- August 4, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Seeking Help in a Desperate Situation: AI Legalese Decoder to the Rescue
Introduction
I am in desperate need of advice. My husband and I have been married for over a year, and my application for permanent residency is currently in process. However, this morning, while I was breastfeeding our 2-month-old baby, he hit me in the face. This incident occurred when I politely asked him for my prescribed painkillers for my c-section pain. Unfortunately, I forgot that he had asked me to make coffee before he left for work, as our baby was crying and it slipped my mind. This is not the first instance of abuse I have experienced from him. In fact, the abuse began only a week after our marriage and has manifested itself physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, and financially. The man I fell in love with seems to have transformed into a monster. Now, he is threatening to take away our baby and have me deported if I leave and report him. As an international student from the Philippines who arrived in Canada three years ago, I recently started working as a full-time Registered Nurse (RN) before giving birth. Now that I am on leave, he expects me to manage all household responsibilities, and he has not even taken care of our baby since we left the hospital. His rationale behind this expectation is that, according to him, “this is how households work in Canada: the wife takes care of the house and children while the husband brings in the money.” Feeling helpless and trapped, I am unaware of my available options. I cannot bear the thought of leaving our baby in his custody, as it would mean a life of anguish for both me and my child.
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Expanding on Options and Seeking Assistance
In this distressing scenario, it is crucial to explore the available options. While I understand the physically demanding nature of my husband’s construction job, it does not justify his anger issues or the abuse he subjects me to. One immediate step I can take is to reach out to law enforcement agencies and report the abuse I have endured and the threat he has made to take away our child and have me deported. By involving the police and immigration authorities, I can take concrete measures to protect myself and my baby from further harm.
Simultaneously, it is vital to seek legal advice and support from professionals experienced in handling cases of domestic violence and immigration issues. Here, the AI Legalese Decoder can be a valuable tool, providing me with a comprehensive understanding of my legal rights in Canada, including my entitlement to protection and resources as a victim of domestic abuse. It can guide me through the process of obtaining a restraining order, exploring options for temporary or permanent custody of my child, and initiating proceedings to secure my own immigration status independently of my husband’s.
Additionally, I should consider reaching out to support networks, including shelters specifically designed for victims of domestic violence. These shelters can offer a safe haven for me and my baby, providing not only protection but also emotional and legal support.
Conclusion
In this distressing situation, where physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and financial abuse persists, seeking assistance and exploring available options is crucial. By leveraging tools like the AI Legalese Decoder, I can gain a comprehensive understanding of my legal rights and options. Through engagement with law enforcement agencies, legal professionals, and support networks, I can take steps to protect myself and my child, breaking free from this cycle of abuse.
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OP, there are immigration solutions if you are being victimized by your sponsor, including special statuses. You can call their client service centre at 1-888-242-2100
1. They are very unlikely to separate you from your child if the child was born here.
2. Report it to the police ASAP
First congrats on the baby.
Second. You need to go to the police and they will contact immigration. Immigration will not deport you.
He iss trying 5o scare and intimidate you with immigration. But immigration doesn’t work that way. He will never be able to sponsor someone again.
Immigration will put you and your baby in a woman’s shelter and will better guide you through this process.
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/services.html
You should seek aid at a women’s shelter or group immediately. They will help you be in a safe place and connect you with the resources you need.
You need to get out of that environment for your sake and the baby and surround yourselves with people who can give you proper advice.
I cannot know what happened with husband, but abuse, especially physical, is never acceptable and it’s very illegal in Canada.
You are among one of the most vulnerable groups as an immigrant and you are not alone because your story is unfortunately not uncommon. The women’s groups will likely have experience with this.
Worry about safety first and not immigration. There are many options for that and it will be explored when the time is right.
EDIT: something to add since it may not be obvious to some immigration. Canada fully treats both men and women as equals and even marriage is considered an agreement among equals and both are their own legal entities in Canada. It’s not like in some other countries where your a single unit with one person in control, normally the husband. He has zero control over you and the government will not even talk to him about your status unless he is part of the agreement let alone let him make decisions for you. If he is your sponsor then that is something he can do something about but once you get the support you need you can explore other options that don’t involve him.
EDIT2: Adding link to an immigration resource for people waiting for PR decision who are victims of abuse . Use it to know proof that there are options. Get safe first and they will help you connect with those that can help you with this when the time is right.
https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/fees-permits-victims.html
Congratulations on the baby! Now run to a lawyer asap. This situation will not improve.
First call the police and make a report so there is a paper trail.
Do you have friends or family here? If not, call a shelter, they’ll be able to help you right away. If you say where you are (just city, not specific), someone can get you more detailed contacts if needed. I’d pack a bag of necessities for you and the baby, have it ready, but hidden if you need to leave in a hurry.
No this is not how a house runs here. Don’t give him a pass for the anger issues, no matter how tired he is, hitting you (or any of the abuse) is not acceptable
https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/fees-permits-victims.html
OP you need to get away. He’s already shown you he can and will use violence, and it’ll only get worse. No, this isn’t how households work in Canada and unfortunately, the construction sector has a lot of hot-headed characters (my boyfriend is an assistant super and I hear all the stories).
Here is a [link](https://www.ontario.ca/page/get-help-if-you-are-experiencing-violence) to help within Ontario. It won’t be easy to leave, but you have options available to you. Do not believe anything he says and do not tell him what you’re doing.
The Philippino community, if any in your area, may be able to help as well after law enforcement provides a safe way out of the situation.
OP, I am so sorry and hoping for your well being during this time. Hopefully, this link helps. Canada will give you a special permit to stay if facing violence and no, you do not need to testify. https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/fees-permits-victims.html
P.s. in no way do men bring home money and women stay home in Canada. Nurses are needed in Canada so you should have no trouble finding something once you are able.
Pack what you need and leave with your baby while he’s at work. I saw in another comment that you are in Kitchener. 519-742-5894 this is a number for a womens shelter there. Leave and call them right away. Do not hesitate.
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/services.html
Find help specifically for domestic violence victims. They will help u report to the police, set you up with counseling, victims services, etc.
Please keep in mind that when a person leaves a DV situation it is THE most dangerous time. Please be safe.
One thing for sure is he can’t deport you. And in Canada the mother will almost certainly get custody of the child. Don’t worry about that.
If he’s hit you you can report that to the police and he will be arrested. You can get a restraining order against him. He will be forced to leave the house. But this will almost certainly end your relationship.
I suggest you start recording this behaviour. Always good to have some evidence.
Find a women’s organization to help you should you decide to stay or leave.
You can go to a court house and ask to talk to a lawyer.
You’re getting a lot of bad immigration advice here from people who have no idea what they’re talking about.
Obviously put the safety of you and your child first. Get out of the house and get to a shelter.
You currently have a work permit. Until that work permit expires you can legally stay and work in Canada. There is nothing your husband can do to terminate that work permit. If you hit the end of your work permit there is a special temporary residence permit program for foreign nationals experiencing family violence.
A lot of commenters are saying your husband has no control over your PR application. This is not true. Until you get your confirmation of permanent residence he can withdraw his sponsorship at any time. In the absence of a sponsor you cannot get PR under the family class or the spouse/common law partner in Canada class.
As an RN there are other immigration pathways open to you. You may be able to get PR through Express Entry. You can also submit a humanitarian and compassionate application, either stand alone or by converting your inland sponsorship to one when the sponsorship is pulled. But this is discretionary. They will look at your establishment in Canada, any hardship you will face in your country of citizenship and the best interest of the child. It is highly recommended you get a good lawyer to help you with this. Legal Aid Ontario may be able to provide a certificate to hire a lawyer. But in the short term put any worries of immediate deportation aside. You are here legally and will continue to be here legally for the duration of your work permit.
You also need a family lawyer to bring an urgent custody order motion and ideally a restraining order motion. Over the longer term you will need to be pushing for custody. If you decide you don’t want to remain in Canada or if you can’t get permanent status in Canada you’ll need to seek an order letting you leave the country with the child.
You can have a replacement ohip card and paper for the baby issued.
I’m not a lawyer, but I have sponsored my partner to come here and have been through the whole process.
You need to leave him now. There should be resources for you. A lawyer will be able to better advise you, but my understanding is that your application for PR essentially freezes whatever visa you had until you get a verdict. In the case of my husband, he arrived in Canada wth a 6 month visitor visa. We applied for PR after 6 months, and that extended his visa for about 2 years, although he couldn’t legally work during that time.
If you applied for PR on a student or work visa then that will be what your visa remains until the verdict. He may cancel the sponsorship if he wishes, but then that will allow you the opportunity to reapply for PR under different circumstances. What a lawyer explained to me was that marriage does not necessarily improve your application, but having a child born here certainly will.
….
My personal advice is to leave him immediately with the child, contact the police and, at your earliest convenience contact immigration and explain. They can be pretty hard to reach, so you will probably need a lawyer and they can be expensive. Good luck.
Lastly, do not make excuses for his anger. That is not normal or acceptable. It also isn’t normal for a man to work and a woman to stay home. Maybe it was 50 years ago.
Call the police and a lawyer right away!
Congratulations on the baby 🙂
Working many hours is stressful but that does not excuse violence and abuse
You were a victim of domestic assault. You will not be deported and you need to get this asshole out of your life. The first step is to call the police.
Working long hours in a stressful, physically demanding job is never an excuse to hit your partner. You deserve better.
Get to a women’s shelter now. They will help you sort this out. If English isn’t your first language, they will help. Do that today. Please.
He can’t cancel your PR application. That’s not up to him.
[https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/fees-permits-victims.html](https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/fees-permits-victims.html)
If you’re the victim of abuse, you have the right to stay in Canada, and can be granted a special permit to remain in Canada.
If your child was born here and has no other citizenship, especially a BABY, it’s unlikely they will remove you if you apply for PR even on your own.
And this is when OP turns the table around and gets a police report, a lawyer, and a new husband.
Just my two cents not on the situation you’re in and going through, but as a construction worker of 30+ years married for 25 of those years and father of 3 children, I’ve never hit a woman. I can’t speak for all construction workers but don’t make excuses because of his job, he’s just a terrible person.
FWIW Canada isn’t in the habit of booting out nurses who want to be here. My friend has a masters in cyber security and his wife provided more points toward his families immigration as a geriatric nurse.
We
Love
Nurses
Also, go ahead and blame him for his anger. I worked construction and doing water & sewer work all summer in +30 heat while in a trench with no wind. Hard work is no excuse for anger and abuse
This is not how households in Canada work.
Your husband is an asshole and you need a family lawyer.
As others stated, your PR application can’t be cancelled after it’s been submitted.
Connect with your local domestic violence agency (usually a shelter, but they’ll have advocacy staff as well) Your situation is sadly very common and there are provisions to protect you. Your partner is financially responsible for you, he doesn’t own you.
He can’t deport you, his threats are part of his abuse. And you don’t have to make excuses for his anger, his job doesn’t justify the domestic abuse. Filipino community, women’s shelters, police, and a free legal aid clinic should be your go-to’s. Take advantage of the 50 hours a week he’s out of the house to get your shit in order, without letting him know that you are planning on leaving, and vanish as soon as you can. Take photos of injuries, record fights if you can (you don’t have to tell him, it’s legal), and document as much as you can. Folks have posted good links to help you with your PR. Good luck, OP. I’m so sorry about this. This man will never change, never believe a word he says. Plan your escape and hide all traces of it. Your instincts to GTFO with your baby are right.
My partner works 12 hour days in construction and doesn’t hit me or even slightly speak rudely to me. Just so you know it’s not his job it’s him. Plenty of people work demanding jobs and don’t abuse.
He can’t do that, you already have your PR application in progress. GET OUT of that relationship. It’s not safe for you nor your child, and report his pathetic ass to the authorities
Actually they can’t report you because you are victim of a crime ( spousal abuse) try to keep records of every single incident and talk to an immigration lawyer just be careful he doesn’t found it . Your lawyer should be able to advise you what are options and how to proceed.
Respectfully and statistically, if you stay it will also be the death of you. Is there anyone you can talk to? A supervisor from your hospital job, a local church, a local group with women from the Philippines?
So sorry this is happening. There is awesome advice in these posts–please get yourself to a shelter. Very proud to be a Redditor today. You are loved and wanted in this country–it will all be OK.
Hello OP, I hope you read this.
1. He does not have ANY power or authority to deport you – Immigration Canada has full authority on ALL immigration matters. You have status. And even if you didn’t have valid status, you could restore the status, change status, ask for compassion, etc.
2. Canada NO LONGER requires that spouses remain with their spouse for 5 years after marriage to obtain their PR.
3. You can and should leave. Pack your stuff, take your baby, report him, and have evidence of your abuse to show to authorities.
IRCC *may* want to investigate him for misrepresenting his spousal sponsorship application. As you can argue, he didn’t fulfill his spousal obligations and became abusive immediately after the wedding. Misrepresenting is a serious charge – those police reports and charges (hopefully they place) will aid in the future to prevent him from qualifying to sponsor someone else (if he attempts to)
I repeat, he DOES NOT HAVE ANY AUTHORITY to deport you.
Once a PR application is underway, depending on where in the process it’s at ( it could’ve been approved initial stages but isn’t issued yet, is not easily reversible and declined and sponsors MAY still be required to uphold their financial obligations even if you aren’t together anymore.)
You were an international student and are now working and under leave – this I assume means you’ve got your postgraduate work permit and are under maternity leave. You don’t need him to stay in Canada.
Don’t stress about the PR being revoked bc of HIM. He can’t do anything with it.
If need be, you can be assessed for humanitarian and compassionate grounds. Maybe your employer can sponsor you, and maybe you can fit under one of the other provincial programs that Ontario has.
You have options. He WANTS you to think you don’t.
Leave the abusive household. Gather all evidence and important documents and find a shelter or organization.. you work as an RN, and your employer should be able to help guide you where to go.
Find a lawyer at the Ontario Law Society directory or search for an Immigration consultant at the CICC website (college of immigration Canadian consultant)
The baby custody – shared custody would be handled by the courts, but your lawyer can argue sole custody for you.
I used to work as an Immigration consultant.
Coming here after the 3rd update: Reddit gets a ton of flak at times, but its post like these where helpful folks spring into overdrive.
But in any case, good luck OP and I hope things improve for you and your child! And congrats on your newborn!
That is NOT a Canadian household what the fuck? Both parents typically work in a Canadian household. Chores and such get done by both people, they help eachother, like a loving couple does for eachother… I’m honestly offended he’d imply that we are all like him.
Contact the police. By the sounds of it, you are here legally and waiting on your PR correct? Why would reporting to immigration do anything if you are allowed to be working here?
Get out of this abuse before it gets worse, it never gets better. Most cities have resources for mothers and wife’s who are trying to get out of abusive households. Police and social services (police can refer you to them) will be able to help you.
Edit: I see you are in Kitchener, so am I. I wish I could do more to help you, but I’m broke right now. I may be able to help with information and such if you DM me but from the looks of it, people here already have all that for you 🙂 goodluck
I’m glad to hear you are safe. He has no power over you know sweetie.
I am so sorry you are going through this. [here are some links for resources about domestic violence](https://www.ontario.ca/page/violence-family)
Also if you work in a unionized workplace please consider reaching out to your union for help as well. With you being an RN and Rns being in high demand they may be able to assist you with legal representation and resources. For RNs the most common union is ONA
This is NOT how it is in canada. The man does bring home the paycheck and the wife takes care of the rest. Canada is a melting pot and there are a variety of different cultures.
Remember none of this is your fault and you deserve to be happy, healthy and safe.
Something to keep in mind is that as soon as he laid a hand on you while you were breastfeeding, this also became a child protection issue.
As a mother, you have a legal duty to attend to your Child’s necessities and protect them from harm. You share this duty with the baby’s father. If the father has shown themselves erratic, violent, and controlling towards you on multiple occasions, you can safely assume it is only a matter of time before he directs that same energy towards your child. Your duty to protect your Child thus also includes protecting them from harm from your abusive husband. The best way to do this, especially with a young child, is to be proactive, and prevent the harm from ever occuring.
You need to be actively planning how to separate yourself from this man, before Family and Child Services separates your child from both him and you unilaterally. There is only one path this sort of relationship dynamic goes down, and you need to hop off before your child becomes part of your relationships cycle of violence, and you risk losing access to them.
Get a lawyer. Don’t let his threats scare you. You’re baby was born here in Canada, which gives you citizenship until you can get “official” citizenship. They won’t deport you or take your baby since your baby is a Canadian citizen by birth. I also live in canada, if you’re anywhere near the Ontario region let me know. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant myself & would absolutely not tolerate this abuse. Reading your post has made me furious. If you need safe harbour I can help you out.
But most importantly get a lawyer. He might fight for custody of the baby. It’s important you start documenting his abuse. Get a paper trail. Messages, audio recordings, videos, pictures of injury he’s caused you & medical records if you can. Does he let you leave the house at all? If not slip out in the middle of the night with your baby & go to the police to report abuse, but only once you have a lawyer & substantial evidence because my experience has been that they won’t do anything unless provided with evidence.
If you need any help please don’t be afraid to reach out.
There are plenty of us (males) who work long, hard hours who don’t come home and hit our spouses. A “normal” person would work a long, hard day and look forward to coming home to be with his family.
I get that you have other things going on here, but I find it sad that there are still ladies out there who think that because their man works hard, it somehow gives him the right to or excuses them for physically or emotionally them. This guy is being a terrorist in you and your childs life- It might be time to start treating him as such.
Im a natural born Canadian citizen and married an American and sponsored them to move here, and they recently got their PR card. We had a ton of paperwork very clearly stating that not only will your sponsorship not be revoked if you had to leave your partner due to abuse etc, that the person will still be financially responsible for you the entire time (3 or 5 years depending on the type of sponsorship)
You will not be kicked out or separated from your baby for seeking care after abuse. Immediately speak to police as well as your immigration representative, make a paper trail, and get as much evidence as you can. You are protected by law, and will not be in trouble for leaving him.
Also fuck that noise of it being “how it works here” what a misogynistic pig. Leave him and take him to court for all he’s worth.
Call. The. Police. And. A. Lawyer. Now.
You won’t get deported. Your child is Canadian, and it seems like you’ve followed all the rules and he has no sway over immigration and its hard to get in contact with the goverment normally let alone in a jail cell where he belongs. While he’s at work, take your kid and you to a women’s shelter for now if you don’t feel safe staying there.
No matter the excuse, he can’t be hitting you. If you let it go, it just gets worse. This is not how Canada works for anyone. His mindset is based on a 40s mentality.
Oh, and never believe the “I’ll/I’ve change(d)” it never happens, and that’s how people end up seriously hurt or killed. No matter your feelings, your safety and the babies safety have to come first.
This is all coming from a man who has seen this stuff spiral out of control multiple times.
Just wanna say fuck that guy. Get out, get help for you and your baby. Also please note as you mentioned you understand his anger as he works long hours in construction. I run a construction business, a retail pet store and have kids and wife at home and guess what I do t have anger issues from being over worked. That’s bs excuse he’s a pos hope you find help and support. Also dm where he works I’d love tp chat sometime lol. Jk or am I …….
https://wcswr.org (women crisis services of Waterloo region)
https://familyviolenceprojectwr.ca
https://www.kwcounselling.com (this last one is because I know how hard is to stop making excuses to leave an abusive relationship).
There are more and if those organizations can’t help you they may channel you.
You are waiting for PR there is nothing he can do to “report you”.
Act now, while he is at work. Create a escape plan with one of the organizations.
Prior to 2015, I believe it was, PR was linked to the marriage for a long time. The feds changed the law with a situation just like this in mind. As others have said, report the domestic violence to the police. I know that comes with emotional consequences to yourself, and i cannot imagine what fears are going throughtour head; you need the police investigation and report while the incident is fresh. The threats might also be a separate crime from the battery, this is why you need the police.
Good for you for seeking help. Your husband needs a reality check! That is not how a family works in Canada anymore, he know this but is trying to gaslight you so he can control you. Honestly he need a wake up call, good on you for leaving.
This is bot how households always work in Canada. Each family needs to determine who works, if childcare is feasible and a fair sharing of household duties. Domestic abuse is criminal and definitely not what we stand for in Canada. You married a monster. He is abusing you and manipulating your situation.
I work 9 and 10 hour days in construction in the heat. After that, I shower and help prepare meals and tidy the house. My girlfriend comes home later. There is zero reason why working hard means you have to abuse your spouse.
I am very sorry about your situation. The police need to deal with your husband immediately. I wish you the best.
This man is successfully dehumanizing you. I wish I could help more because you’re clearly innocent and he’s clearly a fat pig. The only way to really escape someone like this, let’s call him what he is, a predator, is to run away with baby and stonewall him. There are supports, don’t believe a word he says OR everything you might think right now. It takes a lot of trust but just google any shelter and plan your getaway darling. You will both be better off from the moment you leave. Make him fight and beg for every strand of a sense of safety from you. 💔❤️🩹