- May 8, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Parenting a Troubled Child: Dealing with Legal Issues and Incarceration
My son, a young individual, has unfortunately found himself in a cycle of arrests and imprisonment. Despite being given probation multiple times, he continued to make poor choices that resulted in his incarceration for several more years. As a parent, I am faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to allow him to come back home upon his release.
The constant police searches of my home and the strain of being consistently lied to by my son have taken a toll on me. My husband shares my concerns and worries about where our son will go if we do not take him in. While he understood the consequences of his actions, I am unsure if I can continue to enable his behavior by allowing him to return home.
It has been over a year since I last spoke to my son, who is currently in prison. My husband maintains contact with him and provides support in the form of money and communication. Despite the challenges we face, I remain hopeful that my son will eventually make better choices and refrain from hurting others.
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The first time it’s support. The second time it’s understanding. The third time it’s enabling.
You’re doing the right thing. I hope he gets the help that he needs and that you can find some kind of peace.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. He is not doing the one right thing he is supposed to do and rehabilitate. He needs to tighten up and do the right thing. I’m don’t know where your from but in s.c. if you continue to have offenses against you they will put you in a what is svp housing until you complete all treatment deemed necessary by the state. It is basically prison for sex offenders only. I am praying for you I have super supportive parents just like you are and I hate to see this happen but like I said, you are doing the right thing. Hopefully, there is some halfway house that can help him. That would be an option for you to do to show him that tough love thing that parents do so well. Big hugs to ya 🤗 and lots of prayers.
You’re no longer enabling him. You’re doing the right thing. I’m so sorry you as a mother are having to draw such a major boundary that I can not fathom. I will be thinking of you and hoping for your peace.
You are doing the right thing. You have to for your mental health and his well being as well cut him off until he figures his life out. Your husband should as well.
Has he had an evaluation? If he continues to do the same thing over and over without consideration of the consequences or the other people affected then it’s irrational compulsive behavior and may need to go somewhere he can get intensive treatment, this type of thing isn’t something that one just grows out of or has a self realization about. It’s a shame that as far as my state or my knowledge in any state has halfway houses for. If you let him come back and I’m right then it’s not going to stop. The prison system doesn’t do this, group therapy for SOs in regards to most providers isn’t intensive enough.
Many people cut off / disown their children if they fail to achieve a minimal level of success in life, or otherwise become too much of an embarrassment. Blood bonds really aren’t as strong as they are made out to be.
You and your husband are doing the right thing. I can tell you love your son very much. And want the ever best for him. You also want him to be well and be able to enjoy life like you do. But your son is sick. And he needs special help. But at the same time, he needs to want the help as well.
Prison has not been able to make it tuff or ruff enough to make him want to change. I don’t know how old or what state he is in. But their are behavior modification programs after prison.
Please remember your son most likely does not want to hurt anyone mentally, but the urge to have sex with a teen is so great in his mind it over rides normal thinking. He is not stupid he knows he goes to prison if caught. Yet he can’t seem to stop that thought at that moment.
Medications, behavior programs, and very strict mentors to keep an eye on him all the time. And I am sorry, truly I am. But if none works being locked up in a mental hospital, it may be the only thing left in the end.
Just to let you know, I am not crazy.i am not an RSO. But I had a legal problem with kids 32 yrs ago, and I have a degree in child physiology. I help run a behavior modification program in NY.
My parents gave me 3 changes along with the courts to do the right thing . Not all against kids. Only 1 was I had a lot of trouble growing up, and the answer was meds, behavior modification program, and mental hospital when I was a teen. Not all worked, but together, over time, it did.
So, as for your question, your best support now is to stay healthy and mentally well. And support your husband. But at the same time, you need to have your husband explain to your son things will be very different when he gets out. He will not return home and upset the family again. And if he does not get extra help when he gets out to make sure he get better in life, you cut him off altogether. Your husband has to be on board.
I’m here for you if you have any questions or want to just talk. Please PM me. I also pray for your son that he finds his way.
I’m so sorry you are going through that. I can’t really imagine having to cut my son off. Sending prayers and healing your way
He had had multiple chances. Cut off cash but it’s ok to give him grocery gift cards. If there is a situation that can help him get back on track, maybe consider helping with that. But subsidizing his life needs to end. My philosophy is the first arrest must be the last offense. That means there could be more than 1 offenses, but first time you are held responsible you have a duty to change and make sure there are no more victims.
Long-term residential program. Also there are Juvenile Sex Offender Programs throughout the U.S.
Hate to say it, but you can’t help him if he is not willing to attempt change, and if he is cracking now, it’ll likely only get worse especially if he actually tries living a “normal” life.
There is a mental fortitude and constant reminder how you’re better off dead than living in this hypocritical society. Those few depending on the nature of their habit will fall back on the familiar.
Condolences, life is beautiful and cruel and too often too hard to tell which is favored more.
May you find peace in the choice you have to make.
Tough love. It’s tough on everybody. He needs help, but he must want it for himself first. Let him know you love him, but that he is responsible for his actions – now, in the past, and in the future.
It’s time for the tuff love I agree at this point it’s enabling him to continue to allow him back especially if he continues to act out.
Your son still needs support. If you abandon him he will almost certainly continue along the path he is on. It is, as you are seeing, time for tough love though. Rent should be due at the very least, he needs to be working, it’ll help keep him out of trouble.
what were his charges?
How old is your son?
My son is in prison for SO and he has schizophrenia. They gave him 12 years and it was his first offense. His charge was second degree sexual assault with domestic enhancement. He and I both know that when he gets out he won’t be able to meet the terms of his porous because he’s two states away and I can’t help him. Part of me thinks I should move to that state and take care of him but the reality is that my life matters and I don’t have to sacrifice it for him. If I could make the move without disrupting my career and the lives of my other children I would but realistically that’s not an option for me. I feel so guilty because I had him very young and I feel that part of the reason he is where he is is my fault because I didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve recently figured out that my son does not want to admit what he has done and that is why he is struggling so much. I’m not sure if your son is admitting his culpability or not, but I am hoping that is the key to rehabilitation in my sons case despite his severe mental illness.