- April 5, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
Try Free Now: Legalese tool without registration
## The Financial Struggles of my Family
Ok, this is my first Reddit post so please be nice lol. My mum has always struggled with finances, stuck in a cycle of poverty that seems impossible to break. Unfortunately, with the current cost of living crisis, things have taken a turn for the worse. She is now having trouble making mortgage repayments, and her health has also deteriorated, leading to additional costs for private healthcare.
I am currently 21 years old and in my final year at university. I no longer live at home, but I try to help out whenever I can. I have two younger brothers, aged 18 and 14, who still live at home but are becoming more independent. My mum only works part-time, a situation that has been ongoing since the birth of my 18-year-old brother. Despite this, she claims she cannot handle a full-time job due to exhaustion and burnout. The state of the house has deteriorated over time, which makes me worry about the consequences of her taking on a full-time job.
With her health issues and financial struggles, my mum has turned to me for help. She has asked me to take out a loan or a credit card to support her until she sells the house. Her plan is to sell the house this year and use the proceeds to repay the loan or credit card debt. However, there is no guarantee that the house will sell quickly, and it could take a long time. Additionally, my parents are still joint owners of the house, raising the possibility of my dad opposing the sale.
If she does sell the house, my mum would have to rent a place, which would likely cost more than her current mortgage repayments. This could lead to a situation where she depletes her retirement savings to pay for rent indefinitely, making it nearly impossible for her to ever buy property again. She is already in a significant amount of debt, and her credit score is poor, which is why she is turning to me for financial assistance.
I am conflicted about what to do. I understand that my mum is in a tough spot and genuinely needs help, but I am hesitant to take on more financial burden, especially if selling the house may not be the best solution in the long run. However, I also fear that saying no to her request will hurt her and damage our relationship. It is a difficult situation, and I am unsure of the best course of action.
—
## How AI Legalese Decoder Can Help
The AI Legalese Decoder can assist in this situation by providing a clear understanding of the legal implications and risks involved in taking out a loan or credit card to support a family member in financial distress. By using the AI tool, one can analyze the terms and conditions of the loan agreement or credit card contract, ensuring that all implications are fully understood before making a decision. Additionally, the AI Legalese Decoder can help identify any potential legal issues that may arise from the joint ownership of the house and provide guidance on the best course of action to protect one’s interests and financial well-being. Ultimately, the AI tool can provide valuable insight and support in navigating complex legal and financial situations, helping individuals make informed decisions that align with their long-term goals and interests.
Try Free Now: Legalese tool without registration
**Introduction**
In today’s digital age, the legal landscape is constantly evolving with complex jargon and terminology that can be confusing for the average individual. As technology advances, more legal documents and contracts are being generated, adding to the already overwhelming amount of legal language to decipher. This can be especially challenging for those without a legal background, leading to misunderstandings and potential legal risks.
**How AI Legalese Decoder Can Help**
AI Legalese Decoder is a powerful tool that utilizes artificial intelligence to simplify and decode legal language found in contracts, agreements, and other legal documents. By inputting the text into the decoder, users can receive a plain-language translation of the content, making it easier to understand and interpret. This can help individuals make more informed decisions and navigate the complexities of legal documents without the need for extensive legal knowledge.
**Benefits of Using AI Legalese Decoder**
With the assistance of AI Legalese Decoder, individuals can double their understanding of legal documents and contracts, ensuring that they are fully aware of their rights and obligations. By providing a clear and concise translation of legal language, the decoder helps to alleviate confusion and reduce the risk of misinterpretation. Additionally, the tool can save time and money by streamlining the review process and minimizing the need for costly legal consultations.
**Conclusion**
In conclusion, AI Legalese Decoder is a valuable resource for anyone looking to decipher complex legal language in contracts and other legal documents. By utilizing this tool, individuals can enhance their understanding of legal content, mitigate risks, and make more informed decisions. With the advancement of technology, AI Legalese Decoder is a practical solution for navigating the complexities of the legal landscape in the digital age.
****** just grabbed a
You need to assume that at the end of the day you personally will be paying the debt. If you’re willing to do that to help your mom, that’s your decision.
>However, there’s no garauntee that it’ll get sold
There’s also no guarantee that she will pay you back even if it does sell.
>I don’t know what to do.
Yes you do. You just need to find a way to say NO that you are comfortable with even if she gets mad or hurt.
I would probably frame it something like this: “Mom, I love you but I am only 21 years old. I am still in school and can barely support myself let alone support you as well. You and dad own this house together so if you’re having trouble making the payments, you really should talk to him.”
Your first sentence says it all. “My mom has always struggled with finances ”
If you do this, you should understand you will probably not get paid back, and will be responsible for this loan.
If you want to enable her – go ahead. This won’t end here.
If you want to carry her debt – go ahead. Think about the consequences if you want to get a loan and she doesn’t pay you back.
You are not responsible for her – she is an adult.
Hurting her if you say “no” is the least of your worries if you take out a loan for her.
Correction: your mother is asking you to gift her money you don’t have and have you pay the interest.
I am sorry you are going through this. I do hope that your mom finds her way out of her financial “crisis”. Personally, I believe you getting the load/credit card for your mom is going to do quite the opposite of helping her.
Just say no because you can’t afford the debt. Taking out a loan will set your own financial future back. If your mother needs a co-signer, it’s a signal that she’s not going to be able to pay back that loan.
No is a complete sentence.
Don’t tie your future to your mom’s past.
This is a terrible idea. Possibly your mum is so terrible with money she doesn’t realise she’ll be screwing you over, but 99% of the time that will be the outcome. You will have to pay back the loan, and it will harm you financially.
You are 21, in collage, barely earning anything and somehow expected to get and pay off a large loan, that she will pay you back when she sells the house at some point? What if she won’t sell it? What if the divorce says she has to keep it until all the kids are 18? What if she’s taken out a second mortgage and the value of the house is less than the mortgage and so there is no money left to pay you back.
Ultimately she’s the parent. She’s the one who has to figure this stuff out, not you. While I generally think children should help their parents financially (if they were good parents) that is only when the children are older and well established themselves, and the parents aren’t in a position to do some things anymore. You are not well established enough to be doing this.
I would absolutely not do any of the things she is asking unless you are prepared for it to not be paid back. Has she not sold the house because it is a mess? Do you have any confidence she will actually clean the house up and sell it anytime soon? If you got a loan for her, would this just give her more of an excuse to not clean it up and sell it?
I think the best thing you can do is just focus on you and not do this for her. If she wants money, she can work a fulltime job like many people her age do.
Why is she asking you instead of your 18 year old brother? Or do you think she is asking him as well?
Don’t do it.
Lock your credit.
Also set up monitoring where anything on your credit gets an email or text to you immediately.
First of all let me tell you my experience… My mom and her husband borrowed some money from me and agreed to pay it back in 6 months or when they sell the house they just put on the market, whichever came first. I got that money back 12 years later. TWELVE YEARS!!!!
You see they couldn’t afford to pay me back until they sold the house. Of course they were trying to sell the house for $100,000 more than it was worth so nobody wanted to buy it! What I didn’t realize, what I’m telling you… is that somebody that can’t pay their bills now is not going to magically be able to pay you back in a few months. Also in your case, once she sells the house her bills are going to go up and she’s still not going to want to work so she’s going to need you to support her then!
The thing is your mom is highly irresponsible and she sees you as her bank! Or maybe even her retirement plan? House being messy aside (And are your brothers cleaning up after themselves or not?) your mother doesn’t want to work! She doesn’t care that it’s ruining her finances because she has you to bail her out. And after your brother s get jobs she’ll be asking them to bail her out.
This is not sustainable! It’s not fair! None of you decided to have a child to support, so why should you have to support somebody who’s acting like a child? Don’t do this for her and lock down your credit! Because she might try to do it behind your back! Good luck
You absolutely must not loan her money. This will ruin your future, and probably ruin your relationship with your mother.
She is viewing selling the house as an easy fix for her financial problems, but this doesn’t deal with the root cause of her problems so she will continue to have increasingly bad financial problems.
When she stops paying it will just be your debt. There’s very little chance you will ever be repaid. As long as you except those two things then feel free to move forward. Otherwise, don’t.
As someone whose family has always had financial problems, doing anything that will affect your credit and finances is absolutely not the solution. It sounds like you know that already. If you take out a loan or give her any money, you will only be setting yourself up to have the same cycle of financial ruin. You must take care of yourself and saying no to her is the kindest thing you can do for her too. Mostly because it sounds like she has things she can do to help herself and is choosing to ask you and your sibling instead. Her history with money has already demonstrated she will never pay this loan back and you will be responsible for it and in debt.
Tell her that you are very sorry but you are not able to help her. Gently but firmly. You don’t owe a huge explanation nor a list of reasons (that she will promptly pick apart anyway). You love her but you just can’t. And if she can’t accept that or she tries to argue or gets angry, you can just keep repeating that same line over again and tell her you have to hang up the phone. Trust your gut that this is the right decision. Good luck.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
People don’t make big changes unless they are forced to. If you enable her, she’s not going to change a thing and her finances will always fall back on you.
Don’t forget about interest on the loan as well. You’ll be making that extra payment AND interest on it.
Just tell her that you wish you could help but you’re struggling as well.. I have so much I could comment on this but let’s just leave it here.
Why is she not on Medicare and paying for private insurance? She’s getting rent from your brother and can’t make mortgage? What is her income each month and how much is mortgage? Something isn’t adding up here. What is she doing with her money
If you take out this loan and somehow don’t go under yourself in the process . . . she will just have a new crisis in a few months, and ask again, until you have ruined your own finances and have to say “no” at some later time.
Better to start saying “no” *now*, because you will have to eventually.
Sounds like a lot of justification as to why helping will be ok in the long run vs doing the hard thing and saying “No”, resulting in feelings of guilt. You can’t trust someone who’s consistently bad with finances to pay you back based on potential scenarios. People dont just change their life-long habits out of thin air because a little luck or fortune came their way. Her unwillingness to work full-time is bs and always has been. Do yourself a favor and end the cycle of poverty by starting your journey to financial “fitness” making good choices for yourself. Form those good habits young. If you have to lie a little to avoid a fight or guilt trip, then do it. Tell her your application for a credit card or loan was denied. She is 100% wrong for asking her children for help when she’s capable of working.
Your mom is not going to pay you back. Realize that any money you give her will be a gift.
Your mother should be working full time. And, how is she going to sell the house given its current lack of cleanliness? What is the actual timeline and who will clean and prep the house for sale?
Put on your big boy/girl pants and say no. It’s OK if she gets upset. That is not your problem. I know that is easier said that done but giving your mom money will not solve her money problems.
She will not pay you back. Do what you can to convince her to work like everyone else.
Definitely don’t take out a loan, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help in other ways.
She doesn’t “need” it. She’s wants it. If she needed it she would work full time.
Talk with your dad privately and told the problem and how it is effecting you and your siblings. Get his commitment for monthly support for ex $500 monthly and add couple more hundred from you as well if you can. Ask your siblings to cover one bill per person. All together you can make it happen. But Do not let her sell the house. She will spend little bit equity she has and have to rent forever with this housing market.
Dont set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
If the bank thinks she is too high risk to loan to then you should not either.
Only give her money you are 100% ready to lose.
“getting back on her feet” implies she has a temporary problem when it sounds like she has a long term problem.
If her income is low, maybe she’d qualify for Medicaid? There’s also Section 8 housing (and vouchers) which might reduce the rent she’d pay to 30% of her adjusted gross income. She is likely getting a pretty decent tax refund if she has a couple of teenagers and working part time too btw unless there’s some other factor.
Your “mum” needs to sell the house quickly to pay off her debts, not bring down her 21 year old daughter who is just setting out in life. She is being selfish and you need to find a way to say no.
Don’t take out the loan for her. She can sell the house as is but she shouldn’t though since she can’t afford rent elsewhere.
The only solution is she needs to get a full time job like the rest of us schmucks that have to work to keep a roof over our family’s heads. If the house gets messy enough she will learn how to clean it.
The best way to help your mom is to start looking at financial programs in the county she lives in that could possibly help her. My county has tons of assistance programs for all types of situations. You do the leg work and bring her the data.
What you do is *not* take out a loan for her. She will never pay it back and her financial issues will just be passed on to you, ruining your future. She needs to just declare bankruptcy and deal with her own problems. You keep yourself safe and far away from this mess.
Let her be upset and do NOT… NOT!!! Take lit a loan out for her or a credit card or anything like that. Absolutely NOT!!!
You would wreck your life, have the loan to pay back on your own and mom would load the credit card.
You end up in debt up to your ears and beyond and will not bet a cent from her.
Once she racks the CC to the max, or blows all the loan money, are you in a position to make the payments? Her credit sucks because she racks up debt, and then doesn’t pay it. No reason to think this will be any different. You’re in school, can you make a loan payment? If you can’t, or don’t want to, say NO. Your credit is good and you want to keep it that way. You’re about to graduate, you might have to relocate, even if you don’t, you need your own place, a vehicle, furnishings, etc. If YOUR credit sucks because of her, you will not even be able to rent a car, much less a place to live.
Her history is screaming at you…you know she will leave you holding the bag, and the possibility of the ruination of your credit for a LONG time. Do not let her use your name for anything, I’d also tell you to put a lock on your credit to prevent fraud, so she can’t take out a credit card in your name (I’m assuming she knows your SS#, that’s basically all you need)
No. Do not do this. Do not dig yourself a hole helping someone else out. It would be one thing if you had cash on hand & it wouldn’t impact your lifestyle to help. It’s another to take out loans for someone else. You are young & yes this is your mom.
It sounds to me like you think your mom could work full time & won’t. If I had someone I thought could work full time & won’t ask me for money I tell them to work full time first.
There’s a saying that’s sometimes used on this sub in this situation:
“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”
Recognize that if you help her now, you will compromise your ability to help both yourself AND her in the future, possibly when she needs it more.
Look, I know she’s your mother. With my own bad-with-money mom, I set a firm boundary that I wouldn’t intervene financially unless her life was at risk, and even then I’d control the terms and the spending choices, not her. That turned out to be the correct decision for me.
>I don’t want to do it but with her adamant on selling the house I fear she’ll be upset if I say no because it’ll look like I don’t trust her. Which I don’t. But I know that’ll hurt her. She wouldn’t be asking if she didn’t need it.
Banks are experts at figuring out who is going to pay them back and who won’t. They’ll lend to you but not your mom. That tells you she can’t pay back the loan.
She’ll be upset if you say no, but you can’t give her money to make her not upset. If you had more than enough money for yourself, you might consider giving her a gift, but you don’t have money. You’d have to borrow it, which puts you at risk for the type of financial problems she has. You have to know in your heart this is right and give up all hope of making her see this is true. So when she talks about this subject, you have to leave the conversation. Nothing good will come of it.
I suspect you and your brothers never really had parents and took on some of the role of parents. I’m sorry that happened. People who had parents who were gently on their case about brushing their teeth, being safe, etc, have an advantage, but you may have an advantage over them in grit. I hope you can get away from your mom’s unhappy world and prosper in your life.
Say no, if there’s actually equity in the house she can take a mortgage against the equity for that purpose, and if there isn’t she’s just pulling you into that same vicious cycle of debt and poverty.