- April 22, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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# Legal Advice Needed: Custody Dispute Over Child’s Move
Throwaway account, apologies. Separated for 5 years, we agreed to do 50/50 to look after our now 10yo daughter in England. We have had pretty good communication all these years. She hinted a few times she might want to move, I said I wanted to keep the 50/50 as long as our daughter was in school or in age to tell us she wants to stay at one or another (about 15 in my head).
Last week she called me to say she’s finally moving on the other side of the country. She also already talked to our daughter, and asked if she wanted to stay with her or with me. She “sold” the move with her for sure: house, countryside, sea, farm, nice school.
I was devastated and angry. Our 50/50 is not a court decision, only a written mutual agreement. From now I would be the fun dad, only seeing my daughter every month and the holidays. It feels like my arms are pulled apart.
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I think everyone would advise you to see a solicitor asap
I believe what you want to apply for is a prohibited steps order.
A Prohibited Steps Order is an order which prohibits a party (usually a parent) from a certain activity relating to a child(ren), and which also prohibits a party from exercising their parental responsibility.
You need to see a solicitor really, Ideally as soon as you reasonably can, now i’m NAL, but as I understand it the process is relatively simple.
the basic approach the court will take is going to be what is in the best interests of the child, that being said its been 50/50 for so long its unlikely the courts are going to change that, you would look to apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent the move, these are emergency orders by definition you can get these extremely quickly (as few as 24 hours in a lot of cases) if its truly urgent [https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/types-of-court-order](https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/types-of-court-order) this would prevent them from moving in the short term.
what will then likely happen is your Ex Partner will still want to move, in that case you would then need to formalise your arrangement via a court sponsored agreement, what would go heavily in your favour is if you got the order and then it was breached by them, but that’s brinkmanship to consider.
the arrangement you have in place as it is not formalised is subject to change, what matters here is the child interests the courts may not prevent the move in the long term is what I am saying.
you need to speak to a solicitor really that’s the broad strokes of what is going on.
You need to see a solicitor for a prohibited steps order immediately. Then, you will need to seek mediation before going forward with contact proceedings. You can do the mediation / contact bit representing yourself if finances are an issue, but I suggest you beg, borrow or steal if you need to in order to get the initial prohibited steps order done asap.
NAL, but have personal experience of this.
Given that the precedent has been set for all of these years, there is every likelihood that the move would not be permitted.
NAL. Please for the love of god see a solicitor. I’m not ready to air my story. However I’ve been in the family courts system a long time over custody with my daughter’s father. I beg you get a solicitor. Get a solicitor ASAP and apply for a prohibited steps order as a matter of urgency. Good luck OP. Rooting for you.
Edited as the commenter below kindly pointed out I had made an error in offering to share my story via PM. Apologies for the momentary brain fart.
A written mutual agreement is as enforceable as a court order. You need to contact a family solicitor asap.
Wow so my ex husband can control where I live…? That’s insane.
Book a mediation session asap, you can’t file to court without mediation. If you agree in mediation then all good. If ex does not do mediation or doesn’t agree with you, you will then be able to file for either a court order or a prohibited steps order. If you can prove you have had 50/50 for all this time the court will generally go with the status quo as long as there are no safe guarding issues. Safe guarding issues are major things, not minor things like parenting disagreements. It is never in a child’s best interest to move away from friends and family and school unless there are safeguarding issues or necessities ie other parent can’t provide equal schooling and care. Just because she has manipulated the child to believe it’s for the best doesn’t mean it is and the court will take that into account. You don’t necessarily need a solicitor for all of this so don’t be afraid of the cost, you may be able to be a litigant in person without a solicitor so don’t panic. I am not a solicitor but have worked as a Mackenzie friend in family court, there are options beyond solicitors if you can’t afford them.
There’s no such thing as 50/50 the family courts recognise that you cannot exactly split a child’s time 50/50 and this has been tested many times. You have to apply for a prohibited steps order and you would have to evidence why the move would be detrimental to the child. The child is always the paramount consideration in family proceedings, they won’t care if your reasons are it makes my life harder.
Also your child is 10 and her views will absolutely be considered in court. Cafcass will likely seek these from your daughter as part of their report.
400 miles “on the other side of the country”. Plymouth to York isn’t even 400 miles, and to get coastal with a farm too?
See a solicitor ASAP, or alternatively, stop making up clickbait.
What’s in the best interest of the child? I’m thinking about school, friends, activities, support network of family.
Your ex has done a number on you and got the child excited about the move, so try to get the child to see the other side
I was in this position as the mum wanting to move.
We didn’t have 50/50 custody, courts only granted him weekends with our daughter.
I didn’t want to move far, just from Yorkshire to Lancashire. I wanted a fresh start and I chose Lancashire because it was where he worked so he would have still got to see our daughter.
He applied for prohibited steps order and had it so I couldn’t move out of west Yorkshire.
This is what you need to do. Apply for a prohibited steps order and mum will have to prove that the move is beneficial to your daughter and that it will overall improve her life.
Most family law firms do a free 30 minute consultation, I’d advice to book one asap
If you can afford a solicitor then I would recommend it, as it takes off the pressure. However, this is something that you can do yourself.
You will most likely need to go to mediation first, unless there are reasons that you cannot go through that process, then it will be a Prohibited Steps Order, to stop the mother from changing the child’s schools. After that it would be a Child’s Arrangement Order if you couldn’t come to an agreement between you.
I have a family member who went through a similar situation, and he was advised by his solicitor that the mother had no chance of moving the child to a different school when all the child knew was having 50/50 in an area they grew up in. The court like familiarity and if the child has had a home, and structure for so long, they won’t want to change it. They would see it as the mother moving and that would be their decision.
However, every case is unique, which means every outcome is unique. They may take your 10yo daughters wants into consideration, but they may not.
Put in the application ASAP though.
Given the existing 50/50 custody arrangement with your daughter, it is imperative to acknowledge the legal complexities involved, particularly regarding any potential relocation within the UK by your daughter’s mother. Under prevailing legal statutes, you maintain no legal grounds to impede her relocation within the UK. However, you do if such a move entails relocation outside the country.
Regrettably, in the event of legal recourse, both parties stand to incur substantial time and financial expenses. Unless there are documented instances of abuse or neglect, it is common for courts to lean towards the mother’s prerogative in such cases.
From a non-legal standpoint, it is advisable to engage in open dialogue with your former partner, elucidating the potential ramifications of any relocation on both your daughter’s welfare and your own. Provided an amicable rapport has been maintained post-separation, fostering continued communication is paramount. While acknowledging the existing power dynamics, it is pertinent to recognise that avenues for negotiation and compromise may exist, especially considering your mutual interests in your daughter’s well-being.
You need to get this settled by a court as soon as possible. Your daughter is settled and this fundamentally changes the agreement you have over childcare and her circumstances.
Have you bothered to find out why she’s decided to move so far away from you if everything is mutual and agreed 50/50. Perhaps it’s for financial reasons that you could help with. When two partners start out, everything can be 50/50. But when a woman has to use her body to give a man a child, there’s a sacrifice on her part naturally. She has to give up work for understandable reasons she can’t work. This is when the partner picks up the slack. But does the female ever recover from that financial disparity? I doubt it. Therefore, if you were to be reasonable and support her more with a 60/40 or 70/30 proposal, it might make a difference especially if your daughter means that much to you. She gave you a daughter so give her some financial help if that is the reason. Women are natural givers and men are takers. 50/50 doesn’t sound to me as if you want to help with giving. Women don’t like to drag their children away from good dad you know, we’re not monster only nurturers. What is it that you may be doing that you’ve not mentioned that is making her behave this way. Not meaning to generalise as it’s not fair but men need to know they are more so the problem when relationships break up but don’t want to acknowledge that. They are by nature, prefer war than to see reason. Women by nature hate war and prefer peace. So look in your heart and help her if you can do so. Please don’t respond like a warrior, this is purely to help you think about things clearer and give you support to help your family to be closer to you.
The child is not yet old enough to make such a life changing decision.
She is settled in a school and has friends and relationships that she would lose if she was moved.
You do not think it’s in your child’s best interest and oppose the move, if the other parent wants to move and is adamant about doing so, then you would request the court orders the child to live with you.
You’ve had 50/50 for however long and moving the child is only going to damage the bond you have and significantly impact your time together.
Are there any siblings?
It could go either way, as depends how strong their case is to move, I’ve seen both instances of stay and allow to move happen,
NAL, but no she cant just up and leave and take your daughter away from you. See a solicitor asap !!
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If you enforce 50/50 are you going to collect and drop off your daughter 400miles away multiple times a week? It’s either 100 with the mum or you move home aswell, unfortunately