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**Introduction**

I Was with a Girl for 5 Years: A Heartbreaking Tale of Financial Betrayal

**Background**

In a relationship that spanned half a decade, we built a life together, acquiring a car and furnishing a house. Adding to the complexity of our situation, my partner had two children of her own. The untimely passing of both her parents within a three-year period added further weight to her already burdened shoulders. To complicate matters, she took on the responsibility of caring for her 14-year-old sister, all while shouldering the substantial financial obligations of her parents’ funeral expenses.

**Financial Strain**

The weight of her mounting debt strained our relationship, causing a noticeable drift between us. Desperate for a fresh start, she implored me to take out a $35,000 loan to alleviate her financial burden and rebuild her credit. Promising to repay the loan in full, she assured me of her commitment even after our relationship had ended.

**Current Predicament**

Following my generous act of paying off her debt, she abruptly ended our relationship. Despite her promises, her behavior towards me drastically shifted, leaving me in a precarious financial position. Her reluctance to fulfill her end of the bargain has left me feeling used and manipulated, with the looming threat of financial ruin hanging over me.

**AI Legalese Decoder Assistance**

In such a convoluted and emotionally charged situation, seeking legal recourse may be your best option. AI Legalese Decoder can help you navigate the complexities of the legal system by providing personalized advice tailored to your specific circumstances. From determining the viability of suing her for the money to exploring the possibility of transferring the loan into her name, our platform offers guidance and clarity in your time of need.

**Conclusion**

As you grapple with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship, know that you are not alone in seeking justice. AI Legalese Decoder stands ready to assist you in pursuing a resolution to reclaim what is rightfully yours. Though the road ahead may be challenging, take solace in the fact that you have the resources and support needed to navigate this difficult chapter in your life.

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**The Challenge of Understanding Legal Language**

Legal language, also known as legalese, can be incredibly complex and difficult to understand for the average person. This can make it challenging for individuals to navigate the legal system, understand their rights and responsibilities, and make informed decisions about legal matters.

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19 Comments

  • tleb

    Sue.

    Do it now. You will have it on record and have recourse. As it stands, you have stress and no answers.

    In AB you lose the ability to get a judgment after 2 years if you don’t take the legal route. There are some things that can reset this timer, but it can be complex depending on circumstances, so your best bet is to act fast.

    It’s not you being mean or a hardass. It’s just you being forced into a position where the arrangement needs to be formalized.

    Get the ball rolling with research and putting together all your evidence this weekend.

    Plus the court will apply an interest rate which is also only fair amd will encourage her to get a loan to pay you off as soon as she can, like she already promised to.

  • KWienz

    In essence you gave her a loan and she used the proceeds to repay another loan. That you yourself took out a loan to lend her the money is largely irrelevant, except insofar as you can argue its an implied part of the agreement that your loan to her bears the same interest as the loan you took out.

    You’re certainly entitled to sue her for repayment of the loan. You would bring the action in small claims court.

  • Tiger_Dense

    Sue her in small claims court. The texts will be proof that theyÔÇÖre related to her debt. You want to claim ÔÇ£unjust enrichmentÔÇØ. ┬áThat means she benefited from the loan.┬á

    If you sue now, she may make some payments. The narrative you want to get across to the court is it was never your intention to pay any part of the loan, you only took it out to facilitate her ability to reduce her debt. 

    If you win, you register the judgment. Then you can enforce it. 

  • jeff4093

    I’m not a lawyer, but since you were common law this could be considered accumulated debt. Ask a lawyer for your options

  • Wendel7171

    Just to be a different voice. You have lots of ideas here. But thank you for being a generous person. She took advantage of your generosity, and you learned a lesson. But in your heart you tried to help someone who asked for help. Good luck.­ƒìÇ

  • andreacanadian

    IANAL but I have too been a silly person to do this for someone else you are not alone my friend. Having said that your only option at this time is to file a small claims court action against her. You could do it on your own, and it would cost you in filing fees and the like. If she is not a good credit risk, which she is likely not by the sounds of it, she probably wouldnt pay a judgement anyway. So I would use this option as a last resort.

    Next option is to ask her to make her payments on time and that if she cant perhaps you two could work out a payment schedule on a weekly basis? She seems like she might do this who knows.

    And finally option 3. You could go and apply for a consumer proposal for yourself, this would screw your credit over for the next 6 years, but its not as bad as a bankruptcy and as long as you keep paying your other bills cell phone etc you could recover quite quickly.

    In the grand scheme of things you made a costly mistake, I get it, we do things when we think we are in it for the long haul. And now its going to cost you to fix that mistake. But a mistake I assume you wont make again.

  • Irishrebels

    you can sue her as you gave her loan

  • whoosa

    Jesus 35k, you really canÔÇÖt trust anyone. I donÔÇÖt know how to help but I hope you get it back.

  • Intelligent-Can367

    It seems to me this is financial abuse. It may be worth speaking to the lender if its a bank etc as they have processes for that

  • Elegant_Treacle_2173

    OP, the people telling you to go to small claims court have no clue what they are talking about. 35 k is above the threshold for most small claims courts. Most likely you’ll have to retain a lawyer and file suit against her in state court

    Keep all your screenshots as you may be able to establish a written agreement because she agreed to pay you back (via text)

  • juilianj19

    This is an expensive lesson learned and hopefully you will never do something like this again. You can sue but you canÔÇÖt get blood from a stone . She probably has no money for you to get . You owe the loan so pay it . If you go to court, that will cost you more money to get a lawyer and that is not guaranteed to get you payment. If you are struggling, do some overtime and/or get a second job. IÔÇÖm sorry you are dealing with this .

  • the_amberdrake

    Any chance he could pursue it as fraud on the girlfriends part? It’s pretty suspicious timing that the moment she got the money she decided she didn’t want to be with him anymore.

  • Reasonable-Net-8314

    If you lived as common law defacto for that period of time then I would suspect that the debts incurred may be considered as joint debts. You may however be able to claim that she has responsibility for one half of the money you gave her. Probably best to get some legal advice though.

  • Own_Set_6148

    You took out a 35K loan to pay off your girlfriendÔÇÖs debt..? Really?

    YouÔÇÖre clearly not the brightest bulb in the box. ┬á

    Maybe I could understand if she was in a life or death situation in a foreign hospital but to pay off debt? wtf? 

    Yeah, civil court is your only option now, but good luck getting your money back. 

  • CosmosOZ

    I think you can sue in a small claim court for up to $35K and donÔÇÖt need a lawyer. It would be better if you can get a lawyer but if you donÔÇÖt have the money, just go through the small claim court.

    Make sure to show how your tried many ways to get payment but she refused. Send her email and registered mail to prove how you did a lot of work to resolve this out of court.

    You only have 2 years to file this from the time you figure out she scammed you.

  • Wongon32

    IANAL. It wouldÔÇÖve been much better if youÔÇÖd got her to sign something. The texts say she has promised to pay you back right? But is there any time limit on it? Did you set conditions? That x amount would be paid at a specific time? The more specific the expectations were for her to pay back, specifying exact amounts dates and times, will be helpful in legal proceedings. It also helps if it was stated somewhere when agreeing to the loan that legal proceedings would be brought within a set timeframe again, if the earlier stated conditions werenÔÇÖt met.

    So everything you have that is less specific etc that doesnÔÇÖt include such set conditions, will hinder your chances to get a satisfactory result through the courts. If you donÔÇÖt have it stated anywhere that she agreed to paying back at a specific time, then you will likely find it more difficult for a judgement to be made against her.

    In relationships, often conditions arenÔÇÖt clearly specified and your ex gf may argue that there wasnÔÇÖt a set time etc, it was just when they could afford it and circumstances have now shifted that she canÔÇÖt be reasonably expected to pay it back etc.

    IÔÇÖd advise going to see a lawyer just so they can advise you on whether the evidence of your texts is strong enough to bring a case. Or if thereÔÇÖs a free service, see if you can utilise that.

  • TheRealRickDalton8

    This might be one of those tough life lessons that you have to learn the hard way. A friend of mine went through a similar situation where he gave his ex a 15k ÔÇ£loanÔÇØ and he never saw a dime.

    Having said that, go and talk to a lawyer. Lawyer fees will be insignificant if you can get your money back. And obviously keep all your text messages and any other evidence you may have against her.

    Not sure if you were common law or not but that will probably play a big part as well.

    Good luck