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## Discovering a Difficult Truth: A Friend’s Past

### Trigger Warning: Child Pornography

I am sharing this personal dilemma in hopes of receiving guidance and support in navigating a challenging situation. Please approach this topic with sensitivity and compassion.

#### Background Story of an Autistic Friend

I came across a troubling discovery about a close friend who was previously unknown to me. This friend, who is autistic and incredibly reserved, had a sheltered upbringing and lacked social interactions before our friendship blossomed at work. Gradually, I helped them come out of their shell, and we formed a strong bond.

During a casual conversation, my friend casually mentioned their past involvement in legal trouble without divulging specifics. Respecting their privacy, I did not press for details assuming that everyone has a past with mistakes. Despite this revelation, the person I know is kind-hearted and gentle.

#### Unearthing a Disturbing Past

Recently, I stumbled upon information about my friend’s criminal record related to child pornography offense dating back 13 years. This revelation has left me stunned and conflicted. While I always held a firm belief that individuals consuming CP are abhorrent and unforgivable, knowing someone personally changes my perspective.

I refuse to label my friend as a monster outright. Condemning the act of CP, I am compelled to understand their side of the story. Were they victims of abuse during childhood that led to this behavior? Did they comprehend the gravity of their actions? Were they coerced into such acts or willingly indulged in them?

#### Seeking Answers and Understanding

Driven by curiosity and concern, I delved into research about individuals recovering from CP addiction. Many narratives shared a common thread of childhood trauma influencing their destructive behavior. Some sought therapy and rehabilitated successfully. Is my friend undergoing a similar journey of recovery, or are they still immersed in this harmful pattern?

Approaching my friend about this sensitive issue feels daunting. I fear triggering their emotions and jeopardizing the progress they have made in opening up and embracing life. However, knowing the truth is crucial for the integrity of our friendship. I seek advice on initiating this conversation with empathy and tact, eager to listen to diverse perspectives and suggestions.

#### Leveraging AI Legalese Decoder for Support

In this challenging situation, AI Legalese Decoder can offer invaluable assistance by deciphering complex legal jargon and facilitating a deeper understanding of the legal implications surrounding CP offenses. By utilizing this tool, I can navigate legal terms and regulations effectively, empowering me to comprehend my friend’s past actions within a legal context and approach the conversation with a well-informed perspective.

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7 Comments

  • Weight-Slow

    You guys are being brutal today.

    This is a person who discovered their friend is on the registry and cared enough to learn about the crime, read about the psychology, and ask questions to try to understand and *wants* to support the guy.

    I’m disappointed in some of your truly shitty responses.

  • endregistries

    You don’t have to know the backstory. All you have to know is that your friend is your friend. But… I’d suggest you read a book by Nick Dubin – a brilliant man who was on the registry and has autism. He’s a phenomenal person too. https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Disorder-Developmental-Disabilities-Criminal/dp/1787753611 The book will give you additional insight. Perhaps, then, you could say that you discovered your friend is on the registry and that they don’t have to talk about it, but you know and you’re there for them.

  • Steinhatchee

    My advice is to take some time in working through all of this.

    You’ve been trying to sort this out mentally for basically 24 hours at this point, which isn’t really a lot of time. There is a LOT to this subject– there are things to learn, and while the internet makes it easy to access information quickly, what takes time is really understanding it all and digesting it, and deciding where you stand.

    So you’re at the very beginning of an important journey, which is a great thing. I’m new to this too– I’ve been working on this for about a year now. I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness and how other people view forgiveness and crimes and sexuality, and about problems that exist within our societies and legal systems. I’m not glad about how I got here (my brother got arrested), but I have made myself a better person in learning about this.

    You put out a lot of questions in your post about your friend, their abuse history, etc… If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t bring those questions to your friend right away, and not all at once, and frankly I might never ask. Your friend has made it clear to you that they aren’t ready to talk to you about it yet. They still may not want to talk about it right now even if they find out that you already know what the crime was. Try very hard to look at this from your friend’s perspective rather than your own perspective– maybe what you want right now is to know, but maybe what your friend wants right now is to not talk about it.

  • Reasonable_Mall_7031

    Be tour caring self. Be honest with your friend. Tell them their secret is safe with you. You will not tell anyone, and you don’t have to tell me anything. I found you on the registry, but it’s ok. I will not judge you. Please be careful when you yell, not all care as I do. Then leave it. At so.e piont he will tell you what happened with details. Don’t push it just leave it up to his time.

    About 45% of SOs for CP are autistic. Tje police aim at people with mental problem and often trick them to confess. O am not A RSO but SD assault teen boys about 32 yrs ago and I have a degree on child physiology and run a behavior modification program for Felions.

    He us not dangerous and he is most like doing his best to manage. If you can help him ad a friend that’s a great thing.

  • [deleted]

    “I went down a rabbit hole researching people in recovery for CP. It’s an addiction” and you got your degree in psychology, where exactly?

    “My biggest fear is they are still seeking this content out.” what are you basing that off of? Your own bias, and emotions? lol.. seek help for yourself. Stop making assumptions… and don’t pre-judge people.

  • W3HAPPYF3W

    Only bring it up, if they CHOOSE to bring it up.