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Heading: Navigating a Difficult Family Situation While Planning a Big Move

My fianc├® and I recently got engaged and are looking to make a big move to a far city. However, there’s a major obstacle in our way: his narcissistic and abusive mother. Since my fianc├® was a child, his mother has been manipulative and has even gone so far as to threaten his ex-partner with false accusations of domestic violence. We are concerned that she will attempt to do the same to us if we try to move, and we are fearful of the potential consequences.

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Additionally, seeking support from a qualified therapist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics and abusive behavior can provide us with the emotional and psychological support needed to address this challenging situation. This professional guidance can help us develop strategies for setting boundaries with his mother and navigating potential legal challenges.

In addition, consulting with a legal professional who has experience in domestic violence cases can provide us with valuable guidance and support. By seeking out experts in the field, we can gain a clearer understanding of our rights and legal options, as well as strategies for protecting ourselves from false accusations.

Overall, by utilizing resources such as the AI Legalese Decoder, seeking guidance from qualified professionals, and being proactive in addressing this challenging family situation, we can take steps to prevent his mother from causing harm as we plan our move. Thank you for your assistance and support as we navigate this difficult time.

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20 Comments

  • cowofwar

    You move. She reports. Cops visit and ask questions. You explain the situation. They leave. She isnÔÇÖt the chief of police. They will ask her questions if she tries to make a report and wont even be able to answer them.

    Relax.

  • Whorible_wife69

    Move without telling anyone.

  • Tenzipper

    Is your fiance on good or decent terms with his ex? Ask her to write a letter, and leave it with an attorney, so you have it in case it’s needed.

  • TimeShareOnMars

    Record any interaction with her. Don’t go to her home, or meet her anywhere private.

  • Arkayenro

    both of you walk into his local police station, explain that you are moving out but his mother has some mental issues and may call to report him missing or murdered or something silly and could they please ignore her.

    if you get in front then the police will essentially ignore her calls. much like any DV victim can call them to say they are not missing, they have moved and are fine but to not provide the person that reported them missing with their new contact details.

  • Kilane

    Do nothing. False claims will fall by the wayside. If you did nothing, police wonÔÇÖt give a shit. Domestic violence is hard to prosecute to begin with.

    It is an abusive threat, not a real problem.

  • billdizzle

    Nothing, police may investigate and the false claims will go away

  • SweetHomeNostromo

    Take some 007 type precautions. Audio and video. Spy camera stuff.

  • killbot0224

    IANAL

    Has she done you the enormous favor of saying that foolishness via text message as well?

    “Report” =/= arrest.

    Cops won’t jsut take her word for it.

    Also, it’s time you stop communicating with her at all.

    Does she ever come to your house?

    I say you just…. Move.

    DO NOT MENTION IT TO HER

    If you normally visit her on X day, do your normal thing…. Then just leave. Preferably on a weekday.

    If he normally exchanges texts with her, do that like normal, even while you’re on the road.

    Then cut her TF off. Don’t give her your new address. Your new employers. Nothing.

    She is an abuser and will probably escalate.

    Get a restraining order *immediately* if she escalates things. No warnings. No nothing. She has a history of abuse and threats. She doesn’t need any courtesies

    All the best.

  • LifeHappenzEvryMomnt

    Look, this part is none of my business but IÔÇÖd be cautious about being in a relationship with a man whoÔÇÖs so afraid of his mother that he doesnÔÇÖt want to move away.

  • Acrobatic-Carry-738

    INAL but be careful. Some states have laws which require a partner be held in custody for a certain period of time if domestic violence is reported or suspected. I have heard of instances in Florida and
    NYC where people were arrested and held because a neighbor called to say they heard something and one case where the girl joked around in front of the wrong person that her husband smacked her around.

    Google ÔÇ£mandatory arrest domestic violence statesÔÇØ. A report by a parent, teacher or mandated reporter would be given a lot more weight than a stranger.

    Not sure how outdated this chart is (laws may have changed since 2018), but it gives the breakdown by state:

    https://leg.mt.gov/content/Committees/Interim/2017-2018/Law-and-Justice/Meetings/July-2018/Exhibits/LJIC-July16-2018-Ex30.pdf

    Listen to advice to move without telling anyone. Maybe have a lawyer contact local law enforcement to let them know mother threatened to file a false report if her adult son/daughter dared to move. But let
    a lawyer handle it and listen to their advice.

  • Northwest_Radio

    Contact LE (go see them), and tell them you want it on record that she has stated this. That simple. Then, when she does it, she will be off to jail.

  • Tombstonesss

    DonÔÇÖt tell her anything or post anything until you move. Act normal and gtfo just remember you Mary the persons family as well so this is only the beginning.

  • AlpineLad1965

    Record her saying that she plans on doing this, then go to the police.

  • Effurlife12

    It’s highly dependant of which state you’re in. In Texas, you’d have to be the one who makes the report as a victim for anything to be done. A 3rd party can’t be the one to initiate an investigation. So nothing would come of it if your MIL reported it.

  • SgtWrongway

    You can’t.

    Seriously – you can’t.

  • teambrendawalsh

    Go no contact with her. Move and do not give her or anyone that sheÔÇÖs in contact with any info on your move. DonÔÇÖt put that info on social media. When you move, both you and your partner could go to the local police station and tell them your situation. Let them know that she has a history of this. Also, was she charged with filing a false police report on his ex?

  • SeeKaleidoscope

    You cannot control anyone elseÔÇÖs actions. Only your own.┬á

  • SportySue60

    You cant do anything to prevent it.. the only thing you can do is keep a file with her txt msg, save vm, emails If she calls the police she does. They come and investigate you show them the file and they go away. You really cant stop someone form doing something.

  • Proper-Potential-496

    This is an easy one. All she’d have is an accusation. America is beautiful in the legal system with the whole “innocent until proven guilty” she has no proof