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# Concerns Regarding Partner’s Wellbeing After Trip to Turkey

I sincerely apologize if this question is not suitable for this forum. My common-law partner/boyfriend embarked on a “work trip” to Turkey on February 27th. We have been in a committed relationship for over 2 years and live together. Throughout his trip, we maintained communication via text messages and calls.

However, his behavior has been concerning as he displayed signs of anger issues and made alarming statements during a recent argument. He mentioned thoughts of self-harm and expressed a desire to disappear without a trace, which is deeply troubling.

Since then, he has become unresponsive, and my attempts to contact him have been futile. This period of 5 days has been filled with immense stress, anxiety, and uncertainty for me. I have reached out to his parents, who reside in another country, and even they have not heard from him.

While I plan to address the communication issues and behavior upon his return, my primary concern at the moment is his safety and well-being. I simply need assurance that he is safe and alive.

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Who should I contact in this situation? As he traveled alone and has not been in contact, should I reach out to the local authorities or take a different course of action? Your advice and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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30 Comments

  • compassrunner

    This is not a Canadian legal issue. Canadian authorities have zero jurisdiction abroad.

    That said, is he a Canadian citizen travelling on a Canadian passport? Or what passport does he have?

  • Dear_Reality_4590

    Is this an abusive relationship? If he shows back up after making you and his family worry for days that he killed himself I suggest you leave the relationship.

    HereÔÇÖa a resource for when people go missing abroad that may be helpful to you.

    https://travel.gc.ca/assistance/emergency-info/missing-persons#:~:text=If%20a%20Canadian%20citizen%20goes,Emergency%20Watch%20and%20Response%20Centre.

  • Fun_universe

    Honestly if this were me I would break up with him over text and move on. He seems like a horrible human being.

  • Accomplished_Poetry4

    I know that you’re worried but it’s highly likely he’s manipulating you. I would take this time to self-reflect and leave.

  • OoohItsAMystery

    First, I highly recommend you don’t “set strict boundaries” upon his return. If he does return. This isn’t a set strict boundaries situations. This is a “you go to therapy to better yourself and take actions to better yourself or I’m gone so fast your damn head will spin”. This is not someone you stay with. Don’t continue to accept this abuse.

    You said it was a work trip? Do you know what hotel he’s at? If so, try calling them and having them check on him. If you do not, try contacting his work to find out where he was staying and if anyone has heard from him.

    If unable to access this information, then move on to contacting local authorities. Though, you might need his hotel for this so it might be a problem… But try contacting the embassy? See if they have any guidance or resources they can provide you for getting help in finding him or making a report?

    If not, try looking into the local police to wherever he was staying. See if maybe you can send an email or make a call (if you can afford it) to report him missing. Some places do have email addresses you can use to make contact.

    Good luck!

  • CedricMac

    Contact the hotel where he is staying

  • Far-Juggernaut8880

    If itÔÇÖs a work trip then contact his employer to see if they can confirm that he is safe. Also reach out to the Canadian Consult there to report a potential missing Canadian.

  • Parking-Bench

    You probably have a vindictive absconder on your hands. Ask the mom to contact embassy of the country he is a citizen of if it has offices in Turkey.

    In Canada, you talk to a family lawyer and prepare ground work to legally separate. No good will ever come out of abusive relationships with anger issues whether he is fine or not fine.

  • Kymaras

    Is he Turkish? If not what is his citizenship?

  • Bailsthebean

    OP I looked through your post history and I am seriously concerned.

    Get out of this situation, him disappearing is a good thing because you should take the opportunity to get your ducks in a row to leave.

    I also suggest getting some therapy.

  • derspiny

    As for contact, if you have a concern for his safety, you’d need to talk to appropriate authorities in the country he’s staying in. You can try talking to the Canadian consulate, but as your partner is not a Canadian, it’s possible they’ll refer you to local authority as well.

    Given his reticence with information beforehand and his silence now, I would plan for the possibility that he will not be returning, one way or another. It’s probably premature to start acting on that now, but if you don’t hear from him within a few weeks of his planned return date, I would start making plans for a future that does not have him in it. Since you’re in touch with his family, they would be able to hold onto (or dispose of) his personal effects if he does not return to collect them; if you own property together (a home, cars worth more than a trivial amount of money, investments, etc), then you may need to talk to a family law attorney about your options to sever that joint ownership.

  • ThiccBranches

    You can contact he local authorities where he travelled and let them know. You can also contact the Canadian Embassy in Ankara and inform them, although they will be limited in what they can do as he is a Permanent Resident. You can also consider contacting his employer, considering he was on a work trip.

  • Suit-Street

    Are you sure this was really a work trip and him not seeing someone else abroad?

  • Tiny_Acanthisitta_32

    The man dumped you

  • AggravatingCut3792

    Turkey has a lot of document control on foreigners. You cannot do much without giving your passport copy ie.hotel booking even bus transportation etc. you need to contact the Canadian embassy in Turkey and they should be able to work with the local police to find him. Source: lived there for a year

  • CommonEarly4706

    Who is his employer? Do you know where he was staying? Do you have any travel documents eg/ itinerary? Reservation confirmations? Credit card bills or charges? Can you look them up?

  • freesolo17

    >He had been acting strange and has anger issues. We got into an argument, just a normal argument, and he told me heÔÇÖs going to go kill himself and hopes he will never be found again. This is very odd.

    Is this the first time he’s threatened to take his own life? You mentioned he was acting strange and that this was odd. Did it seem like he was the one you were speaking with, was there anything in the way he spoke with you that may have indicated to you that it wasn’t him?
    I realize speculating isn’t helpful but it may help to think about this if you intend to reach out to the authorities.

  • PrizeReality7663

    You could try contacting foreign affairs, but it’s doubtful they can truly help you. They may, however, be able to notify you if he shows up at an embassy somewhere or something like that.

  • StarryPenny

    Have you tried find my phone or equivalent?

    Does he use AirTag or Tile on any belongings with him?

    Can you sign into his Google account and see his last location?

  • NeedSomeRepairs

    Does he have an Apple phone? Is it a newer model? Maybe contact Apple to see if he has an emergency find me contact set up. The newer models allow you to enable ÔÇ£find my phoneÔÇØ, even when itÔÇÖs off. Might be worth a try to see if they can help in any way.

  • buffyfierce

    Work trip? Contact his work first and foremost. Then hotel, airlines etc…if he’s alive, leave immediately. Like right now before he gets back.

  • Low-Stomach-8831

    You tell his mom to file a missing person report with the Turkish police. You can really help too much at this point.

  • mymyoo

    Contact the embassy of whichever country he is citizen of. And call their local authority…don’t know how helpful Turkish police will be but you gotta get the embassy involved for sure

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  • Fianna9

    If itÔÇÖs a work trip, have you contacted his job to see if they have heard from him? Do you know which hotel he is staying in?

  • Ok_Attitude7158

    Contact the Canadian Embassy and report him as missing. They should be able to engage local authorities on your behalf.

  • Pickled_Popcorn

    Contact the Canadian embassy in Turkey