly asking/curious bc if my parent could have – they would have! It’s such a burden – and yes, tons of people have them – but still!

    Sometimes the university can give some financial aid – but minimal. I assume you have no scholarships.

  • LeatherOpening9751

    Is there a reason why they cannot help? Could you not take a loan from them and pay them back? How high income we talkin?

  • SkillMoist

    You get a job and work. I asked my father to help with my tuition. His response ” No one helped me, I am not about to help you “. I then applied for a student loan. Couldnt because my father made too much. Alas had to get a job. School during the day, worked 3-4 nights a week.

    Remember this. Staying at home is just a blip in time. It is not forever. It is akin to the bullshit in high school Just a blip.

    Remember the rule of five. Will what I am going thru affect me for five minutes, five hours, five days, five months, or five years ? If it will not affect you for five years, it is a blip.