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## Situation Overview

My grandparent passed away unexpectedly, leaving each of the four grandchildren with £50k. My brother and I, both in our late 20s/early 30s, are financially stable and already own properties, thanks in part to a previous inheritance from our other grandparents. However, my teenage cousins are facing financial uncertainty, as it is unlikely they will receive any inheritance from their other side of the family due to various circumstances.

## Personal Dilemma

I want to provide additional support to my cousins, who have had challenging experiences in their lives. I am considering giving them a significant portion of my inheritance, but I am unsure how to approach this delicate situation without coming across as ungrateful for the inheritance I have received.

## Proposed Solution

One possible solution is to express my desire to support my cousins by offering them a portion of my inheritance. By using the AI Legalese Decoder, I can construct a legally sound and sensitive way to communicate this decision to my cousins. Additionally, I can consider leaving a smaller amount for myself and using the remaining funds to purchase a painting in honor of our grandparents, who had a passion for art. This gesture would not only provide support to my cousins but also pay tribute to our shared family heritage.

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40 Comments

  • ridingfurther

    Not rude. But I’d consider taking it, investing it and gifting it to them at an appropriate time or using it to generously support them.

  • jonjam13

    If you’d given me 50k as a teenager I would have immediately spaffed it on a car which I would have promptly crashed.

    As others have said, invest, make it grow. Id also get to know your cousins over the next few years and find out what they really need, if you’re already in a good position some mentorship and a friend could go a long way. And if you’ve set aside that money for them you’ll be in a great position to do things that’d really help like deposits for a mortgage or a few months of free rent.

  • ChangingMyLife849

    You can execute a deed of variation, in order to ensure there’s no tax implications

  • etherenum

    Surely what you do with it is up to you, even if that means gifting 90% of it?

  • bluejackmovedagain

    I would suggest that, without telling them, you stick most of it in an investment account, and keep some back to pay for their driving lessons or to help with university accommodation and things like moving for their first job. Then, when they’re 25 give them the rest of it. 

  • MoffTanner

    Rude to who? Is there a surving grandparent?

    If the money has been left to you and you choose to distribute it to other relatives or to give it to the left handed society for Napoleonic reenactment then not sure who will care or know unless you are broadcasting it.

  • alasdairallan

    If you decline the inheritance it’s going to heavily depend on how the will is written what happens to the money. The money forms part of the estate, so if the will is written so that these are specific bequests and “the remaining estate” goes to such-and-such a person, or institution, then the money you declined will go there.

    If there is no specific language in the will that makes it clear where the money would go, it’s going to be down to whoever is executor of the will to figure it out. You can’t decline a bequest in favour of someone else.

    You’d have to take the money, and then explicitly give it to your cousins.

  • Kzap1

    Invest it for them.

    E.g Child isa. That way it’s invested until they’re 18 and no risk of them spending it on Pokemon cards on the meantime.

  • nobelprize4shopping

    If you declined your share, do you know for sure that the terms of the will mean it will go to them? How about investing it and giving it to them when they are a bit older to use towards a deposit?

  • JooSerr

    Just take it and give it to them? Now or in the future

  • MoanyTonyBalony

    Why not tell them you’ll pay for their accommodation and living costs if they decide to go to university.

    Or maybe startup costs for a business or a house deposit depending on what they decide to do in life.

    Invest in their future and give them a headstart instead of just giving them cash

  • llksg

    Lots of good advice here, just want to say this is bloody lovely to read.

  • hakerk9

    You could put it in a trust for them, would need a deed of variation

  • HubbyWifey8389

    Take the inheritance and then give it away. You don’t know what the will says, it might end up at the local cats home if you refuse it!

  • zakjoshua

    I don’t know the mechanics of it, but could you talk to their parents about investing it in some kind of fund (in their name, not the parents) that will only mature when they hit 21/25? Even 18 is too young for that kind of money in my experience.

  • Jonography

    I think I you should take it, set it aside, and wait things out. You are also young, and although I don’t know what you mean by “reasonably well off”, unless you have lifetime savings, pension all sorted, properties paid off and so on, you’ve still got a long way to go. Worst case is you give it to a young cousin, they blow it on a BMW, and then you’re all fucked if life take an unexpected turn in the coming years.

  • CaptainTrip

    I think it might be rude if you do what it sounds like you’re talking about doing, which is to say, make sure everyone knows that you’re specifically trying to change the inheritance structure/specifically give your cousins this specific money/make sure everyone sees you being generous.

    If you want to do this, just take the money quietly and accept it, deal with any personal tax implications, and then subsequently privately talk to your cousins about how you’ve decided to use your windfall to gift them some money. 

  • carlostapas

    Deffo hold on until they buy a house

  • _lovetoread

    I don’t have any advice, but I think you’re a really nice person for considering this.

  • Violet351

    If they are teenagers they probably won’t put it towards their future but spend it on cars and holidays. Maybe find another way to help them with the money eg if they go to uni or wait uni they are a bit older and actually trying to make their way as adults

  • Dontleavethewest

    You sound really kind. Giving to others in need is not only amazing for your own health (it’s weird, but willingly helping others brings one great joy), but you might change their lives for the good!

    My only concern would be their ability to wisely steward a large sum of money. If you know they will be sensible with it, knowing how to budget, invest, etc., then why not?

    But as has been mentioned before, you might gift them various amounts in the future. Maybe at key milestones or events e.g. hitting 25, 30, buying a house or car, etc.

    I’d love to see more people like you

  • 3106Throwaway181576

    Take the money, put it in a JSipp for them, and congratulations, they have beaten Capitalism. They win. You have secured their future.

    While they sleep, their money will work for them. You can take a HUGE burden off their shoulders. And with their issues you allude to, there is no way they can spunk this money away. None whatsoever. Not without getting terminal cancer anyways.

    They will live and die under Capitalism, so go buy them some Capital, and give them a huge headstart.

  • Scarboroughwarning

    The others on here are way better at advice.

    All I’ll say, depending on their age, I’d drip feed it to them. If I’d had several thousand given at a young age, it would have gone at a young age.

    One other thing, some financial advice for them (possibly not an actual financial advisor), even if it is you

    Kudos to you

  • feelingodysseyreddit

    I don’t have advice, just wanted to say that I think it’s really sweet of you guys to think about your cousins’ futures and share your wealth.

    (Kind of agree with the people saying to keep it in some sort of trust or whatever until they’re older)

  • WinterSalary4288

    First of all thanks for being generous 99.99% of inheritance questions are arugments about who gets what so this is refreshing.

    I say invest it make it the gift that keeps giving forever.

    Invest it and maybe give them 20% of the gains each year as a cash Christmas gift / birthday gift / wedding gift. Don’t tell them you’re investing it for them as they might pester you to cash it out.

    If they ever ask why you’re giving them cash gifts just say you invested your inheritance and want to share the gains with them. Can’t argue with that. Never let them think the capital is there’s just say you want to share the gains with them.

    You can put in your will that it goes to them in the event that you die.

    Invest in a global stock index such as Vanguard Global all cap

  • MapTough848

    Put it into an ISA for them and if they get married give the monies as a wedding present

  • ukpf-helper

    Hi /u/Affectionate_Egg2960, based on your post the following pages from our wiki may be relevant:

    * https://ukpersonal.finance/lump-sum/

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  • BornToPlod

    Pretty circumstantial, dependent on what your grandparent may have wanted you to do with the money (support your own future kids etc). How close are you with your cousins? I’ve heard this example before in the same circumstances: could you and your brother take them to Florida for instance and pay for them both? Means you’re doing something together in memory of your grandparent, while feeling ‘nice’ that you’ve treated your cousins.

  • Doctor-Doomer

    Who would be considering that rude? The deceased? The people you’re giving money to?

  • Perfectly2Imperfect

    It’s your money and you’re entitled to do whatever you want with it and frankly it’s noone else’s business. I think it’s hugely generous of you that you’re willing to do that and don’t think it’s ungrateful in any way. Surely it would be more disrespectful to waste the money on stuff you don’t really care about instead of giving it to someone you care about whose life could be significantly changed for the better by it?

  • dopelemon123

    If you’re worried about being rude to your grandparents, you can do a Deed of Variation after their death (so for tax purposes it is treated as going straight from your grandparents to them)

    I wouldn’t do it in their lifetime in case you change your view (i.e kids come along etc)

  • Western-Fun5418

    Yes.

    Need and right are irrelevant when it comes to inheritances.

    The only thing that matters is _want_, specifically what the grandparents _wanted_.

    If you want to help your cousins that’s a separate concern. Your grandparents wanted to help _you_. This isn’t your money to gift.

  • infieldcookie

    Without knowing you or your cousins it’s hard to say how sensible they are, however I have a cousin that could absolutely NOT just get that amount of money and have it end well. It would be gone almost instantly on nothing of value and they’d basically be back where they started. Another cousin of mine is very good at saving and would’ve used it more wisely.

    What I would do is accept the money but earmark it for them as and when they need it for life events. Learning to drive/need a car? Help them out with lessons and a car. Going to uni? Help them out with accommodation costs. Looking to buy a house? Use the rest of the money for a deposit.

  • Tradtrade

    50k invested will let you give them about 1-2 grand every year forever from the profits might be more helpful to them or let it compound till they are ready to buy a house or compound till they retire and it’ll be about 600k giving them a retirement income of like 20k

  • Enigma_Frixion

    Honestly, better to put it in a Child ISA

  • Prestigious_Ad4546

    No advice, just so nice to end the day hearing someone say they have enough and to consider those that do not have as much.

  • Professional_Space_2

    This post warmed my heart bro. Good on you, I know you’ll make the right choice whatever you choose to do.

  • pease_pudding

    Treat them to a small amount (couple of grand or something)

    This is still a windfall to a teenager, but ensures they wont fritter away someones hard-earned inheritance on booze, music and drugs – which is what I woiuld have done as a teenager

    Invest the rest, maybe in a low cost index tracker. Then in a few years, when they are older and struggling to find a deposit for a house, you can chip in and help them out.

    You’ll most likely have more to give by that point, and they’ll probably be mature enough to put it to good use, instead of pissing it up the wall and not improving their lot

  • highnelwyn

    What’s wrong with partying it away?

  • Starman68

    Your grandparent gave it to you and not your cousins for a reason.