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## Outing with a Customer in NYC: Allegations of Theft

### Background
Recently, a 60-year-old customer treated me and my friends to a lavish night out in New York City, where he spent $6,000 on bottles and also carried some cash. However, the next day, he claimed that $1,300 had been stolen from his wallet while he was asleep. He is now accusing one of my friends of theft, even though she maintains her innocence.

### Current Situation
It has been several months since the incident, and the customer is now seeking to press charges against my friend for the alleged theft. However, there is no concrete evidence linking her to the missing money, and the customer’s accusations seem baseless given the time lapse since the incident.

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12 Comments

  • KidenStormsoarer

    if you’re asking if he can just tell the police to arrest your friend, and they do so no questions asked, no. he can ACCUSE your friend, the police investigate, and if evidence is found, the DA presses charges. but they’re not just going to arrest your friend with no evidence.

  • IllPraline610

    He canā€™t press charges on someone by himself. He can raise it to the authorities for investigation, but thatā€™s it.

  • theawkwardcourt

    As others in this thread have indicated, there is no such thing as “pressing charges” for private persons. This is a common misconception. Criminal charges are investigated by the police, who then refer cases to a prosecuting attorney. Only a prosecutor – the District Attorney, for state crimes, or United States Attorney, for federal crimes – can bring criminal charges before a court. A crime victim can make a report of a crime to the police, and cooperate with the DA in making their case, but that’s all. They can’t legally compel, or refuse, any prosecution.

    (This is, I grant, confusing, because police officers will sometimes ask people if they want to “press charges.” What the police mean, when they ask this, is, *if we go to the trouble of arresting this person and referring the case to the DA, will you cooperate by showing up and testifying?* In some cases, a victim’s cooperation is essential and the police don’t want to waste their time on cases in which this essential witness is not interested. But if there is other evidence available, the police will not feel bound by the victim’s wishes in the matter.)

    So when you say this person is “trying to press charges,” I don’t know what you mean. Have you been contacted by a lawyer? by law enforcement? This dude himself?

    If you’re approached by law enforcement personnel and accused of a crime, the only safe thing to do is to say “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to answer any questions, and I want a lawyer please.” Say that, then *stop talking*. Seriously, stop talking. This is not always easy – and the police are trained to make it harder. The police know that you want to defend yourself. People desperately want to be believed, to tell their side of the story. Knowing this, the police will encourage them to talk. The police can encourage you to believe that, if you only say the right things, they will see how right you are and let you go. This is a lie. **The police lie.** They lie about the law, about the evidence they may have, and about their intentions – and if you say something self-incriminating, even in response to a lie, it can be admitted as evidence against you, and you can lose whatever legal defense you may have. Do not fall for it. Do not believe anything the police tell you. They are lying. Ask for a lawyer. Say you don’t want to answer any questions. Shut up. This is the only way to defend yourself if you’re accused of a crime. Anything you say (as the saying goes) can be used against you – but your refusal to say anything cannot be used against you: that’s what it means, to have the right to remain silent.

    If you’ve received a communication from a lawyer, you may want to take it to your own attorney for review. Certainly you shouldn’t post the details on the internet.

    If you’ve been contacted by the guy himself, then mostly likely the best thing to say is nothing. You’re not going to win an argument with him, after all, so there’s no point in trying. Given that there’s a heavy suggestion of borderline-illegal or expressly illegal activities here, I would be a bit surprised if this guy wanted to bring the legal system into it at all.

  • WinginVegas

    Former Police officer – So given the situation AS YOU HAVE DESCRIBED THEM ONLY, then the reality is that nothing will come of this.
    Should he go to the police, they will take a report, which would be NYPD policy. They will ask for the names of everyone who was there that night but can’t compel any of you to give up names if they don’t have them already.

    Beyond that, this really isn’t something that is going to be prosecuted at all unless one of you decides to admit to robbing him. While the report would be taken, there is enough of a hole in the situation that it would be almost impossible to show that he didn’t just spend the money and doesn’t recall that. He could have seriously overtipped your server at the club. He could have dropped the money on the floor there.

    With no one stating that one of you (or someone else if he fell asleep there) actually took the money, no one could even state without reservations that the money was stolen and not spent or lost.

  • Dramatic_Flow3034

    So a bunch of 20 year olds use some perv 60 year old for an expensive night, wait for him to pass out and steal his money šŸ¤£.

  • No_Concern_2753

    Just admit you all robbed the dude…

  • lml-66

    First off donā€™t shit where you eat and two heā€™s allowed to press charges but whether thereā€™s enough to convict your friends is a whole other story. There has to be evidence of the theft having occurred.

  • [deleted]

    So the guy makes costumes for your job? What kind of job is it. I completely ignored everything else and focused on costumes because I want a job that needs costumes.

  • Creighton2023

    Of course he can press charges. The police will then investigate and see if thereā€™s enough evidence for an arrest.

  • ArtNJ

    The police will always ask about the reasons for a delay like this, but in this case “I was thinking about whether I wanted to press charges” should be a mostly sufficient answer to that. Particularly since y’all admit that he asked about the money the next day — so its not like he suddenly decided the money was missing months later.

    So the much bigger issue is that by waiting, the chance that there is any video from the place is probably gone. You know, assuming he didn’t say anything to the club and they didn’t pull the video. Unless someone at the table says something suspicious or someone at the club somehow remembers anything, this is probably going nowhere for lack of evidence.

  • traversecity

    ā€œPressing Chargesā€ is a TV trope.

    He might have met with the jurisdictionā€™s prosecutor office, perhaps an assistant DA, presenting his story. From there the prosecutorā€™s office will decide if a crime was committed, then maybe, they might seek an arrest warrant.

    This fellow can press all he wants, ainā€™t happening without the prosecutor.