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# Confusion and Concerns: Handling a Custody Dispute with the Help of AI Legalese Decoder

Hello, I apologize I’ve never been in a situation like this and genuinely don’t know what to do. Me and my ex broke up about 6 months ago and we have one daughter who is about to be 2 in June. When we broke up we were living in another city and had to return to the city we were from in Arizona. Ever since we moved back I’ve had the baby the majority of the time. My daughter suffers from eczema and has to have ointment put on her daily to prevent her from scratching really bad, whenever I would receive the baby from her mother her skin would be really red from scratching and have little cuts everywhere. She would also usually have a diaper rash as if my ex wasn’t changing her diaper for the few days she had her.

Anyways yesterday was Mothers and she asked if she could take the baby for the day and bring her back that night I said yes because I genuinely wanted the baby to spend some time with her mother, she picked the baby up around 12pm. Around 7:50pm she texted me asking if I was ready for the baby I said yes just bring her over whenever. Before I explain what happened next I need to give a little context on the babies diaper bag. A couple days prior I had taken the baby to my sisters for dinner and my sister was using a lot of spices so my shirt had a smell on it from the cooking so I took that shirt off in her dining room put it in the diaper bag and put a different shirt on. Well I forgot to take my shirt out of the diaper bag because we were home and not going anywhere for a few days so I wasn’t using the diaper bag because I keep her diapers and other necessities outside of the diaper bag. When I was packing the diaper bag I was in a bit of a rush and didn’t see my shirt was still in there.

After I told her to bring the baby whenever, she called me and started screaming that I was disgusting and that I fucked up and lost all rights to my daughter. I was obviously confused so I asked what she was talking about and she sent me a picture of my shirt and a pair of laced women’s underwear that was supposedly in the diaper bag. That underwear was not placed in there by me and I told her that repeatedly and she kept saying she didn’t trust me and that I’m not seeing my daughter ever again. While she was on the phone yelling at me I sent my sister the picture and asked if they were hers and she said they didn’t belong to her or my mom. In a panic not thinking of other possibilities I told my sister to just say they were hers and I screenshot that and sent it to my ex. She hung up on me and we have had no contact since.

After talking to my sister and brother I realized there’s a possibility the underwear was planted by my ex or her mother, my ex had told me multiple times that her mother would ask her when she would take the baby away from me so she could be theirs. Her mother is an all around horrible person who is constantly trying to manipulate her children and is on record saying she wishes my ex wasn’t born.

Me and my ex had a verbal agreement that we would do 50/50 custody but it was never taken to court and we were never married but I did sign my daughters birth certificate. Can she take my daughter away from me for something I didn’t do? Also what do I need to do? I’m just some 24 year old dude. Sorry about all the poor grammar I’ve been fighting this feeling of constant anxiety. If there is any clarification need just ask.

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8 Comments

  • LollyBatStuck

    Without a custody agreement this is going to be very hard. Police will likely say it’s a civil matter, you’re going to need to take her to court and get a custody agreement laid out.

  • ScottEATF

    You need to get a lawyer and file for a custody arrangement to be put in place.

    I don’t know why you or your ex think underwear being in the diaper bag is somehow going to result in her being able to unilaterally take custody or you losing custody.

    It’s just not relevant and a judge is not going look kindly on someone disrupting what was a seemingly amicable custody situation over an accusation of what? That you, a non-married individual is in a relationship with a women who wears underwear?

    Your ex’s plan is extraordinarily not thought out, but you absolutely can not manage this relationship without a court ordered custody plan in place. The ship has sailed on avoiding that.

  • Embarrassed_Suit_942

    You need to get a lawyer asap.

  • YourMothersButtox

    You need a family lawyer and to get a custody agreement in place ASAP. Without a proper custody order, your verbal agreement isn’t going to do much in terms of calling the cops to get baby back. Might be smart to collect certain paper trails, like insurance, proof of receipt for baby’s eczema cream, etc.

  • neuro_ek

    Nal, but I do suggest that you make sure you save all text messages in regards to the baby and any communication you have with your ex or family members. Additionally if you’re in Arizona, it’s a 1 party consent state, meaning that you can record any phone conversation without needing the other parties consent. Make sure to protect yourself against any potential accusations that could be made against you.

    Edit: forgot to say keep a Record of everything that happens, whether you write it by hand in a notebook, google docs, or your phone notes. Make notes of conversations when they occurred. And keep notes on the baby ( such as she dropped the baby off with rashes etc )

  • DSaive

    You need to quit screwing around and get a formal custody order entered by court.

  • Frix

    You need a lawyer NOW!

  • Lcdmt3

    Get a lawyer. Not on the birth certificate, and learn never to have verbal custody agreements