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As a mother who has dedicated the past 10 years to raising my children and supporting my partner, I am now facing a devastating realization. The person I have been with all these years has been leading a double life, maintaining a relationship with his wife while living with me. This deception has understandably shaken my world, leaving me feeling isolated and unsure of my options moving forward.

The situation is further complicated by the fact that I have sacrificed my education, career, and relationships at the request of my partner. I am now in a position where I have limited resources and support to navigate this difficult situation. I am concerned about the well-being and future of my children, particularly in the event that I do not qualify for common-law status and thus may not have a legal claim to financial support or custody rights.

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With the support of AI Legalese Decoder, I can approach this challenging situation with greater confidence and understanding. By leveraging accurate legal insights and connecting with relevant resources, I can explore my options and take proactive steps to safeguard the well-being of my family. This includes determining the best course of action regarding custody rights, financial support, and legal proceedings, ensuring that I am equipped to make informed decisions about confronting my partner and seeking the necessary legal support.

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18 Comments

  • xerxespoon

    DonÔÇÖt confront him yet. Talk to a family law attorney first. Once he knows that you know, theyÔÇÖre all sorts of things he could do. He could lock you out of all of the bank accounts and disappear. You need to prepare for him finding out that you found out. And that means you need to talk to a family law attorney and come up with a strategy. IÔÇÖm so sorry youÔÇÖre going through this.

  • icecoldcarr0ts

    Keep quiet. Make a plan.
    Talk to a lawyer.
    Reconnect with family and friends in secret.
    Do not do anything without a plan in place. This sounds hard and scary.
    But you need to be smart.
    Delete all your history delete this account.
    He probably goes through your phone.
    Try get a free session with a lawyer. Keep everything off bank records.
    Delete all evidence and any trails he may find out.
    IÔÇÖm so sorry

  • _Elisabeth__

    Has made sure you donÔÇÖt have any Way out by cutting your future (Education) and isolation you from friends and family.

    You need to be very carefull, or it could end in his favor very quickly!

  • findingausernameokay

    You need to start looking after yourself. Buy an iPad or something that he wonÔÇÖt have access to. Create a new email, create new Apple account. Open a new Reddit account and other accounts on there. Conduct everything with a lawyer through your new email so that he canÔÇÖt access what you are doing. Go to a bank, open yourself a bank account. Start taking some money and putting it in there. Use the cards heÔÇÖs given you, take out small amounts of cash or do cash back when you purchase at your regular stores and make cash deposits into your bank account. You will want to have an emergency fund in case he cuts you off. You should also get a credit card through your new bank so that you can start to build a credit history. Not sure if he checks your mail. I think you can have it set up that everything is electronic so nothing comes to the house. You need to be an adult and take charge of your life for you and your kids. You have to start establishing your own resources that he canÔÇÖt take away or control.

  • Jollydancer

    I am pretty sure that at least some of your old friends and family saw the situation for what it was and know that you cut them out because of an abusive partner. At least some of them will be willing (and happy) to take you back into the fold if you contact them. I would.

  • Hendursag

    Before you do anything else, talk to an attorney. If you have anything from him worth real money that he gave you, put them somewhere safe (a safe deposit box). If you can, save some of your grocery money going forward.

    Do not talk to him until you have a plan made with your attorney.

  • academicjanet

    Have you established paternity? Do you know his real name?

  • DAMSELindistrss

    Wow. OP, how did you figure this out? Does he have any children from his wife?
    My best friend was with a man for 7 years and he was living a double life and she had no idea! She packed up her entire life and moved home and started over. She didnÔÇÖt have children which made things a little easier.
    IÔÇÖm so so sorry. I would start taking money out of the ATM and setting it aside or when you go grocery shopping I would get cash back. He wouldnÔÇÖt be able to tell you got cash back unless you show him the receipt. Does he question you when you use the bank account? On his next ÔÇ£business trip,ÔÇØI would consult with an attorney. Here in the states, most of them offer a free consultation. He sounds very manipulative and IÔÇÖm afraid once heÔÇÖs confronted heÔÇÖll cut you off from everything. Be smart and good luck.

  • janthinajanthina

    I’m not a lawyer and I have no advice, but since you’re concerned for your children’s futures, I just want to say: they will have a better life with their loving mother in public school (if it comes to that) than they will in private school with a duplicitous father. I fully understand your desire to keep them in private school. But if you have to choose, a safe mother and a safe home is far more important. From what you’ve described, it’s in the best interest of all four of you to have an escape plan.

    I wish you the best.

  • Foreign_Fall_8266

    You need to get out even if it means going to a shelter. He will have to pay you child support regardless of marital status

  • Psychological-Law205

    IÔÇÖm sorry you are going through this I hope you find a path that is secured and safe and stable for you and your children hopefully when everything is brought to the light things donÔÇÖt go left but goes in your favor

  • Ok_Math_3548

    This is textbook psychopathy

  • Sandpapersilk

    How did this work from a financial perspective?
    Surely those school fees arent easy to hide from the wife

  • 63mann

    What about talking to the police? They might be able to assist you with a safe place.

  • Trickytori84

    Get a burner phone if you can, asap

  • Accomplished-Dot4752

    This is scary

  • Qwertop1234

    If heÔÇÖs from America, then his marriage in Canada is nullified. It doesnÔÇÖt count as adultery unless youÔÇÖre catholic! Ride out the free private school tuition until you drop his rich, sexy ass. ­ƒÿÄ

  • SnooTomatoes9819

    You need to keep quiet as others have suggested. Start withdrawing money slowly, reconnect with family and enroll in a course to get some kind of training. Work on your resume. I highly recommend getting a job first before doing anything.