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The chaos surrounding efforts to choose a new speaker of the House may be less than ideal for the nation, but itÔÇÖs practically a gift to ÔÇ£Saturday Night Live,ÔÇØ which satirized House RepublicansÔÇÖ political turmoil in an opening sketch this weekend.

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The broadcast began with Mikey Day playing Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio, who on Friday lost a secret ballot vote to remain the RepublicansÔÇÖ nominee for the speakership after losing a third vote for the position on the House floor.

Speaking on a phone in his office, a seemingly calm Day said, ÔÇ£No, I didnÔÇÖt win, honey. No, not this time either. ItÔÇÖs OK. IÔÇÖm feeling good.ÔÇØ Then after completing the call he broke the receiver in two.

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ÔÇ£Some of us are here to actually serve the American people,ÔÇØ Day said angrily. ÔÇ£All I want to do is get Congress back to work so I can shut it down again.ÔÇØ

An assistant (Heidi Gardner) offered him a new phone and introduced a visitor: Representative George Santos (Bowen Yang), who was holding a baby.

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Asked why he had the baby, Yang answered, ÔÇ£No one seems to know.ÔÇØ He handed it to Gardner and said, ÔÇ£Just put him in an Uber.ÔÇØ

Offering his consolations to Day, Yang said, ÔÇ£I want you to know I voted for you and ÔÇö get this ÔÇö so did Shoshanna Loggins.ÔÇØ Day asked, ÔÇ£WhoÔÇÖs that?ÔÇØ Yang responded, ÔÇ£Also me.ÔÇØ

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Day asked him if he should try running for speaker one more time. ÔÇ£Well, look, I would be lying if I said yes,ÔÇØ Yang answered. ÔÇ£So, yes.ÔÇØ Then he took a call on his cellphone that he said was from Tupac: ÔÇ£Girl, I know,ÔÇØ Yang said into his phone. ÔÇ£Jada is crazy.ÔÇØ

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Day received a call from Representative Lauren Boebert (Chloe Fineman), who offered her support while a hand reached in from offscreen and groped her. ÔÇ£Are you out somewhere?ÔÇØ Day asked her. ÔÇ£Yeah,ÔÇØ Fineman said, ÔÇ£I gotta go. IÔÇÖm at the theater seeing ÔÇÿAladdin.ÔÇÖÔÇØ

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Finally, Day was visited in his office by former President Donald J. Trump (James Austin Johnson). ÔÇ£Yoo-hoo, is this the loserÔÇÖs office?ÔÇØ Johnson asked as he knocked and entered.

ÔÇ£You endorsed me and then you kind of disappeared,ÔÇØ Day told him.

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ÔÇ£Yeah, well, thatÔÇÖs because I prefer the Jordans who win, OK?ÔÇØ Johnson said. ÔÇ£Like the great Michael Jordan or the even greater Jordin Sparks. ÔÇÿNo Air,ÔÇÖ remember that? Now that was a song. Tell me how IÔÇÖm supposed to breathe with no air? You canÔÇÖt. You canÔÇÖt do it.ÔÇØ

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Johnson boasted heÔÇÖd make a great speaker himself if he werenÔÇÖt otherwise occupied. ÔÇ£Sadly, IÔÇÖll be too busy campaigning, traveling from city to city, visiting their beautiful courtrooms,ÔÇØ he said.

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Weekend Update jokes of the week

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che riffed on President BidenÔÇÖs diplomatic efforts during the Israel-Hamas War, and RepublicansÔÇÖ struggles to choose a new Speaker of the House.

Jost began:

In what many people are calling a high point of his term, President Biden gave multiple speeches this week in which he issued the same strong warning to anyone thinking about attacking Israel. And here was his message: [The screen showed a video montage of Biden saying, ÔÇ£DonÔÇÖt. DonÔÇÖt. DonÔÇÖt.ÔÇØ] I wonÔÇÖt. I really like that Biden only needs one word to get his point across. HeÔÇÖs basically the Groot of presidents. But to give you an idea of how effective ÔÇ£DonÔÇÖtÔÇØ is, itÔÇÖs the same thing Biden says to his dog right before it bites another Secret Service agent.

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Che continued:

Jim Jordan, seen here describing how he attacks the nipple, is no longer the nominee for House speaker after Republicans dropped him Friday, which by the way heÔÇÖs used to because he was dropped a lot as a child. Potential new candidates for speaker include Tom Emmer, Kevin Hern, Jack Bergman, and six more candidates who are clearly George Santos. [The screen showed six images of George Santos in obvious disguises.]

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In summary, the AI legalese decoder can help individuals navigate through complex legal and political situations by decoding legal language, clarifying procedures and decision-making processes, and providing insights into the complexities of political systems. It enhances comprehension and understanding, allowing individuals to engage more effectively with current events and satirical content like the opening sketch on “Saturday Night Live.”

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