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## Autistic Individual in Ireland and Financial Support Challenge

In Ireland, once an autistic individual turns 16, they may start receiving disability money instead of their parent. This can amount to around €80 a week, which can also be considered as unemployment benefit. However, there are cases where the individual’s parent decides to take most of the money to pay bills and only gives a portion, like €20, to the individual.

This situation can be upsetting for the individual, as they may feel entitled to more of the money. It might also seem strange that the government doesn’t continue sending the money directly to the parent. However, it is important to understand that parents often use this money to cover expenses related to the individual’s care and needs.

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**Update:** After trying to discuss the issue with their parent, the individual faced a negative reaction and emotional distress. They were accused of being selfish and greedy, which led to a confrontation and threats of cancelling the financial support.

In such cases, AI Legalese Decoder can offer guidance on how to approach difficult conversations and assert one’s rights in a respectful and constructive manner. The tool can also provide information on advocacy resources and support services available to individuals facing similar challenges. It is crucial for the individual to seek help and support during such emotionally charged situations to ensure their well-being and rights are protected.

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22 Comments

  • Sanneke34

    I don’t think it is productive. You’re not getting that money for shits and giggles, you’re disabled and very young with a future to think off where you will not be able to lean on your mom indefinitely. I would advocate with her for that money to be put into savings or spent on courses or therapy that will help you towards independence long term.
    If she is taking that money for bills, that tells me you will not be able to count on a ton of generational wealth going to you when they’re gone. As an autistic person, statistics let us know your job prospects are not good. You will need a financial buffer moving forward and this is an opportunity to build it.

  • danm14

    The amount of Disability Allowance paid to eligible over 16s in Ireland is **€232 per week**, not €80.

    This is only reduced if you (personally, not your parents) have savings of over €50,000 or income of more than €165 per week from employment.

    The amount you receive does not depend on your age (once you are over 16 and under 66), it does not depend on how severe your disability is as long as you are eligible, and it does not depend on whether you are still in school.

    When you turn 16 and start receiving Disability Allowance, if your mother insists on taking all of it and leaving you with only €20 per week “pocket money”, it is very important that you speak to an adult you trust such as a teacher in school or your doctor about it. If you don’t know who to speak to, you may wish to phone ChildLine free of charge on 1800 666 666.

    Once you turn 16, any Disability Allowance you receive is yours – not your parents. They may expect you to pay a small amount of it to them to pay for food and bills, but they cannot force you to hand it all or almost all of it over. Forcing you to hand over all or almost all of your money is a form of abuse.

  • Tilapiatitty

    This fund has been set up to support you with your disability needs. That means your mom shouldn’t use this money for bills, and you should see this money as pocket money.

    You should sit together and make a list of things that would actually help you such as coaching, medication, sport etc. 100% of that money should go to finance those activities.

  • Phasko

    When you have a child, you are responsible for it’s care and your own bills. Especially with disabilities your mother has to step up and care for you.

    The money is for your disability, not your mother’s pocket money. Especially at 16.

    If anything I would suggest a percentage of your income to go to your mother if it’s not possible to not give anything. But over 50%, would be completely insane.

  • Sudden-Possible3263

    It’s your money to pay for any extra needs you have, if your mum is on benefits she already gets money to cover rent and child benefit towards you. It’s your money not hers
    You can ask to get it paid straight in to your bank

  • MasterofDisaster_BG

    If you live in your mother’s house, use her electric, gas, food etc it’s an astonishingly good deal to be fair. Your not even going to be able to rent a room in a shed for £60 a week.

  • DaanTheBuilder

    Ask the people who give you the money.

    In my opinion €60 a week for a 16 y/o is too much.

  • No-swimming-pool

    A lot of answers below, but it’s impossible to reply without knowing what bills are paid with that money.

  • distraction_pie

    I think the best thing you can do is try and have a mature conversation with your mom about how your disability money is spent – it’s entirely possible that the reason she is asking for part of the disability money to go towards bills is because supporting your disability involves extra household costs that it makes sense to continue to be managed by the primary bill payer (e.g. dooes she buy specific more expensive groceries because you have food sensitivities, do you need the heat up high than she would otherwise budget for due to sensory needs mean you struggle with certain clothing, etc) but it is your money and you should have an understanding of how/why it is being used and be able to discuss if that is the right spending arrangement going forward.

  • Full_Traffic_3148

    Disability payments are to meet the additional costs relating to the disability.

    If your mum is providing significant care and support, then her receiving money for this is not unreasonable, especially if this reduces her ability to work, requires taxiing etc.

    Equally, with autism, there may well be additional associated costs, for example sensory issues that require certain foods or materials for clothing and bedding, it is not unreasonable to expect this money to be used for these purchases, as often these have a higher price tag attached to them.

    If she’s not in full-time education, then it’s also not unreasonable to expect general rent and utilities/groceries.

    Legally, at 16, the parents don’t have to support her financially or any other way. It’s obviously not the ideal and usually leads to the 18 discussion. But ultimately the 16yo can move, leave school, etc and the most that social services or the police would do, if the parents were concerned is a welfare call, the child would not be expected to return. So at 16, I don’t think that it’s unreasonable for her needs to continue to be met by the parents and for them to use the money to do this.

    Legally, yes she can receive it all. But there are bigger issues at play. Autism and leaving home has far bigger repercussions and implications for a person eligible for the disability benefits as there needs by default must be greater than their peers. So it’s not an even playing field to say move out at 18!

  • TheSmokingMapMaker

    Your mom is a piece of shit, I would report her to the government/police, let’s see if she still thinks she’s hot shit when she has to answer to the judge.

  • symbol1994

    financial abuse is a thing, so when your old enough to be able to look after yourself in a pinch, its best if the moeny goes straight to you.

    ​

    however , if u still live at home and mom does pay for the bills and cares for you still, then it IS reasonable to give her a significant part of the weekly amount.

    ​

    however, i would wonder does she want the money or need the money. if its want, perhaps the $ is best of with you, saving for a future cost.

    ​

    but if your mum works minimum wage job, etc, then prob help her out if u can with the $

  • exyll

    Well, I assume you live at home and that your mother cooks and cleans for you? So, seems pretty normal to pay to live at your mothers place. If you don’t agree then move out…

  • ondeugdschavuit

    It’s normal and it’s very good she even lets you have some, you have a great mom! When I started working I had to pay 300,- per month

  • SkelligWitch

    I think it’s completely reasonable. Thought If I were you I would try to negotiate to get a bit more, 20€ seems a bit low for a 16 yo with today prices.

  • SenpaiSama

    That’s probably a very welcome 80 quid while raising you. You probably have special needs or extra needs. That’s what this money is for. She’s using it to pay bills that keep you alive and houses. It’s normal. If you’re 18 and paying your own healthcare…then yes it’s yours . Until then? No.

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  • Few-Chemistry-3827

    What kind of bills are we talking here? Is it like just house bills or bills that are created due to the disability. Because on that it really depends.

    The money should be used to help your life with your disability. So if the bills she pays with it are created out of that. Then it’s completely understandable.

  • Ty0406

    is this legal in ireland. cus to me it seems she’s been pocketing disability checks for years. maybe rent would count as for the care of the child but idk. in my experience we only use disability checks for stuff for the person getting the check or savings.

    I also get the feeling she’s just putting the money on her account and buying what she needs with it (this is ofcourse an assumption and I can absolutely be wrong). I don’t know but the way she talks about it like it’s her money gives me a bad feeling. (maybe it’s just because I have seen so many people explote their disability Children.)

  • Just_Loves_Music

    Oh I can imagine this situation created an akward dynamic.
    A lot of things are getting mixed up I think, and there are details and circumstances we don’t know.

    I’m going to assume here that your parents got an x amount of money to help pay for things you need. Be that specific therapy, items like noice cancelling headphones, whatever.
    This money is being sent to you now, which gives you two things: agency and responsability. You now need to buy your own noice cancelling headphones for example, but you get to decide when to buy them or which ones. This allows you to go “what!? Are they so expensive? I’m getting cheap ones now because I always lose them…”
    (I’m not saying this is you, it’s just a random example).

    So what I assume should have happened is your mother sitting down with you and explaining to you where that money used to go to, help you pay for things and show you how she does that, explain choices that she made and how you can do that together for now so that you can slowly get used to making decisions about your own needs and healthcare etc.

    But this is all assuming the money was clearly earmarked in your parents expenses all this time and that it’s very clear what it’s being spent on as seperate things from the regular bills (housing, food, electricity, etc).
    What might have happened is either one of these two things:
    1. Your needs ask for expenses that are not very seperate from those bills. Food she buys because you like it, you taking long baths after stressfull days, going on random car rides together to unwind, stuff that just makes their regular bills a bit higher and differentiating those is really difficult. You inquiring if you can have that money instead of adding it to the general pile of income might make your mother feel like you don’t realise this and made her feel upset. (She should have managed that better, but if she’s usually a nice person then she may have just had a crappy day that day or something)
    2. You don’t really have needs that require that money and your parents are just used to that income to pay for general bills. That stream of income dissapearing is either annoying if they are reasonably well off or stressfull if money is very tight. If the latter is the case then maybe you should contribute to the household to help the family out, if money isn’t desperately needed then they should get over themselves 😉

    Also, I don’t know how you are, what your needs are and how easy it is for you to do things independently, so another possibility is your mother just being protective. No idea how justified that is and she should have been better at explaining that anyway.

    Long story, but I hope this helps figuring out what happened in your specific case and that you and your mother work things out.