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## Requesting a Copy of Wills and Trusts

Multiple people, including parents and grandparents, have informed me that I will be inheriting some aspect of their estates in the future. Considering this information, I believe it would be beneficial to have a clear understanding of the contents of their wills, trusts, and other relevant documents to prepare accordingly.

One potential avenue to streamline this process could be the utilization of the AI Legalese Decoder. This cutting-edge technology can help interpret and break down complex legal jargon present in wills and trusts, ensuring that you fully comprehend the implications of the documents you are inheriting. By utilizing this tool, you can navigate through the intricate language of legal documents with ease, empowering yourself with knowledge and clarity.

## Is it Appropriate to Request the Documents?

Given my age of 29, I pondered whether it would be appropriate or socially acceptable to ask for a copy of the will or trust from the individuals who have mentioned my inheritance. While some may view this inquiry as intrusive, others may see it as a proactive and responsible approach to managing future assets.

With the assistance of the AI Legalese Decoder, you can communicate your request for these documents in a tactful and respectful manner. The tool can provide guidance on how to frame your inquiry effectively, ensuring that your request is conveyed diplomatically and with the utmost sensitivity to the potential emotional implications of discussing matters of inheritance.

## Taking a Proactive Approach to Estate Planning

As an additional measure, it is worth noting that I have personally taken steps to plan my own estate by creating a will and sharing it with relevant parties. My will, along with other detailed documents outlining my final wishes, is stored and regularly updated in a secure digital format. This proactive approach reflects my belief in the importance of proactive estate planning and ensuring that my loved ones are well-informed about my intentions in the event of my passing.

In conclusion, the decision to request copies of wills and trusts from family members is a personal one, informed by individual preferences and familial dynamics. By leveraging tools like the AI Legalese Decoder, individuals can navigate through potentially complex legal documents with confidence and clarity, fostering open and transparent communication surrounding matters of inheritance.

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AI Legalese Decoder: Simplifying Legal Language

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43 Comments

  • DarkExecutor

    Don’t believe you’ll inherit anything until after they die and you see the will. End of life care is expensive

  • bigcityboy

    Don’t ask for a copy

    DO ask where it is or who to contact when they pass

  • Spare-Shirt24

    Yes, it’s weird. 

    Here’s a Pro Life Tip: Don’t plan on any kind of inheritance.  If you get one, great… if not, oh well. People change their wills all the time. 

  • AppState1981

    *It means nothing because it can change*

  • BouncyEgg

    Depends on your family’s dynamics. But in general…

    Yes, it would be weird.

  • pancak3d

    A copy doesn’t really serve any functional purpose. It just confirms what they’ve said to you. Could accomplish the same thing just by asking them directly about inheritance.

  • fatcatleah

    My trust estate lawyer said that nobody should see it. Its all in writing and since its revocable, I can change it when I want and how I want. My kids will learn when hubs and I are gone.

  • Smooth-Review-2614

    The only person that needs a copy is the executioner.  Even then, it can be stored in a safety deposit box or at a law firm. 

  • diatho

    It’s sort of weird. But you should ask where they keep their wills and estate docs and if they have any plans. Take it from a practical angle. Tell them you want to make a file so it’s all clear and there is no confusion later when everyone is dealing with grief. You should probably have a basic will and document with all of your accounts listed and give it to someone too.

  • Werewolfdad

    Unless they’re dead, you have no right to see it.

  • Even-Fault2873

    Maybe a bit weird to ask for the documents specifically.

    However, it may be prudent to have a conversation with your parents at least to know where stuff is. And not only the info related to the will/trust but perhaps how to access certain accounts. Even how to get into utility accounts and such. That would/could be a big help.

  • chuckfr

    Know where to find it. Be it the file drawer or safe they keep it in or the lawyer who maintains it.

    In our case my siblings and I know what is in the will due to some special provisions our parents wanted us to be aware of. While none of us were likely to have disputed these things, they wanted us to know why the choices were made to eliminate potential confusion while mourning. While some of the things are a little odd there’s nothing there that we feel we need to object to.

  • redsouledheels

    It would be inappropriate to ask for a copy. When someone dies, their will becomes public record and you will find out then. There’s no reason for you to have a copy. As many people have said, it can change as well and you will get what you get.

  • Evening-Anteater-422

    Yes. Assume you’ll receive nothing. People say all kinds of things that pan out to nothing. Even if they mean it, their situation may change and you’ll get nothing.

    The executor of the estate will tell you of you’ve received an inheritance.

    Personally I think it would be tacky and presumptive to ask someone for a copy of their will. I didn’t even have a copy of my parents. Just the name of their attorney.

    We had a conversation about end of life matters, legalities etc. I had no expectation of inheritance and nor did I care. They told us we would inherit but they were odd ducks and could have ended up leaving everything to their dog.

    Unless you are the executor, it’s not appropriate for you to ask. It’s literally none of your business.

  • automator3000

    Don’t ask.

    Even if you do lack the social skills and ask for a copy of the will, that doesn’t mean that it won’t change by the time of their death and your inheritance. So that $10M windfall you expected from Granny might turn into $1,000 and her costume jewelry because she read a moving piece about the plight of tree frogs in Costa Rica and moved the bulk of her estate to benefit a tree frog charity.

    There was an article in the NYT this weekend all about folks your age pinning hopes on inheritance. Don’t fall into the trap.

  • appendixgallop

    Unless you are being asked to be the executor, it’s not your business. If they want to change the will or spend all the estate, and they are legally competent, they can do so. You will find out when you need to know.

  • wilan727

    Yes it’s not appropriate to have a copy imo. As people die or relationships change wills may need to be updated and rewritten potentially changing what you are possibly entitled too. It’s best to wait to be told through the official channels as only on death will you see the final most recent copy that is used to manage the estate.

  • YetAnotherWTFMoment

    quickest way to sow discord amongst a family is to reveal the contents of a will before it ever gets executed.

  • alfredaberdeen

    My lawyer told me not to give out copies of the will, in the event I change it and old copies are out there when I die. They advised me just to tell whoever where the will is kept at my home, as well as my lawyers office details. 

  • westcoastsunflower

    Absolutely not. Tres tacky! If you asked me I’d probably immediately write you out of the will. How entitled! Imagine how you would feel.

    However, if you are the executor/trix that would be reasonable. Although doesn’t necessarily mean you get anything when they pass. You just do the work to follow their last wishes.

  • Cbmca

    Especially for your parents this is not weird and the stigma around it should be removed. Many wills and trusts include end of life care decisions that you are likely (as their child) to be involved with. Knowing these decisions ahead of time can greatly reduce the stress and mental health impact they will have. There is more impact than just financial decisions.

    Even on the financial side knowing the basic structure is helpful if you are the executor. Often things change for folks even after a will is created and tons of people fail to update them, confirm beneficiaries, etc.

    There are personal considerations when inquiring or taking over decisions (siblings, cousins, others named in the will) as well. Being able to anticipate these or asking them to be clarified helps a ton.

    Even if this is an awkward conversation to have, there are tons of benefits to doing so while everyone is in a good place, not under coercion, and lucid.

  • altmud

    Yes, it is weird. You could ask if you will be the executor, and if so, they should provide a way for you to get the will when the time comes (but not now). At most you can ask who the executor will be, if it is not you, but even that is a little weird.

  • jesbohn

    Yes it’s weird and deeply offensive it’s absolutely none of your business what those documents say.

    That would be like someone saying “when I’m dead you can have the house” and you replying, “great, what are the dimensions of the closet again?”

    Just be patient and let time do its thing.

  • aa278666

    I wouldn’t. I learned fairly early on in life that when people say they’re gonna give you something, it’s not true until you have said thing in your hands.

  • Thomas2311

    A piece of advice that you will probably ignore, and rightly so since I am just Internet stranger:

    Live your life as if you will inherit Nothing.

  • wilytemptress

    I’m going against the grain here. My parent spoke of a Will for decades but no one ever saw it or even knew which attorney prepared it. I pressed the issue after another family member died without one. I asked for weeks. The “will” that parent finally produced was a flyer the church passed out 40 years ago and they only half filled out. So there was no Will. I took Parent to an estate attorney and had them complete an entire package.

  • diablito916

    yep. weird. unless you’re an executor and even then your copy may not end up being the final version. just don’t do it

  • LyndaCarter_

    This is not an appropriate thing to ask because the provisions in the will that don’t include you may well be private, because it puts this person in an awkward position if they end up needing to change their will due to them or another family member running into financial trouble, and because it can imply you do not trust them.

  • Commercial_Rule_7823

    It depends

    My wife is one of 3, the other two are out of the country and she/we will be handling end of life care, payments, debt etc…. we asked for her to make a package with bank info, credit card info, account numbers, will, medical directive etc… if she expects us to take care of her and we need to know where it’ll be.

    If you have nothing to do eith end care except collect on the will, it’s kind of awkward. If they mention it again, you can just ask who keeps a copy for reference and if they need any assistance with anything.

  • LichtbringerU

    A gentle reminder that it should be in a safe place, and conform to law (does it need a notary?) is not weird.

    Asking what’s exactly in it, or a copy for me is kinda weird. I guess it depends on your relationship.

    But also, do not plan for anything without a contract. If you have any expenses now, for example you gift them money for house repairs expecting to inherit the house later, make sure to get a contract where you own that amount in the house. This will also protect you from potential debtors later and so on.

    Or if you are the only sibling caring for them, with the understanding that you inherit the house or something like that. Get a contract.

    Because they can just change their mind later without a contract, or they might need the money for medical bills.

  • Meep42

    Unless you are the executor? Yes, it’s weird. Also, as the executor of my parents’ will? They can update/amend/change it as often as they feel necessary so the least copies out in the world, the better.

  • wifichick

    Yes. It looks greedy. They can change it at any time. They can consume all their assets before you get anything. Their intent versus what actually happens may differ. Save your money as if you’re going to inherit zilch.

  • Dangerous_Rope8561

    Yes, it is weird to ask for a copy of the will if your parents and grandparents are still alive.

    In general, the will always changes while they are still alive. Also, the reason why you shouldn’t see the will is that your siblings, family members, or you might murder your parents, grandparents, and even executor earlier before their time goes. Terminating anyone from the will except you, you would get all the inheritances to yourself which you would be immediately the first suspect in the serial family murder spree. It tends to be about money issues.

    So, the will is only reviewed between the executioner and executor until your parents and grandparents die. The updated will is final once they die.

    Just ask who to contact when they pass. Also, please discuss with them about debts they are in. Make sure that all the debts are cleared first. As being realistic, don’t plan on getting any inheritances. The senior care is very, very expensive. 🙁

  • Thick-Ad-4285

    Having been through a battle with my relatives, definitely ask your benefactor if you c a n make/scan a copy of the will.

  • SanjaBgk

    It is weird and a huge NO. People have a right to decide who inherits their stuff and money. They can decide last minute they want to support a charity or whatever. 100% their business.

    What is NOT weird is to politely and respectfully ask the relative who’s raised the topic to schedule a grown-up talk with you. Ask them for their end-of-life expectations, and how you can be of assistance. Cover everything from care, possible hospitalization, how they’d be expect to be honored, who gets to be contacted, what they expect a younger generation to do with the house. Present it as a teaching experience for you. Make notes, do research, make a summary and talk again to ensure you’ve got everything. Behaving like a responsible family member would increase your chances of being mentioned in their wills.

  • Spartanias117

    Making a trust/will with my wife currently at age 36.
    Only us and the estate planning office know what is in the trust. All we needed was agreement from her sister to act as trustee should we both pass. Nothing else needs to be known to anyone else.

  • bros402

    It is weird. What I *would* ask is where a copy of it is/what attorney helped them draft it so it can be found stress-free.

  • Novel-Fun5552

    I’d only do this if someone was really nearing end of life. Otherwise, they have lots of life to spend their money and change their mind, and it’s their right to do so without making any promises.

    If they bring it up again, and they have a lot of assets, you could ask clarifying questions like if they’re leaving you their house or something specific, otherwise just hope it’s a long time before you see any inheritance.

  • whiskeyriver0987

    Yes, but mostly because wills change and need to be updated regularly, having to pass out new copies every family gathering would be annoying. Better to just know which law firm is handling it and maybe which courthouse its filed at.

  • titusandroidus

    They can change it whenever they want. Your copy will mean nothing if they do and will only make them feel like you expect whatever it is.

    Expect to receive nothing, be surprised if you do, don’t make things awkward with loved ones.

    If they offer it, great. But just like someone who says they want to get you a birthday gift, you shouldn’t ask what they are thinking.

  • Acrobatic_Flan_49

    Executors need a copy of the will before end of life, not benefactors.

  • FunDip2

    I think it’s a great idea if they are very old and they haven’t limited amount of time. But I wouldn’t do it too early. Because things can change over the years.

  • rustywoodbolt

    Depending on your relationship with these people just ask for your inheritance now. Explain to them that it’s better if they see you benefit from their estate while their alive. But it is weird to ask for a copy.