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## Seeking Legal Assistance for Unpaid Debt

I am facing a challenging situation where my ex-partner owes me a significant amount of money, totaling over $20,000. This debt accumulated over the course of a year as he borrowed money for various expenses such as phone bills, car repayments, rent, and more. Despite having clear records of the transactions and email correspondence where he acknowledges the debt and promises repayment, he has been evasive and unable to commit to a payment plan.

I have been attempting to resolve this issue amicably through email communication, but my ex-partner consistently fails to follow through on his promises to repay the debt. It has been over 4 months since our breakup, and the situation remains unresolved. Despite my willingness to negotiate a payment schedule that accommodates his financial constraints, he continues to delay without offering a viable solution.

In light of this ongoing predicament, I am considering seeking legal recourse through VCAT or consulting with a lawyer to address the matter formally. While I understand that he may not have the means to repay the entire sum at once, I am willing to cooperate and find a reasonable solution. However, his lack of commitment and repeated delays have left me with few alternatives.

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12 Comments

  • Beltas

    I would flip your question and ask what is your reason for not going to VCAT. I’m not being flippant, cost and time are legitimate reasons, but if you can afford both, then why not?

    A lump sum isn’t your only option for collecting. And regardless of the situation today, having a judgement debt can give you options going into the future. So even if he doesn’t have the money now, it doesn’t mean you will never get the money. Also, the process can be the punishment; even if you never collect, putting your ex through the court process can help you get some closure.

  • Joshomatic

    Very hard to chase debts from when you’re in a romantic relationship legally (imagine if the genders were reversed… it wouldn’t be seen as a debt at all by most people)…

  • Unstoppable1994

    Why would you keep loaning money to someone that wasn’t paying you back?

    Or is this a you helped him while you were together and now you broken up you want the money back?

    Either way you can get blood from a stone. You can waste more of your time by going to VCAT. Maybe send him a letter of demand to scare him into committing to a payment plan but if that doesn’t work then just leave it and move on with your life.

  • woofydb

    Tbh I think you are best to kiss it goodbye as a life lesson. There is no easy or cheap way to get this back and while it’s a lot it could be worse. He’s never going to pay it back and at least it’s stopped now.

  • jaa101

    Did he give you a date by which he’d pay you back? If not then it’s an indefinite loan and you won’t be able to enforce repayment.

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  • SnooOpinions5944

    Kind of hard to do im a man and my ex put me in debt too she stole alot from me too I tried talking to police as she stole my 2 cats and my savings but they don’t care about it a lawyer said to me that once you are in a relationship if you don’t have all the receipts everything is fair game

  • evangelista_smile

    Personally I would definitely seek legal advice, send a letter of demand and/or a suggested payment schedule with clear amounts etc. 20k isn’t a small amount..

    I once loaned a friend 3k to pay off their credit card debt and had a falling out. They refused to honor the agreement, took them to vcat and the magistrate ruled in my favour and had part of their work payments automatically sent to me via cheque to pay off their debt. All I had for supporting evidence was a signed agreement and a couple of text messages.

  • geestylezd

    Write the debt off and move on to better things. You won’t get the money back, he’s a fucking deadbeat. It’s not worth the time in your head to keep trying to think about it as an impermanent loss. Good luck for better partners. 🙂

  • hazelandfiver

    No judgement, but once the spreadsheet reached 5k, 10k, 15k etc, did you think to cut him off or was it only when the relationship ended? It’s notoriously hard to get money back from an ex, especially when they don’t have the funds to return. You could be chasing this your whole life.

  • itsontap

    For 20k you definitely want to go VCAT or small claims court, would be better as it’s above $10k.

    It’ll cost a few hundred dollars and you won’t need lawyers unless you want to make them richer, given the amount here.

    Written statements / receipts are important here and also if the court enforces it once you’re done and he doesn’t pay, you can contact the sheriffs office to action out taking assets to be paid.

    Good luck, these situations are tricky but always worth a go for this sort of money. Don’t be discouraged by others who choose their “emotional well being” when it’s just them not being prepared to battle.

  • PureMassacre99

    what proof do you have that you lent him this money? If it was in cash then kiss it goodbye you have no chance of recovery. An email saying he owes you money of unspecified amount and due by unspecified date just isn’t enough.. The courts will see this as part of relationship gone bad and he could turn around and say the money was a gift.