- April 23, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Living Situation and Financial Struggle in New York
### Current Situation
I (20M) and my stepbrother (23M) live with our stepmother (60F) in New York. Despite having disabling conditions, we are not receiving government benefits aside from SNAP. The financial burden is increasing rapidly, with our mother’s actions pushing us towards homelessness.
### Brother’s Settlement and Work Situation
Recently, my brother received a court settlement from a car accident that caused his disability, making him ineligible for benefits. I have been working in a warehouse for 25 hours a week for the past 6 months, despite a debilitating spinal condition, to make ends meet. Together with my brother spending his settlement money, we have been barely managing to pay the bills.
### Mother’s Employment and Health
Our mother was working until February 2023 when she lost her job. She exhausted her unemployment benefits and now owes the government money. Despite her deteriorating health (nearly 400 pounds at 5’6, unable to stand for long periods or walk without difficulty), she has not seen a doctor in five years. She refuses to apply for disability due to her aversion to medical visits.
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You can’t make your mother do anything. Your mother is making choices that are not in her own, yours, or your brother’s best interest.
It’s time to look out for you and do what you can to improve your situation. I suggest contacting your Vocational Rehabilitation to help you (and your brother if he has a disability and wants help) find work that you can do that is not going to make your health worse. They can do
assessments and evaluations to determine the severity of your impairments and the work that you can do. They can provide services to help with your ability to work like medical treatments, therapy, job training, etc. If they don’t think you can work enough to earn SGA of $1550 a month for at least a year, your records from there can help prove eligibility for disability.
I would suggest Voc Rehab for yourself and brother. Your mother isn’t going to change and she’ll never get disability because she refuses to see a doctor. You need to take care of yourself first – she’s done this to herself. Best of luck
Depending on if you live in a large city, there are mobile crisis teams that can come out and assess your mom. Let us know where you live so we can assist. And the recommendations for Voc Rehab are spot on. Call them to make an appointment.
One option to at least look into is Job Corps. Provides vocational training, sometimes lodging, for individuals under age 25.
[https://www.jobcorps.gov/](https://www.jobcorps.gov/)
Like others have said, you can’t make your mother do anything. All you can do is not enable her, not assist her in her bad decision making. That may require moving away, which is scary and she won’t like it if she loses your financial support, but maybe the right thing to do for you.
Actually filing for SSI (disabled poor) and SSDI (disabled workers) is not that difficult (and if you do, be sure to apply for both and let SSA figure out if you meet the criteria or not). Getting approved, however, is not simple. You have to have substantial medical records and those medical records have to show that you or your brother are mentally and physically not capable of engaging in SGA, which is mostly defined by the dollar amount of money you can earn.
It can also be a very long process and less than half of the individuals who apply are approved.
Your brother’s settlement balance could affect his eligibility for SSI since it is a welfare program. But his settlement won’t last forever. Some resources, like one car of any value, are excluded from resources. He could also look into an ABLE account for this money. It also has restrictions, but the ABLE is excluded from SSI resources. If he has ever worked in two different calendar years, he MIGHT have just enough credits for SSDI. If he never worked, then SSDI is not an option for you. Your job could affect your eligibility for both SSI and SSDI.
https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/spotlights/spot-able.html
Do either of you have a deceased father or one who is currently getting Social Security retirement or Social Security disability? If so, it is possible that Disabled Adult Child benefits are payable, but only if the parent is deceased or getting benefits AND earned enough money in their working years and it can be proven that you were disabled before age 22. Lots of rules. If your mother passed away or filed for retirement at age 62 or ever decides to file for disability, and she had enough of a lifetime work history, then your brother might qualify on her Social Security record.
Both of you need to keep seeing doctors in order to document your medical issues. Apply for Medicaid if you haven’t done so yet.
Start reading here. Be sure to open your own MySSA to review your lifetime earnings. Both you and your brother.
[https://www.ssa.gov/disability/disability.html](https://www.ssa.gov/disability/disability.html)
Your mother needs to lose weight. And you can’t force her to do that. It’s really sad when people neglect their health line that.
I wish I knew more but NY has a plan where individuals can be paid to take care of disabled family members. I know a young woman who is taking care of her brother and she receives about $15/hour. The program precludes full time but it still pays enough for her to get by with the help of the rest of the family.
I wish more states had programs like this.
My brother went through a situation with receiving a foreclosure on his home. She said when the foreclosure is received there should be information on it to instruct on whom to contact to try to save the home. It’s time sensitive. She shouldn’t be afraid to call. I called for my brother in his county and the lady informed us that there is a certified finance person that he had to meet with in person to discuss his finances and such. They deal with the mortgage company.
He met with the finance lady and then received a quick phone email of 3 questions then he was in formed within 2-4 weeks of his approval. He was able to restart his mortgage payments after not paying since last May (5/2023). His first payment was due today (4/1/24).
Confusing
If you’re on a lease, you don’t get foreclosed on.
Mom should apply for SSI or SSDI.
Talk to a local senior center about your options; she may need to be sectioned for treatment.
Can your brother use what’s left of the settlement money to halt the foreclosure? You make really good points about living with your family being cheaper than moving out to live on your own, also you’re right in that it’s a good idea to hang on to the property if at all possible. Mortgage rates are insane these days even for people with perfect credit, in addition to the market continuing to be so inflated.
Regarding your mom’s health, it’s true that you can’t make her do anything. But there’s more than one way to skin a duck. Has she experienced a trauma surrounding going to see a doctor? I would try a less direct approach. Mention therapy or maybe speaking with a Counselour. Perhaps seeing a counselor yourself and inviting your mom in on the sessions could be effective.