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## Single Father’s Dilemma: Dealing with Custody and Child Support Issues

I am a single father who has been the primary caregiver for my 6-year-old daughter for the past year. The situation with her mother, with whom I never married but lived together for a few years, has become complicated since August 2022. Despite not having established court custody, we agreed to split custody time as we live a few blocks apart.

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The mother’s substance addiction has added another layer of complexity to the situation. In May 2023, she brought our daughter to urgent care, where suspicions of drug use arose, leading to involvement from the authorities. Despite the lack of direct evidence found by the police, Child Protective Services (CPS) launched an investigation. Efforts to contact the mother proved unsuccessful, prompting CPS to reach out to me and our daughter’s school for interviews. Ultimately, the CPS investigation yielded an inconclusive result, bringing some temporary relief.

However, a new development emerged when I unexpectedly received a letter from LA County child support services, informing me that the mother was ordered to pay child support. This unexpected turn of events raised questions about the involvement of the case worker and a potential court order during the investigation.

### Navigating a Complex Legal Situation

Amidst these challenges, the mother entered drug treatment in September, claiming three months of sobriety. She now seeks custody and plans to relocate our daughter 500 miles away to Napa, California, from our current residence in Long Beach. Given my daughter’s established routine and community ties, I am hesitant to agree to such a significant move, especially with the child support case still pending.

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8 Comments

  • EndlessCrisis

    Did you apply for any government assistance? Usually a child support case doesn’t open up unless you do it yourself or you get on state assistance.

    Also I would file for full custody through the court.

  • Juicy_fruit_315

    I’m not sure about the child support situation. I know if you apply for any type of govt assistance they will want to see that the other parent is paying support and if not , they order them to.

    As far as the mother being clean for a split second, I don’t think it would be a good idea at all for her to take her 500 miles away. I agree she should stay with you. So if I was you I would be filing for custody immediately! Because the mother CAN and may take off with her. And there won’t be a damn thing you or the cops or anyone else can do about it even if you did find her.

  • Such-Transportation8

    I would call child support immediately and find out exactly why a case opened. Then you should explain that you are fearful it will trigger a custody battle and explain why it is not in the child’s interest. See if they can mark the case as you having safety concerns and lay off collecting on mom until after you have custody firmly established.

  • Acceptable_Branch588

    You need to file for custody immediately. If your daughter was listed for any kind of social services they probably ordered support

  • billygoat616

    Without a pre established order ,she could take the child away and you wouldn’t be able to do a thing except file paperwork ,don’t let her have possession of her till a custody order is in place ,until them the cops won’t even be able to give the child to you ,it seems the mother already knows this information.

  • SpicyLatina213

    It sounds like bc mother was to no avail, it reflects her character as “absent.” This is my assumption, it sounds like CPS favored your custody situation and submitted forms to get you child support since mother is no avail from their behalf. They’re looking out for you and hoping mother begins to reach out after this motion to initiate child support. They may still investigate her.

  • newportlocalnowinLB

    Hi I applied for Medi- Cal for myself before all of this happened and did not include my daughter. Her Mother has our daughter on Medi- Cal and herself also. I agree on the full custody too. Thanks.

  • WishPeopleWerentdumb

    Well, you do not actually get to dictate that… unless the judge agrees.

    Typically a long distance parenting plan would be initiated. I would honestly show the judge you wish to do what is best for your child…. Look into a long distance plan. Appoint you the parent who has school designation. The other parent can get breaks and whatnot.

    To say “I am not going to allow….” says something. I’m saying this now because the judge will feel this way too. While you’re in the inventions may be pure… This will sound like you feel that you are the judge.