- April 23, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Situation in the GTA, Ontario
This traumatic event took place in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) in Ontario. The specific location within the vicinity of Mississauga, Oakville, or Burlington is not disclosed out of fear for personal safety. This account is separate from the usual one, indicating a level of caution and anonymity being maintained. The individual is currently grappling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) stemming from a sexual assault that occurred four years ago.
## Details of the Assault
Despite knowing that seeking medical help after the rape was the right course of action, the person refrained from doing so due to the perpetrator being a former boyfriend. During the assault, the individual froze after voicing their refusal, and the assailant later justified his actions by claiming it was a part of a “fantasy” and because no physical resistance was offered. The aftermath of the assault included the perpetrator acknowledging the victim’s denial, but dismissing it as inconsequential.
The assailant resided with his parents, and fear of repercussions inhibited the victim from raising their voice. The perpetrator had previously disclosed another rape accusation made against him, a piece of information that raises concerns about his behavior and patterns of misconduct.
## Seeking Legal Advice
Given the absence of a rape kit and tangible evidence, the victim questions the viability of pursuing legal action against the perpetrator. The emotional toll of the assault has left the individual grappling with depression and ongoing trauma, with the added burden of understanding the challenges in proving a rape case. It is a complex and distressing situation that requires careful navigation and support.
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****** just grabbed a
If you still have that text message it would go a long way. One thing I would suggest is reaching out to a rape crisis center. They can help you navigate and also sometimes offer therapy. Having a therapist for just this issue can help a lot.
Yes. Historical sexual assault cases with no sexual assault evidence kits are incredibly common.
You can go to the police, there is no guarantee that they will pursue it as the police cannot be forced to investigate matters, but because of a shift in policy over the last decade these cases are not at all uncommon, and it’s not at all uncommon for there to be charges laid.
If you choose to go to the police DO advise them of this other complainant that he spoke to you about, BUT DO NOT try to find this person. From the defence perspective these cases become significantly easier to defend where complainants contact one another.
I’m sorry this happened to you, and I apologize if my language is upsetting in any way. I know this is “routine” for me but very much not routine for you, so please understand I am not trying to upset you in any way.
If you have any further questions feel free to ask, but do know that we are limited in what we can do for you here by the nature of the forum.
Edit: to be clear neither of those things he listed are a defence for him in any way. The bar for consent in Canada is incredibly high: ongoing and enthusiastic consent. Freezing is not at all unusual behavior.
I’m sorry that this happened to you; it’s not OK, it’s not your fault, and no reasoning he can give changes that. I don’t know anything about the legalities of the situation, I’m just here to leave these resources in case you might want the information now or ever in the future:
1. SAVIS of Halton: https://www.savisofhalton.org/
– Free professional counselling for persons in Halton Region (Burlington/Oakville) who have experienced sexual violence
2. Peel Hope 24/7: https://www.hope247.ca/clinical-services
-non profit counselling and other programs for persons who have experienced relationship and sexual violence in Peel Region
Report it. Nothing might happen but if you’re struggling with this and want to see him face consequences, report it.
I am so, so sorry this happened to you. It’s tragic, and it’s totally understandable that you’d be feeling the way you are now. I hope you have the support, resources, and love you need to heal! NAL, but I definitely think you should press charges. Like a previous commenter mentioned, absolutely do **not** contact the other person he assaulted. Refraining from doing so will go will really aid your legal case. Do you still have the text from him admitting that you didn’t consent? (Update: I just read that you do! Amazing.) It sounds to me like you have a super strong case. Ultimately, taking legal action might be an enormous headache at best, and deeply triggering (and expensive) at worst, and it’s a fight you shouldn’t have to be in — but it could help bring true closure, support your healing process, and prevent this absolute fuck from harming someone else. Sending love.
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He most likely has victimized other people.. if there was two there is more. Crime doesn’t stop by itself it needs consequences.
Coming from a person with a background in psychology, I need to make this very clear. YOU IN NO WAY HAVE/HAD A MORAL OBLIGATION TO REPORT ANYTHING TO THE POLICE. YOU IN NO WAY HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO GET A RAPE KIT DONE AT THE HOSPITAL. JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDNT KICK AND SCREAM DOESNT MEAN YOU DID ANYTHING WRONG.
OP, you did the absolute best thing for you at the time. Your body froze as its way to protect itself. It is also quite common to have people choose not to get a rape kit done at the hospital because they don’t want to cause trouble or be disbelieved. I would highly recommend finding a therapist specialized in sexual assault or PTSD to help you through the process of reporting if that’s what you choose to do going forward.
I saw that you still had text messages and screen recordings, so those will probably help as evidence if you choose to report. The police may still not be able to move forward with your case for a variety of reasons, but if you show them your evidence they may be more likely to pursue charges. It is not at all uncommon for people to report months or years later, and there are many cases where the perpetrator was eventually convicted.
Whether they are able to move forward with your case or not, you will probably need support from a mental health professional. I’m sorry that this happened to you, I hope that you’re able to find the healing that you need.
Nail this prick to the wall because he’ll do it again
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If you have those text messages saved then I think it’s worth reporting at least.
Best of luck.
Report! Any evidence you have will help. I hope you recover from the depression and trauma. That dude is below scum.
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> He texted with me after and admitted that I said no but claimed it was fine because of:
A confession is as close to a legal slam dunk as it gets, what an idiot.
Physical evidence of intercourse(rape kit) is not always necessary. Especially considering the text evidence.
If you’re willing to spend the time to go through the process then there’s likely a good chance of obtaining a conviction. And as others have said you can mention the name of the other victim to the police, but do not contact her yourself, since that could undermine your credibility.
Good luck.
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It doesn’t expire and you have evidence. Go to court
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Do you still have that text by any chance? That could prove very helpful to you.
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I am sorry this happened to you 🤍
Call a personal injury lawyer. Even if criminal charges are not possible, you may be able to bring a civil suit.
Both Peel & Halton have CASA Units (Child & Sexual Assault) that are staffed by very experienced competent investigators. Contact them directly and set up an appointment for you meet with them and discuss this matter.
Halton [905-825-4777 ext. 8970](tel:9058254777,8970)
Peel 905-453-2121 ext. 3460
Your ex’s excuses for raping hold no water all at. Consent is implicit; it cannot be implied.
Any digital evidence you have (ie the text message) bring with you.
If you confided in any of your friends about this then disclose that.
Provide them with the name of the former girlfriend who your ex also admitted to raping. Even with just a first name the police will likely be able to track her down. They can check their local records for occurrences involving your ex where the girlfriend was present.
Firstly, we believe you. Secondly, you should do what you want to do about it. If you think you want to report it, report it. If you don’t, don’t. I think it would be good to get it on record, but I’m not the victim of the rape so I can’t know how you feel about it.
Thirdly, if you have the means to do so, seek out counselling and how best to deal with it.
So sorry you are dealing with this. I can personally vouch for TRCC if you need to talk about this more before figuring out next steps. Its completely run by fellow survivors [TRCC](https://trccmwar.ca/)
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I am so so sorry this happened to you.
I’ll warn you that the legal system can be more traumatizing than the assault. People said that to me and I didn’t really know what that meant… I was trying to do the right thing by coming forward and telling my story. During the court process cops lied to me and treated me like dirt, sure, but the really traumatizing part was being cross examined. Their lawyer can basically say whatever they want to you they can say you made the whole thing up, if you have people who come testify on your behalf their lawyer will try to spin it as collusion, they can accuse you of really anything up there and you’ll get answers wrong because it can be hard to remember things over time and through trauma and their lawyer will notice and make a big deal out of your wrong answers. It’s really tough being cross examined like that for hours.. it was so stressful I got severe PTSD from the court experience even though I didn’t have PTSD after the SA.
Yes you have a case. Call the police department in the city it happened in and indicate you need to make a statement. You can still do a sexual assault kit at a hospital (Nina’s place) up to 12 days after an assault.
I’m sorry this happened to you OP, no means no, and your reaction to the situation was human and normal. Please take all the time you need and report this incident to your local police when you feel ready.
SA can be reported at anytime, regardless of the time period. Do not let that discourage you! — I’ve seen cases 10 years after the fact with a conviction.
You deserve justice and assistance in order to heal and overcome this unfortunate event.
I wish you well ❤️
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I’m so so sorry this happened to you. Freezing is a normal response to a dangerous situation where you simply need to survive. I have no legal advice to give, I wish I did, and hope others here can guide you. I hope that you can heal from this trauma and that you can find support.
So sorry you’re going through this. Wishing you all the best ❤️❤️
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