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## Situation Overview

Lady, who is in her 70s, is facing a complicated situation involving her stepdaughter and grandchildren, which may result in a family feud upon her demise.

Lady’s stepdaughter, who holds a grudge against her, is the heir number one. Her oldest child, who has a good relationship with Lady, is heir number two. The stepdaughter has two more children with her current husband, who are heirs three and four, further complicating the family dynamics.

Lady’s plan is for someone from Oklahoma to attend a meeting at the lawyer’s office after her passing to read and execute her Will. The Will divides her assets equally among the heirs, with each receiving 25% of the inheritance. This arrangement is expected to upset the stepdaughter, who wants the house but the Will specifies that it must be sold and split among all heirs.

## Challenges and Concerns

The potential legal entanglement with the stepdaughter, who is seen as manipulative, raises concerns about possible challenges to the Will and disputes over the inheritance distribution. It is unclear whether resolving the situation will require extensive legal proceedings or simply signing the necessary documents.

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6 Comments

  • JerryVand

    Why would you agree to do this? Are you looking to increase your blood pressure?

  • Rgt6

    I’d hire a lawyer as executor. Pay for the lawyer from the estate. Keep out of family drama.

  • visitor987

    FL used to block executors unrelated to the person who died, who are not a resident of FL Has the Fl law been changed?

  • darkest_irish_lass

    I’m not a lawyer,just have experience to offer.

    Prepare yourself for drama. I respect you for being willing to do this to help your friend, but being an executor with a hostile family member is no joke. When I was the executor for my mom’s estate, my sister didn’t have many legal avenues but she still found ways to delay and disrupt.

    It will be demanding in terms of your personal time. Try to keep your address hidden from the family and use a burner phone for contact with them so when the job is done you don’t have to hear from them again.

    Edit

  • Sassaphras

    FYI, the “reading of the will” in the lawyer’s oak-paneled office isn’t required. It’s usually NOT done, it’s mostly for TV honestly. So unless you really want to watch the drama, skip that step.

    Also, as another comment mentioned, you may not be qualified to serve as executor in Florida, so I’d address that with your friend as well.

    The best way to make sure someone can’t challenge a will is good estate planning. I assume her will was written by a lawyer? Maybe not, if they missed the out-of-state eligibility requirements. If not, that’s step one. Online wills are fine for most folk, but if you think the will might be challenged, it might need a bit of shoring up. I’d let her know that you are concerned her stepdaughter will challenge and that you want to be prepared.

    It might also make sense to move her major assets (at minimum, the house) into a trust. That might cost some money now ($1k-$3k lawyer fees, and some filings) but could save her estate many times that amount in the future (a lawyer will look at the details and confirm this idea). Trusts are harder to dispute, skip probate, and as far as I know you could serve as executor from Oklahoma (though you might hire a lawyer to do some legwork locally). Also, you don’t mention the ages of the grandchildren, but if some of them are minors, or young adults, a trust would offer other benefits such as keeping the money from being spent all at once. A common trust stipulation is “if you challenge the estate you get $1 instead”, which can scare people off of court cases.

    I’d start by raising your concerns (odds that stepdaughter challenges and the fact that you can’t act as executor of the estate from afar) to your friend and suggesting you do a consult with a lawyer together. If she is hesitant to spend the money: it’s a LOT cheaper to get this right now, instead of having the courts fix the mess later.