- May 17, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Son’s Graduation and Mother’s Threat
My son is about to graduate from an institution where very senior people of national significance from that place will be in attendance. It is a crucial event for his future career prospects and he has worked hard to reach this point.
He has been no contact with his mother for almost two years after she kicked him out of home. She is also now in and out of psych wards due to ongoing drug use and mental health problems. This unstable situation has caused a lot of stress for my son, especially considering the importance of his graduation event.
She is now threatening to attend his graduation (it’s a public event and she is interstate from the event) against his wishes, and he is worried she will cause a scene in front of senior people who he will have to work with and report to after his graduation. This could not only ruin his special day but also potentially damage his professional reputation and future opportunities.
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By using the AI Legalese Decoder, my son can take proactive steps to protect his graduation day and ensure that his career is not impacted by his mother’s potential disruptive behavior. This tool can provide clarity and peace of mind in a challenging and sensitive situation, empowering my son to take control of his future and focus on celebrating his achievements without unnecessary stress and worry.
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This sounds like a graduation from a military academy. If this is the case, I’d recommend your son advise his chain of command of the situation as soon as possible so it can be dealt with discreetly. He’s not going to get in trouble for this and in fact, his CoC will be grateful they’ve been informed in a timely manner so they can put controls in place. Tell him to ignore any advice to the contrary that he may have received from his peers – they’re looking at things from a different perspective. If he’s uncomfortable advising his CoC directly, he could seek the assistance of the chaplain who can help from a welfare perspective.
Make up a professional looking invite for her.
Change the date and and time to the day after
Every graduation that I’ve attended has been a ticketed event, usually limited to two tickets per graduand.
How is she going to get a ticket except by invitation?
Congratulations on your son’s amazing achievement. You must be absolutely thrilled. I’m sorry to hear that his mother is liable to make a public scene during such a significant event in his life; that’s awful. I don’t have any advice to offer as there’s already plenty of good advice in this thread. I just wanted you to know you’re doing a great job as a dad and I’m cheering you on.
She won’t get her shit together to actually attend an event in another state… I wouldn’t stress about it.
If there will be senior people of significance there then I would imagine that there will be some sort of security or police presence there? Notify the organisers that an unwanted person may try to attend, give them a recent photo of her along with an idea of what sort of behaviour or danger they may expect from her and let them deal with it. They don’t want it to be disrupted any more then you do.
In the meantime try to obfuscate the exact time and date of the event so that she doesn’t know when it is on. Slip her a date that’s a week after the event.
OP if my child was graduating from say Royal Military College Duntroon or ADFA and was in the same scenario as your child I’d be contacting the Military Commandant of the institution and informing he/she of the situation.
U/ausbambam is correct. If it’s a military graduation speak with their commanding officer about your concerns.
He can take out a restraining order against her, but she might not care about it… the whole “not within 50m” should work.
He could manipulate the situation – explain while it’s public only, there’s a ticket only area and he hasn’t been able to get her tickets… Lie. He could get someone down the pub to buy her a solid round of ‘congratulatory drinks’ five hours before her flight…
He could arrange to never be in a public access area on the day (formally or informally) and just avoid her (and others).
He could realise that a LOT of people going through have stories and ‘problem people’ and he might not be the biggest nut to crack on the day, or even the year.
He could ask the Event admin who handle all sorts of things and say “I have a scene causing drunkard of a mother, who I don’t talk to. But she’s threatening to show up… how do we handle this?” And let them help – they’ve seen it before and will appreciate a heads up.
A couple of options:
– Tell his mum he has decided not to go to the graduation, due to the risk of a scene being made, and because they can just send him the certificate anyway. Then go anyway without her.
– Give her the wrong date, tell her it was delayed a week (long enough that if she comes down a couple of days before the date she has been told, then she won’t be conveniently there anyway). Then post pictures / send photos of the event to her so she knows not to bother coming the following week.
– Say he has been held back from graduation for whatever reason and that he’ll tell her when his “proper” graduation date is. Then this could “change at the last minute” with just enough time that she can’t make it.
– Tell her he is coming to visit her interstate on the same dates so she doesn’t make travel plans, then cancel at the last minute to attend the graduation.
Another option : Explicitly state to mother that he has zero desire for her to be there and that she is NOT welcome to attend. Be very very clear and direct on it. Tell her it isn’t up to her to choose and that if she decides to attend, he won’t be there. Do not give further explanation or reasoning, you don’t want to defend your decision.
Depends how far you want to go. You could hire your own security. You could even hire a police officer to attend the event but you probably need a restraining order for them to (have the power to) do anything. Look up special event planning and registration on QLD govt/police website. You need to pay their salary for the duration and it depends on availability and willingness of the local station.
But it sounds like a large prestigious (educational) institution would have security already. Meet with them and supply a picture of said person.
You would need permission of the institution for the first 2 options.
He needs to take out a restraining order on her. Asap. Then tell the relevant people & security at the event.
He needs to let her know he has taken it out and tell her she WILL NOT get in, so not bother showing up
Just pretend he doesn’t know her and if she’s kicking off call for security
He could get an AVO legally restraining her from coming within 100m of him. That would probably be close enough. He would need to show a genuine and reasonable fear of violence. Severe drug abuse may well be sufficient grounds, along with the desire to intrude into his event.
To stop contact you’d need a restraining order of some type to inhibit contact. To stop a person entering an event at a private place they don’t need any reason to ask someone to leave. If you have security available inform the event organisers that you have concerns and want this person to not attend
Is an IVO possible? I know that is super traumatic for him?
I will never understand why parents do things beyond the wishes of their. Children.
Contact the institution and inform them that a potentially unstable person may show up to the event and cause a scene. Hopefully they will arrange for security to be present and escort her out if that happens.
So first step is he needs to get an alternate date out there for the graduation so she shows up on a different day.
I also love the idea of another poster of recruiting someone to get her drunk ahead of her flight.
But I wouldn’t do a restraining order. If she’s nuts it will just inflame her and not restrain her. Could be more provocative.
I would hire security for your son. Someone in a suit to be near him and look like family. But if she shows up to run interference and call the police so that your son / you can enjoy the day.
Contact the organisation anonymously and ask them what they suggest
I’d suggest contacting the institution, explaining the question, and asking for security to support your son. Unless it’s on public property people may need the institution’s permission to be on the grounds so they could feasibly remove her or deny her access.
Notify the event organizers and or the police of the potential issue.
You’re not responsible for mother’s actions, but you can prepare the venue to have to deal with the issues.
If “important” people are going to be there, highly likely there will be some security that won’t screw around, and will make sure that the “distraction” doesn’t make it past the door
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First of all-
Reach out to the school, explain your situation, describe who she is, and how her attending is a safety concern.
Usually school’s have decent security,
and will be willing to help.
Especially if they’re aware that her goal is to be disruptive, and cause a scene at the event.
Second of all, lie.
Tell her a fake date, a fake place, etc.
Then there’s a higher chance she’ll
show up somewhere else, and not at the actual graduation event.
Third of all-
Have you considered a restraining order?
A restraining order would prevent her from harassing your son, and showing up uninvited to any future events.
Considering she has a history of drug use, being mentally unstable, etc-
I doubt it would be hard to
get a restraining order against her.
Restraining order?
Why can’t you give her a fake date? Personally, I would…..
OP has said it’s a publicly accessible event.
So the answer is he can’t stop her attending.
The end.
This is a great opportunity to teach your son about forgiveness…. Good Luck, hopefully his mum has woken up and changed her ways… it’s possible. Forgive them, they know not what they do….