- April 5, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## New Job and Financial Situation
I have recently landed a new job after being unemployed for the past 3 months. The job is expected to bring in a salary ranging from 90k-100k, depending on the size of bonuses throughout the year. This new income is a significant improvement, but living in Los Angeles comes with its own set of financial challenges.
## Discrepancy in Financial Priorities with Partner
In comparison to my partner, who currently earns a higher salary than me, I am aiming to focus on saving and making heavy investments. However, my partner’s priorities lie in frequent dining out and weekend shopping sprees, which has become a source of tension in our relationship. Despite being together for almost 3 years, we are struggling to find common ground on our financial goals.
## Seeking Advice on Addressing Financial Differences
I am looking for advice on how to communicate with my partner about the importance of slowing down on unnecessary expenses and aligning our financial goals. It can be challenging to navigate these discussions, especially when our perspectives on money management differ.
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We are a single income household (aside from a small side hustle) and have about $120k annual income in a medium cost of living area. It’s HARD to stay on budget, especially with eating out. It’s crucial for both partners to be on the same page. Luckily we are both pretty frugal. Here are some steps we’ve taken:
– try a “no spend day” each week
– only get drinks, snacks or desserts out of the house, no full meals
– try the envelope method, where you withdraw $100-$200 in cash and that’s your “fun” money for the month including eating out or any nonessentials
– making savings automatic on payday and don’t touch it
– talk about the weekly budget every week. We usually do this on Sundays. Talk about categories where we need to spend less. Make a plan together.
Here’s a different perspective. As the spouse who’s made more for most of the relationship, I felt like I never got to enjoy earning a lot because I was always supporting my husband. I paid off his car, paid down his student loans, saved for retirement, and paid all our bills for like 3-4 years. When he finally starting pulling his weight, I really wanted to splurge a little.
I was earning a lot more than most of my friends, and yet I didn’t have a nice watch or any nice clothes. I hadn’t gone on any big vacation that wasn’t work related. Anyway, I really needed a few months of treating myself before I could buckle down again. Maybe that’s what your SO needs. If you’re going to talk to her about her spending, I would do so with that info in mind.
I feel like more information is needed…are y’all in consumer debt? On track for retirement? Do you have a joint budget? Individual budgets? Joint vs. Individual accounts?
You two should operate as a team. You both should sit down together, communicate directly and show all your financial cards on the table. Set short-term and long-term financial goals and keep each other in the loop.
Assuming you are married and plan to stay that way,, you should stop thinking of it is your money/spending or her money/spending. You are instead a family. Both of your incomes and spending effect the other, as well as your future retirement. As such it’s good to get on the same page in terms of long term financial goals. Discuss what those long term goals are and try to find a compromise.
I think compromise is the solution.
Yall need to sit down and have a very honest conversation about what makes each other feel safe and what planning for the future looks like.
$200K/year is nice— provided you’re also funding an emergency fund, sinking funds (think car repairs, medical expenses, etc), retirement accounts, etc.
It’s really, *really* easy for lifestyle creep to catch up to you. Telling your partner “Hey, this doesn’t make me feel *safe* or heard. Can *we* work on a plan together so that I feel secure?”
My partner is very risk averse. She also makes significantly less than I do. So in our financial planning, I need to account for that. It doesn’t make sense to split things 50/50 when I make three times as much as she does. See what I’m saying? I cover bigger chunks of living expenses and dates so that she can increase her savings and 401k stuffs.
I’m also in LA and make quite a bit more than my gf, so we split finances so that she isn’t drowning while I’m sitting here piling cash. You just need to set some boundaries on your budget. I know it’s difficult here because there is just so much to do and so much to spend money on but you can still do all that and just space it out so it fits your budget.
I can see you wanting to save $$ and invest heavily but if she’s making good money too I could see how she wouldn’t want to just work work work and not getting to see the fruits of that labor in real time. Hopefully you are suggesting more of a compromise and not just “we can’t spend money”.
Assuming she’s willing to spend more to cover your finances since you make less, I think you should be okay with spending the money and enjoying yourselves. If your finances are completely separate then, well, I question the relationship. In my experience, if you are married or committed in a similar way, finances should be pooled and shared equally between the couple. This is very common for men being the primary earner but should also apply if the woman is the primary earner.
200k is a lot of money even in LA, or even in Bay Area.
A lot of people in LA make less than 200k and get by lol
This is a clear inflexion point for so many up-until-then successful couples. I don’t think there is a big rule that if followed guarantees success. It just depends so much on the two people involved and what happens around them. Personally there were times I felt I was working so hard my health was declining and the wife just wanted to spend at a level that retirement was going to be distant enough that I’d die before it would happen. There are a lot of moving parts. You gotta determine what works for you and then how much of that you can give up to meet your partner’s desires while not making yourself insane. A lot depends on how much you want to stick with the relationship. Good luck.
You gotta walk your own path, and set your boundaries with spending. It may be cliché but you have to pay yourself first.
Invest/save as soon as you get paid—direct deposit. It will make it easier to budget your remaining income. Also makes it easy to dollar cost average if you are investing in securities since the money will be deposited to your brokerage account at set times each month.
Best wishes
protect your wealth or else you’ll lose her when you’re both dead broke, if she leaves because you don’t want to blow your money, that’s on her
> I just want to save $$ and invest heavily…
>
>…she want to try out new restuarants and go shopping every weekend
Clearly you two don’t share the same values when it comes to money. I hope you two aren’t cohabitating or planning on getting married as that seems likely to end in disaster unless you two get on the same page.
Yeah, take your wife to Skid Row, not far from you….and tell her thats where your headed if you dont get a grip on it!
I have to disagree with some other folks and say that $200k is not much anywhere these days, and certainly not in LA, unless you already own a house with a low mortgage payment. I live in what many consider a LCOL area (I would consider it MCOL myself) and my partner and I make $205k combined, yet we are able to do far less than what my previous partner and I did from 2013-2016 making $70-80kish combined. (I would welcome tips from this sub, but my partner is making more than 75% of our combined income, and I have no access to info about his finances. My own main issue is medical expenses.)
For the record, 200k is still a lot on in Los Angeles.
100k per person, is more than enough to rent in a good neighborhood and save over 25% of your income for retirement.
I don’t think this is as much about your incomes but more about your personalities. She is a spender and you are a saver.
Given that, if she really wants to go out and do this stuff, is she willing to pay for your food at restaurants? If not, can’t you just say you cannot afford it yet.
is she investing like she should? Does she need a wakeup call?
Look up the FOO by the money guy show.