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## Personal Background and Current Challenges

I am a 41-year-old individual who has been actively in the workforce since the age of 15. Approximately six years ago, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD, and there is a possibility that I may also be on the autism spectrum, as my three-year-old son has received a diagnosis. While the presence of these conditions may not be the primary factor, I have noticed similarities in symptoms between myself and my son.

## Professional History and Current Struggles

After spending a decade at my previous job, I had to make the difficult decision to leave about a year ago due to experiencing panic attacks. Although I was well-liked by my colleagues, the position I held carried significant support needs and high levels of liability and risk. I was fortunate to secure a similar role at a more supportive company. However, I find myself increasingly struggling to navigate through work and everyday life. Stress is particularly challenging for me to manage, and I often rely on established routines to cope with daily challenges.

## Family Dynamics and Financial Concerns

As the primary breadwinner in my family, I am beginning to realize that my current situation may not be sustainable in the long run. With my wife choosing to stay at home to care for our child, the financial burden falls primarily on me. While I have suggested switching roles to alleviate some of the pressure, my wife lacks job experience, and even securing a job that pays significantly less than my current income would be a challenge for her.

## Seeking Help and Overcoming Obstacles

In the past, I believed that taking a break would allow me to regain my former self. However, I have yet to take that necessary step, and the fear of being permanently impacted by my current struggles looms large. Despite recognizing the need for treatment or a change in direction, my busy work schedule often impedes my ability to seek help or make significant changes.

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View Reference


  • ziggy-Bandicoot

    If you’re not getting treatment and you keep working you will not be approved for SSDI.

  • BeatsMeByDre

    As a mental health case manager, I recommend Googling (your area) “mental health case management.” You are exactly the kind of person we help.

  • No-Stress-5285

    It is sad that your wife won’t take on a new role in your marriage at this point. If you are correct about not being able to work another ten years, she will be in a world of hurt because the two of you may be broke at age 51. And a break might do you good, if you can afford to take one and hope you get your old job back or something similar if your employer doesn’t want to hire you back.

    Is she not capable of learning a skill or trade that would be a marketable that an employer would pay her to do? Has she ever tried? Does she have a disabling condition as well? What is her plan in case something happens to you? You should at least open a MySSA at for both of you and look at your potential SSDI benefit and how much she and the child could also get, so at least she has an idea of how much less money the family will have when you can’t drag yourself to work any more. And then after the child turns 18, she will have to wait until she is 62 to even get a reduced retirement benefit. That could be a large number of years with almost no money and then a small bump when she gets older.

    Unless, of course, you have some other kinds of wealth and significant amounts of assets.

    Your autism didn’t stop you from working from age 15 to age 41. So even if you are correct in your self-diagnosis, the autism did not prevent you from working. So for SSA, that condition is not disabling, at least not yet.

    Some disabled children from poor families can get SSI for their disabilities. But you may be earning too much.

    Since you really believe that your condition is getting worse over time, you are really doing yourself and your potential SSDI claim some day a serious disservice. When you are ready to file, you will need about two years of ongoing treatment notes and failed therapies for SSA to find you disabled. Find time for some treatment. One monthly telephone visit to a therapist on your lunch hour at least. Your word will not be enough.

    You may want to look at the SSDI amounts for yourself and your family members and start trying to live on that budget now, while paying more money on the house mortgage and investing more money in safer investments so at least you and she will know how difficult it would be to live on only the SSDI amounts if she refused to pitch in and help be part of the family income support system. If the house is so important to you, change up your budget so you pay it off fast. Reduce expenses elsewhere. Pay off all debt. Save as much as you can for the lean years when you can’t work and she won’t work.

  • Successful_Ad3483

    This sounds harsh but get some treatment with therapy and keep on working.   Your kid needs you my sister is autistic and we grew up in poverty not getting her the right treatment at an early age made it worse.  My dad worked but made very little money.  

  • thatsaSagittarius

    I think you need to try treatment while working first. There are many telehealth programs that cater to busy and odd hours – I have therapist treatment on weekends for instance. Regardless of conditions, if there is no treatment it’s a denial.

  • Ashluvsburritos

    Without ANY treatment, especially within the last two years, you are going to be denied.

    If you’ve been working, especially the last two years, and plan to continue working through out the very lengthy application and appeal process (mental health is tricky. It took me 4 years).

    Disability isn’t just a “break” from work. It’s a program to help people who aren’t not able to function working a job.

    Even in the bizzaro world you do get approved… you won’t bring in enough to take care of a family. My benefits are around $1000 a month.

    Could you possibly go on FMLA and do some type of 30 day inpatient treatment and following up with intense outpatient so you can at least get yourself in a better place?

  • Copper0721

    Be careful. I’m a single mom so I was the sole financial support for my 2 kids. I started getting sick but pushed through it for several years because I had no other choice (no spouse or partner to pick up the slack). I literally crashed one day. Ended up in the hospital and never went back to work. Now I was fortunate to have a physical condition that was well documented with multiple attempts at failed treatments and I was approved for SSDI 30 days after applying at age 45. But my experience is rare. The norm is 2-3 years and at least 1-2 denials to get approved.

    I would tell your wife she may not have a choice but to go to work or be homeless with you & her kids when you can no longer work. I’m not sure I could love someone who had such a blatant disregard for my health, and I sure as heck couldn’t stay married to such a person.

  • ObligationNo3022

    Going to be an uphill battle at your younger age, just one diagnosis and it being mental health, no treatment and still working full time.

    I don’t think you can get approved if you apply while working full time and making enough to support a family of 3.

    That being said I’m so sorry what you are going through. I know it’s not advice you were looking for but Is it possible to do online therapy? I was able to find both an online therapist and psychiatrist that have weekend hours. Don’t even have to leave the house. Perhaps with the right therapy/medication combination you would feel much better.

    Would another possibly be for your wife to just find a part time job so you can cut down on hours for a while to have more time to work on yourself?

  • 4eyedbuzzard

    While it’s not what you want to hear, here’s one of the better determination (approval/disapproval) explanations that I have found [](

    Honestly, given the realities of what it takes to get approved for SSDI in any reasonable amount of time (typically a year or two but then only IF you meet the approval matrix AND have medical documentation AND all goes well) you should seek treatment and therapy while you’re working and try to make your life as good as you can for yourself. Just being completely honest.

  • Votesok

    Two similar jobs, both causing stress that made you contemplate disability. Maybe look outside your current industry for something flexible.

  • jbeve10

    First tell your wife to stop be lazy and get a job or you’ll fire for divorce. That tends to get lazy people to start doing something

  • MbRn37

    I think you would have a tough time being approved at 41.
    Do you see a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist, etc? Regularly? Do you take Medication?
    Medical records are what you would need to get started.

    Maybe your wife could try a part time job for a bit to gain experience and confidence and help take some pressure off of you. Give you some time to treat your mental health issues.
    Good Luck.

  • Silverstacker63

    I wouldn’t count on it. You have been working at seems a pretty stable work history. You would need some pretty good medical records and not be working and even then it would be an uphill climb.your pretty young to.

  • Accomplished_Tour481

    May I respectfully ask?

    You claim to be suffering PTSD for 6 years ago, but have been able to work since then and support a family (suggesting SGA activity). What has changed recently that now you are disabled?

    Your chances are very little none based on your reply.

  • ConvivialKat

    I find it fairly disturbing that your wife isn’t taking some of this burden off your shoulders. Just saying that she doesn’t want to work is unacceptable. If you are surviving on one full-time income, then surely you can survive on two part-time incomes. Working part-time might really help you to reduce your stress levels and allow you to seek therapeutic help that could ultimately lead to a firm diagnosis to help you get on disability – even if it short term state disability.