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AI Legalese Decoder Can Help with Custody Battle

**Current Situation**

UPDATE: Possession of Children and Legal Battle

I now have possession of my children with the court’s awareness. The court is also aware of their mother’s behavior and manipulation. We are pushing to expedite a new summons to give me custody, and I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow to discuss further steps in the legal process. I appreciate everyone taking the time to share their insights and advice here!

**Financial Support and Irresponsible Behavior**

Separation and Financial Obligations

My (ex) wife and I agreed to separate on January 23rd of this year. Since then, I have records of bank transfers proving that I have sent her $27,800 to cover her personal bills, children’s expenses, our mortgage, and her pet’s needs. Despite this, she continues to ask for more money and threatens to lose the house if I do not comply. I recently discovered that she is purchasing medical marijuana illegally with the money I send her. Additionally, she is neglecting the care of multiple dogs she acquired after I moved out, putting our children at risk.

**Animal Neglect and Legal Steps**

Addressing Animal Neglect and Legal Actions

When I visit the house to see my children, I notice that she is not feeding the dogs or cleaning up their waste. This neglect is concerning, and I have confronted her about it. I also met with the SPCA and animal control to seek advice on the matter. Despite my efforts to address the situation with her, she continues to ignore it and has even hidden the dogs at her parent’s house.

**Legal Action Plan**

Restraining Order and Custody Plan

I have a case number to file for a restraining order after she hit me months ago. I plan to contact the officer tomorrow to proceed with this as well as involve CPS to ensure the safety of my children. I am considering picking up the kids from my parent’s house and seeking guidance from CPS on the best course of action.

**Court Summons and Support Request**

Court Summons for Financial Support

I received a summons from her requesting $3k in spousal support and an additional $1.5k in child support. This request is still less than what I have voluntarily given her every month since the separation. I have all the necessary documentation to support my case and am prepared to present it to the court tomorrow to ensure the well-being of my children.

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**Original Content:**

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**Expanded Content:**

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27 Comments

  • Cheder_cheez

    Stop showing your cards. By telling her the steps you are taking, you are giving her a chance to correct it before the proper authorities are involved and potentially coach your kids. Collect every shred of evidence you have, photos, videos, etc. and give them to an attorney. Ask your attorney to preemptively request a guardian ad litem.

  • MisterStampy

    Family law attorney. Yesterday. You are unfortunately in a situation where you want to protect and provide for your children, but are being bled dry by her for ‘expenses’. Get a lawyer, go to court, force her to show receipts.

  • Melle2421

    An attorney will help you navigate through all of this. Yet I’d ask for a drug test for her. Doesn’t sound like you live where recreational cannabis is legal.

  • szu

    You should have taken legal action for a court enforced custody agreement. Get your lawyer immediately in view of taking full custody.

  • Alternative_Fox_7637

    You need to ask for a postponement at this hearing and get an attorney. Usually most courts want a parenting plan filed with or prior to child support. Did she file a temp parenting plan giving her custody and then serve by mail and get an order in by default? Are you taking the kids overnight at all? If you’re not it’s going to look bad to a judge. Does she have a job?

  • Tight-Background-252

    Do not contact cps. Go through the court system, and get an attorney.
    Cps will not help you, it will hurt you.

  • EmpiricalAnarchism

    IANAL but I am a former CPS caseworker, CPS is not the appropriate venue to handle custody disputes, which, fundamentally, this is. Animal feces on a deck is a *stretch.* Illicit marijuana usage is a *stretch*. I can’t say nothing will come of it because child welfare law varies by state, county, and court, and is probably the most arbitrary and capricious segment of the legal field out there (or at least among the most arbitrary and capricious), but from your description there is absolutely nothing I can identify as actionable here, at least in the jurisdictions I worked. If you’re somewhere super conservative, maybe they’ll care about the marijuana, but I wouldn’t hold my breath unless you can demonstrate that she’s using it around the children, and even then, that’s not necessarily an automatic cause for removal.

    You need a lawyer, the child welfare system does not exist to provide that for you as it does not appear as if your children are in imminent danger of harm. You also run the risk of CPS deeming you an inappropriate caregiver on the basis of information provided by her (e.g. if she alleges physical discipline and coaches the kids into going along with it) and while you might win out in the end, your kids are still going to go through what comes along with being systems involved, and I would think that preventing that would be an objective.

  • the_woof73

    CPS doesn’t give custody from one parent to another. Hire an attorney.

  • Wchijafm

    So far all you’ve listed is dogs shitting outside, and your seperated wife is asking you to continue to provide financial support(as you likely are required to anyway). You claim you have 50/50 but keep the kids zero overnights and your parents are watching/transporting them? Get a lawyer. I don’t think you understand what it is exactly you have going here for custody and support. What are your incomes? This will be a better way to determine what support will be and if you are over paying. Are you including paying on the marital home in your calculations because unless its in her name only its still your full or partial responsibility until the divorce judgement?

    I don’t know about your dv claim. You sat on it for 3 months, and by your own admission, you were trespassing (post separation and recording in her home) and antagonizing her(refusing to leave and continuing to record). Did you have bruising? Was the attack relentless? Did you corner her?

    No court is going to allow you to dictate how she spends the money.

  • Kindly_Good1457

    Any money you gave her before the child/spousal support was ordered doesn’t have to be credited. It can be considered a gift. Since she wants to go the legal route, go that route and pay when there is a court order. Since you have a mortgage, you can pay that directly to protect your credit.

    CPS isn’t just going to take the kids from her and give them to you because you called and made some allegations. Divorcing parents do this all the time. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. I’m assuming part of her filing regards custody of the kids. Best you can hope for is 50/50. You can try to get majority custody but most likely it will end up being split. At least at 50/50, your support obligation would be lower.

    You need to consult with a family law attorney to protect yourself.

  • CrashFF00

    Something reads fishy here.

    You’re not legally divorced yet, correct? Have you actually FILED for divorce? HOW is there a spousal support order and “ADDITIONAL” child support? This sounds a bit bogus to me. Does this ‘summons’ have a case number for the court it was filed in? Call the court and confirm its legit.

    Spousal support / alimony / spousal maintenance, is a court-ordered payment after divorce, and in some states can’t be modified after it’s been set.

  • throw_awayzzzzzz

    U taking pix? Keep records.

  • 911siren

    You lived there so you know exactly what those household expenses are. She could be trying to get as much money out of you right now so she can show the court what you can realistically afford to give her. The rest of this is above my pay grade but a family attorney could give you precise details on how to proceed.

  • jtkerlin

    Get a lawyer. My brother was in a similar situation and got burned, do not believe you can do it on your own or that it will go well. As others have said document everything.

  • matrialchemy

    The family court judge who will decide where your kids live, and all the CPS workers, have seen kids living in conditions 100x worse than your wife’s house. Imagine meth and fentanyl, not pot. 30 animals, not 3. Feces and urine and worse all over the house, not outside.

    One household’s neglect is another household’s lazy housekeeping. And, absent child abuse, a former SAH parent who works part-time is more likely to get physical custody of the kids than a parent working 2 jobs.

    Get a lawyer.

  • Venti_Mocha

    Get a lawyer. Listen to the lawyer (which is likely to include not posting stuff like this to social media).

  • IamGhostman

    I hope you have asuch documented everything possible l. Pictures of the filth and saving all communications. If you haven’t, please get a lawyer. It seems she really hasn’t learned her lesson in anything she has done, so time to bring in the big guns and bring her back down to the ground.

  • Ohiochips

    Find the best family law attorney in your area…Now!!!

  • Far_Prior1058

    Get a lawyer and get an agreement hammered out.

  • Spicy_Traveler94

    INFO: Are you legally separated? Is there a custody arrangement in place? Because to me it looks like you’re both still married so regardless of what she spending it on and how much you’re transferring it’s still marital property. I would guess that the court summons is fraudulent and she’s bluffing.

  • lonedroan

    What does your attorney say?

  • RedditVirgin13

    You need the most cutthroat family attorney for this situation. Also keep in mind, if you consult with all of the good ones in town, she can’t use them.

  • RevolutionWeak177

    Hag on to your ass. Judges don’t use lube on men. Lawyer up get a mean one.