- August 22, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Married for 2 years with a Daughter who is nearly a year old and another on the way. My wife is a stay at home parent (her own choice, was a qualified barrister before we had our daughter) and her sister (19) lodges with us for free whilst attending university in order to help my wife.
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I’ve just returned from a trip abroad, dead tired as I hadn’t slept well and when the taxi dropped me off my keys wouldn’t work in the door. We keep a spare set of keys round the back in the garden in one of those lockboxes so I hopped the fence to get it, it also doesn’t work and neither does the spare key for the back door. I could see my wife and her sister in the kitchen, so I knocked on the window and motioned to them to open the door for me. Her sister cracked the window open slightly and pushed a letter out and shut the window again. I kept knocking at the window before my wife held up her phone with 999 dialed, saying if I didn’t leave she’d call the police.
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I don’t really know what’s going on; the letter has some vile accusations in it and some horrid things. Saying that I’ve been doing things to her sister, that our daughter isn’t mine, that they’re tired of me hurting them all, and she wants a divorce.
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I don’t really know what to do. I’ve been away for 10 days, and communication has been normal, but we haven’t been able to speak due to the time difference. I’m just in a cafe now, and I don’t know what to do.
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I want to know my daughter’s okay, I want to sleep, shower, get changed, and all sorts of things. If it makes any difference to the answers, the house is in my name as I bought it before we got married. Does that mean I can call the police and break the door down?
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****** just grabbed a
I would go to the police myself and take the letter with you, and possibly at the same time seek some actual legal advice from a professional.
All other things aside. That’s your house, paid for before your current relationship. No one can deny you access.
I would then be asking for a paternity test and would be kicking the wifes sister out of my house.
Is there a chance your wife is having some mental breakdown with the sister egging her on? Can you not try and speak to your wife away from her and find out what has bought this on all of a sudden?
Have you had an argument with her sister shortly before you left? And this can be her being teenage and spiteful?
I feel there is a lot left out here because no one does a sudden 180 just like that and with her being pregnant she’s even more vulnerable.
Speak to the police and say you’re being denied access to your home and you’re worried about your wife and see if they will speak to her without the sister around.
Even if this gets sorted out I would refuse to be alone with the sister. Record everything when you’re around them both.
1. Go find a hotel.
2. Call a trusted friend or family member and let them know where you are and what is happening. if you can, ask someone to come and be with you.
3. Speak to your friend. Show them the letter. Don’t attempt to have a stiff upper lip. Don’t attempt to bottle up any feelings, better to get them out now.
4. Don’t drink or take any drugs, tomorrow is an important day.
5. Tell your work you will need a few days personal/ family leave. Say you can’t speak to the details right now.
6. Get some sleep. Take a sleeping pill if you can.
7. Tomorrow find a lawyer and get their advice on how to reenter your house and how to contact the Police
There is a lot going on here. The letter does seem really strange. Here are some thoughts:
1. If the accusations were true, and of a criminal nature, it would have been better for your wife to go to the police.
2. If your wife knew your daughter wasn’t biologically yours then it can only hurt future proceedings by telling you. If you’re on the birth certificate then you share parental responsibility either way,
3. Your wife didn’t run, she waited for you to return home, even if behind a locked door.
4. Your wife could have told you while you were away from the house which would been been far less confrontational.
5. Your wife could have had a bag packed for you with important documents and spare clothes, but she didn’t. She must understand that you need access to the house.
6. You don’t say who wrote the letter, but I would expect something of this nature to have come from her solicitor.
Do you have a relationship with your wife’s parents? Maybe reaching out to them, possibly through a shared neutral 3rd party to see what they understand.
It’s all very strange. Get some sleep and hopefully, tomorrow will be easier.
NAL
I would not go any further without getting both the police and a solicitor involved.
Do not, repeat do not, have any further interactions with your wife until you have done so. Don’t go anywhere near the house.
Your wife and her sister have created a narrative about you and if you threaten them in anyway, or appear to be threatening them, you will be creating problems for yourself.
Even though you’re the owner, don’t attempt to force entry to the house and don’t even get a locksmith involved. I’d say the only time you should be at the front door is accompanied by a police officer.
Your wife cannot lock you out of your own home until she has a court ordering saying she can do so (called an Occupation Order). In certain circumstances a court may award the non-owning party occupation rights to the house if it’s in the best interests of the child and with her being the primary carer this may be likely. However, she doesn’t have the Occupation Order now and as a former barrister should know better!
Before you call a locksmith and seek to renter the property think carefully… she may call the police and you will need to convince them that you don’t pose a threat and that this is a civil matter – not easy to do if you have two women alleging you have behaved inappropriately.
The best thing to do would be to terminate your SIL’s right to occupy – lodger’s do not have the same rights as tenants and as the legal owner of the property you can do so without your wife’s permission. You can then take legal action against your SIL.
God I hope this works out in the end OP
What a horrible thing to come home to.
Fingers crossed keep us posted
Has your wife suffered any symptoms of poor mental health recently? This sounds like it could possibly be a psychotic break, possibly related to the pregnancy (rare, but it does happen) – deffo call the police and mention this. I hope both you and your wife are ok and this gets resolved as painlessly as possible.
Similar happened to my friend. His wife changed the locks and made up false accusations like he tried to hit her. She was having an affair. He had to find another temporary place to stay. Definitely contact a lawyer and wish you luck.
Call the police yourself and tell them that you’ve been illegally evicted from your property that you own. Also get on to your own lawyer right now for a consultation and find out what you need to do to get ahead of the accusations in the letter.
Going on record with the police that she has attempted to illegally evict you would be a start. Ask if they can escort you into the property so you can see you daughter.
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Call the police yourself and try to gain access to your house. It’s your wife who should leave. Make sure you’re not aggressive in any way and if you can get the police to remove your wife and her sister from your house. This is looking like it will be a long process. Good luck to you especially if these allegations are false
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NAL I would also serve notice on the sister if you feel that her being there is part of the issue. Lodgers have less rights and (hopefully someone will correct me if I’m wrong) no s21 is required and they can be given reasonable notice to vacate which can be as little as a few days.
I’m very sorry
Speak to a lawyer
Call the police
Tell them exactly what has happened
Tell them it is your attention to regain access of your property by breaking in and changing the locks to the property that you own
Don’t ask if you can – tell them you are going to do it – today
Ask if they wish to be present
If you can – video yourself getting back in. If the police are not there is there a trusted friend who will come as a witness / observer?
Do not engage if she is aggressive. Do not touch her. Do not lose your temper.
Tell her you’ve equal access to your child and to your home and have spoken to a lawyer about splitting assets, divorce and your child
Wait till they are out and get a lock Smyth out. Make sure you have proof of ownership for the locksmith.
Who wrote the letter? Sounds like the sister was integral to the letter-writing at the very least. Can you ask for a conversation just with your wife to establish the full facts?
Sound like your wife want to divorce you and take your house and everything you got, and destroy your life along the way. It is not right but the system is against you, and you are not alone.
You should get a lawyer the best your money can afford and see what left of your life you can keep. Don’t get your hopes up because the cops is not on your side and the judge is not on your side.
Remember, slander is slander. If the letter contains false accusations, then you may have a case against both of them.
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Post a notice of eviction through the letterbox. Best to do these things by the book.
The police can’t do anything right now, this isn’t a police matter and you have the right to go back into your house. If you want to right now though is a different matter