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Seeking Additional Advice: The Situation with My Child’s Other Parent

I am in need of some advice regarding my current situation with my child’s other parent. I have already involved a lawyer, but I am seeking additional outside information or assistance.

The situation is quite complex and has been ongoing for nearly 2 and a half years. My child’s other parent has not seen or contacted our child in almost 6 months, except for a brief 3-hour visit before Christmas which I had to organize through their mother. Communication with my lawyer regarding parenting consent orders has also been ignored by the other parent.

Our divorce proceedings have been delayed as a result, as a judge will not sign off on the papers until the parenting order is resolved. This delay is taking a toll on my personal life, as my partner and I are looking to start a new chapter and have children of our own.

The other parent has been absent from our child’s life for a significant amount of time, with our child being primarily raised by my parents for the first 3 years. Despite the absence, our child does not express interest in seeing or speaking to the other parent.

While the other parent was not abusive towards our child, they did exhibit abusive behavior towards me, as I was a stay-at-home parent while they were the primary breadwinner. I was hesitant to report the abuse due to fear of the other parent withholding access to our child.

I am looking for advice on how to proceed with this situation, as my lawyer’s attempts to communicate with the other parent have been unsuccessful. I am seeking guidance on how to navigate this legal and emotional minefield.

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5 Comments

  • Particular-Try5584

    Spend the money, take it to court for a court ordered settlement.
    Push the process forward playing nice and doing the whole we agreed clearly isnt going to work so mediation (which sounds like it will fail) and then court orders.
    Get a psych to assess your childÔÇÖs wishes and represent that to the court too, to deal with what is fair for visitation And in the best interests of your child. DonÔÇÖt be surprised if the court orders an independent assessment as part of the process.

  • pixie347

    I agree with the previous commenter. Go ahead and start the process, mediation and then application for final parenting orders. Took me around 2 years and around 50,000 but totally worth it.

  • Alternative_Sky1380

    Violent partners are violent parents. Even if you don’t “see it”. Violent men and their defenders have sold too many DV myths that are outright lies designed purely to undermine victims of gendered violence.

    Depending on your court I would recommend you simply to avoid court as most involved in family law will protect and defend his rights to violence and continue to deny reality.

    You can seek sole parental responsibility and use a process server but be very careful about what you’re seeking as you could end up with him back in the child’s life. All evidence supports simply allowing them to disappear quietly. I’m 6 years post separation and police lawyers and judiciary have failed the children ay every stage. He’s still stalking and injuring the children but noone cares. You know the perpetrator better than anyone but stop lying to yourself that he’s a good dad or doing his best. Good dad’s aren’t violent to the mother of their children. You’re just reinforcing gendered violence by pretending that it’s your fault.

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  • evangelista_smile

    Not a lawyer but I deal with parenting orderings/family law court in my every day line of work.

    You need to start the process through mediation, Relationships Australia is a good start. Mediation attempts to keep it out of the family law court. If mediation fails you proceed with an application to flc. If your children are over the age of 10 they get their own lawyer.

    It’s a lengthy and time consuming process but necessary to ensure your children’s rights and safety are prioritised and listened to