- March 30, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Situation Overview
I am currently out on bail, so I’m not going to say much about the case itself. Given where my anxiety is at, I’d appreciate if we didn’t discuss possible sentencing either, I have a lot of worry about the future right now.
Anyways.
## Life Before the Incident
I had a perfect life. I literally married my best friend, we had amazing kids that are my whole world. My job wasn’t awesome, but it wasn’t terrible either. I liked doing it and I was working on learning what I needed to move up.
## The Incident
One morning, there’s a knock on the door, about an hour earlier than I was expecting (a buddy at work was giving me a ride to work that day). We open it and the state cops flood in.
They take me out to a car, tell me that they’re looking for CSAM, and I tell them I want to talk to a lawyer. After trying to get me to say something and failing, they take me to jail. I’m there for a while and it’s honestly the worst experience of my life. I am smart enough not to talk about the charges though, so I make some friends. The people in jail weren’t that bad, it was the constant noise, the lights on 24/7, the boredom. Finally I am bailed out and told by my lawyer that I can’t live at home.
## Current Situation
Now I’m in a shifty motel and I haven’t seen my kids. My wife only talks to me when it’s absolutely necessary. She is nervous that something happened with the kids (it didn’t) and wants to see how things shake out.
I miss my kids and my wife. I miss my dog. All I do is sleep, eat, look for work, read, play Tears of the Kingdom, and take walks while the sun is out.
## Support from Friends and Anxiety
The lucky side of this is I have some friends who didn’t write me off. They still talk to me, which takes the edge off the loneliness. A lot of my anxiety centers around being alone because of this, and thankfully they say I won’t be.
But I’ve never been apart from my family this long. I miss them and I hurt for them intensely. I can deal with being by myself in this capacity, but leaving them behind hurts so much. And I have no idea what’s going on over there. Every day I expect a process server at my door to give me divorce papers. Or another knock from the cops for some reason.
## Job Loss and Uncertainty
I lost my job. I loved the industry I worked in and felt like I finally figured out how to be happy doing what I do. And now I worry all that time I spent learning to do it is wasted.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I’m living under the Sword of Damocles right now.
## Hope for the Future
But mostly, I miss my wife and kids, and I hurt for them.
The only thing I cling to is that none of this will go on forever. I’ll be on the other side of it one day.
But dammit, I freaking miss my family.
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It sounds like you are going through the worst of it now.  It must be very difficult to not be allowed to see your kids.  Im praying that will change soon. 
 Also, It is good to hear you did speak to the cops at the time of your arrest.  Talking to them only makes things worse.