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# Situation Overview: Wife’s Decision to Leave and Remarry

I have been married to my wife for seven years and we have a five-year-old child together. Recently, my wife made the decision to leave me and our child. Despite filing a missing person’s report, the police located her and confirmed she is safe but no longer wishes to maintain contact with us. Additionally, I have received information that she is planning to marry another man.

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40 Comments

  • itistheink

    Registrar of Marriages (England and Wales) here. Legally speaking she is allowed to plan and book a wedding ceremony whilst still married to you. She cannot however complete the legal preliminaries to marriage (giving notice or reading banns in church) If you believe she has done this and lied to the register office about her freedom to marry then you should report it to the Superintendent Registrar for either the district of the ceremony or where your wife lives. Whilst it is true that investigating potential crimes of perjury or bigamy are police matters. Superintendent registrars are required to look into potential impediments and objections to marriage and if necessary can prevent marriage schedules being issued and stop marriages taking place. It is far better that these issues are investigated prior to ceremonies rather than objections at weddings. Objections at ceremonies can get extremely unpleasant and cause a lot of collateral damage to innocent guests and can be very upsetting for children.

    Get this sorted out first.

  • scarter3549

    NAL but I suggest you preserve your dignity and avoid attending any wedding ceremony.

    Start divorce proceedings and begin to heal and plan your new life.

  • SickPuppy01

    The only thing you can do is get on with divorce proceedings and focus on what happens next.

    There is less than zero point going to the wedding and I would advise against it. It will potentially end violence and/or a disturbance of the peace or trespass charge. That’s the last thing you need if there is going to be any kind of custody battle. At the moment she is the only looking at a criminal record, and one that will be frowned upon in the family courts. So don’t give away your advantage.

  • fionakitty21

    Start divorce proceedings, and claim CMS as she doesn’t want to have contact.

  • Vyseria

    Start divorce proceedings? The second marriage would be void if she’s already married to you

  • SchoolForSedition

    Attending a wedding to say one party is already married would actually be why weddings are public. But I think the police, given they know about it, will have warned them off. I can’t think they haven’t told the registrar. In fact it’s probably the registrar who told them.

  • HansNiesenBumsedesi

    You’re correct it would be an offence should she marry bigamously, but you’re not the wronged party in that sense.

    Your grievance may be valid but her leaving you is not a crime. I suggest you leave the police to get on with it. Her abandoning you and her marrying bigamously are two separate issues.

  • Loose_Student_6247

    Before I give advice I have to ask the question.

    Why do you actually care?

    This is a woman that allegedly abandoned you. My legal advice would be to divorce her, get custody of your child so that doesn’t become an issue later, and let her enjoy her life as you will without her.

    It’s definitely the easiest route for everyone.

    Definitely don’t attend the wedding though. That will almost certainly end in you being in trouble if you attend uninvited.

  • i-mahmood25

    As far as divorces are concerned, this is excellent for you. You are primary Care taker of your child. So hopefully you’ll get the kid. That, to you, should be top priority. So, no child maintenance. Hopefully, she doesn’t come after the house too. I would speak to a lawyer and plan next step, rather than taking a rash decision.

  • TabularConferta

    I’m sorry mate.

    Assuming you are the main breadwinner I’d recommend lawyering now and starting proceedings before you marriage is at the 8 year mark as this is considered a long term marriage and all assets are 50/50. Record every, don’t talk to her without making notes of conversation or even recordings.

  • SureAd9685

    Don’t show up to the ceremony you will look a right tit

  • WeedLatte

    What do you hope to accomplish here? She can still divorce you, youll just be postponing her wedding. You can’t keep her trapped married to you forever, and trying to criminally prosecute her for leaving isn’t going to make her want to stay.

  • CxKappaCx

    Seems like you’re trying to control or dictate what she does. Why do you care? Divorce and move on, let her make her own decisions.

  • Chemical_Detective76

    What is your end goal? What do you think you’re going to gain by going to her planned wedding? I’m not a lawyer, but I’d imagine taking such an action would only go against you in any future proceedings. You’ve made a report, you’re next steps would be to ensure you and your child are protected from any fall out from her actions. Seek legal advice about custody and divorce.

  • Active-Strawberry-37

    You give the crime reference number to the registrar so they can complete the next steps

  • kelfromaus

    She hasn’t committed a crime – yet.

    And, as no one else seems willing, the fact your wife left and wants no contact with you is a large red flag.

    File for divorce and move on, there is nothing to gain by pushing this.

  • Cevinkrayon

    It’s not a crime to PLAN to marry someone while married to someone else. How far has she actually got in this process (and how do you even know??). She’s not going to be able to go through with it, this kind of thing gets checked well before walking down the aisle. There’s no need for you to start storming weddings. Focus on getting a divorce and getting child maintenance from her.

  • DerekFlint420

    What should the police do, arrest her before committing a crime? only bad things can happen if you attempt the wedding uninvited. I’d toss you out on your ear for her. It’s not going to make her love you or give you money. Start proceedings for child support and sole custody yesterday as an interim measure.

    the important thing is the best interests of the child

  • Anon1837473882998283

    Don’t go to the ceremony. It doesn’t matter. There’s no victim here, and it may well be that she is planning to divorce you anyway. Start proceedings if you can.

    Go and get child support money and spend it on doing nice things with your kid.

    I’m sorry this happened to you and your kid.

  • Disastrous_Visual739

    Speak to a divorce lawyer like yesterday! Think about the house, child support, custody of your son man there’s so much you need to get ahead of!

    Take this women to the cleaners you have a strong case in the divorce with her actions.

  • Chaosrealm69

    Don’t turn up at the wedding, that just makes you look like the idiot.

    Contact the registrar before hand and provide them with the details about how she is still married to you, no divorce decree, etc and let them screw things up for her officially.

  • itistheink

    Registrar of Marriages (England and Wales) There is an awful lot of excited talk about objecting at marriage ceremonies here.

    It is a very popular topic of conversation and I am regularly asked about it at work. I am not going to recount juicy anecdotes in this sub.

    Some practicalities and legalities around Objections to Marriage.

    1. Yes a marriage must not take place behind locked doors. So that if some one needed to they can enter to raise a lawful objection to the marriage. One is not entitled to turn up just as a spectator to watch and eat popcorn.

    2. In a civil marriage there is no legal necessity for the registrar to ask if any one knows of any lawful impediment etc. It is very commonly done as it is traditional, people like it and it adds a bit of drama.

    3. If some one does raise an objection then the registrar must stop the ceremony, and establish if the objection being made is in fact a lawful one. (capacity, prohibited relationship, duress, bigamy etc) Not simply that it is a bad idea. If it is then the registrar should attempt to investigate and question the objector and the parties to the marriage to establish if the objection is valid or whether the marriage can go ahead. If it appears there is a valid lawful objection. The registrar can stop or delay the ceremony until this is resolved. If there was an attempt to commit a crime the police may be called.

    4. If some one objects to a marriage prior to a ceremony date then the Superintendent is required to ensure that it is properly investigated and can enter a caveat which prevents the legal authority for the marriage being issued. This prevents any ceremony taking place.

    A Superintendents investigation can take place over several days or weeks, will be carried out by senior registrars, with access to the registers, indexes, specialist advice from social services, the NHS, lawyers and the General Register Office. If the police are required then it can be reported to them in an orderly manner by appointment.

    An objection at a ceremony will need to be initially investigated by a potentially more junior ceremonies registrar. Without any support other than that on the end of a phone. At a weekend. In a busy ceremony venue, in front if perhaps 120 guests who have travelled 100s of miles. Who may have had a drink. With possibly no police available to attend, and knowing that you need to be at the next wedding of the remaining four that day in 30mins.

    The procedures around objecting at weddings are important, would have been more so in the days before telephones and emails. But they are very much there for a last resort.

    Reporting in advance is much more likely to get a legally satisfactory outcome. More likely to ensure irregular marriages don’t occur. Without innocent parties being caused distress and without spoiling the day of other couples getting married that day.

    It is not nearly as exciting in a movie though!

  • offaseptimus

    Is your marriage valid?

    Where was it performed and by who?

  • bitofacunt2023

    My comment was removed lol but she’s not actually breaking any laws until she marries him tbh n if she does marry him while married to u then that’s bigamy

  • mooseknuckle4000

    Divorce and move on. You sound very bitter, if she’s such a bad person you should be glad she’s someone else’s problem. I think there’s a lot more to this, for whatever reason.

  • New-account-01

    Leave her to get on with it, don’t waste Amy energy going to the wedding. Focus on your child. Once she’s married then file a report with the authority, also get her to pay child maintenance!

  • SilasMarner77

    That moment in the wedding ceremony was included with scenarios like this in mind. You are well-within your rights (even morally obliged) to make your case at this fraudulent, bigamous ceremony.

  • wigzell78

    My personal advice, dont attend, dont object. It is her action and she will be responsible for the consequences.
    You could have a quick call to the priest or celebrant if known, cos they will not want to be involved in such a case.
    Either way, she has moved on from you and it sounds like this is the best thing for you and your kid.

  • 6tl6ntis6

    Look your best bet is to take her to court for child support and abandonment.

    Her new marriage won’t go through without already getting the divorce from you.

  • mainman2507

    If she does she could get 7 years in prison and a fine or both.

  • StellaMistes

    Seek legal advice immediately. Consult with a family law attorney who can guide you through the process of protecting your rights and interests in this situation.

  • TickityTickityBoom

    When she applied for her licence to marry you can object

  • Famous_Obligation959

    File for divorce would be quickest. It would allow her to legally remarry, which is what she needs in order to not break the law.

  • Magdovus

    What are you expecting from the police?

    I was a call handler. I’d give you a reference number but I’d tell you that we may not be able to provide updates.