- September 22, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Finding a fair and balanced way to split housing costs can be a complex challenge, especially when there are significant income disparities and the added dynamic of children. However, the AI Legalese Decoder could provide a helpful solution in navigating this situation.
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****** just grabbed a
I’m in a similar situation (with a similar age gap too, ha). He pays all the house “structural” costs (emergency plumbing repairs, property taxes) and the electric bill, and I pay for water/sewage and Internet. It comes out fairly even as far as our respective salaries go, since he makes around $150K and I make around $60K.
You may choose to split all utilities and food costs according to income just to make it perfectly fair. Based on your salaries, you’d be paying 25% of the expenses and he’d be paying 75%.
Keep in mind that as long as you’re not on the title, you have no legal claim on the house, and he can kick you out at any point, and as his tenant you’ll only have a 30-day grace period to vacate the property. I’ve personally chosen not to contribute to any other housing costs due to this and to save that money on my own as a safety net. Do NOT be forced to pay for something that can only benefit him in the long run.
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I am challenged by relationships where two people pay 50-50 but they make wildly different salaries and in this case, you also have two children to support.
Sure, you should pay in something but thereÔÇÖs no standard formula for this. Your boyfriend should definitely charge you way less than you are paying now so that you can enjoy similar lifestyles- do you split everything in half for vacations? Does he help with the kids or do you need to pay for childcare?
IÔÇÖd each come up with a number that sounds fair but while the house could rent for $2700, heÔÇÖs not going to move out and rent it out nor would he probably take a roommate and charge them rent if it werenÔÇÖt you, so heÔÇÖs not really losing out on income is he?
It’s not just rent and utilities though. There are so many other aspects of this, but I’ll start with what my SO and I have done. We’re about the same age difference as y’all. When she made less than I do, we figured out the percentage difference (20%) and split the bills accordingly for everything. Instead of 50/50 it was more like 60/40. The house and utilities are all in my name. The other stuff is in the SO’s name.
We also have our own stuff. The SO doesn’t like watching sports, so I pay for my extra subscriptions on my own. (ESPN+ and MLB, for example) In much the same way, the SO pays for stuff I don’t use or want. It’s entirely possible to not split bills is my point.
Since my SO moved in, I replaced the fridge as the old one I was gifted finally died. What will your SO expect? Will he expect you to pay half of that cost? Now, a fridge can be moved out of a house and into a different property.
What if the furnace fails? Or needs a new roof? (you get the idea) Will you pay half of that? If you do, will you get anything if you both decide in the future to sell the property? When my SO and I move (we’re looking), I’ll use the proceeds from the sale of my house and roll them into the next.
Ultimately, you came to the internet to ask strangers for advice. It’s up to you what you feel comfortable with. The only real difference in situations is that my SO and I have set a wedding date.
I feel like if you are not ready to move in at cost then you are probably not ready in the relationship to move in together. In this case the cost would be, 3% of the value of the house (maintenance) + utilities and insurance. Split that number in half and that would be reasonable to me. Make it a 50/50 split and call it good. If you are paying into maintenance don’t get sucked into things like buying water heaters, your paying maintenance up front so you don’t get stuck with a large bill later.
Can I just clarify that you’re asking for advice about how much rent your boyfriend should charge you to live with him in the house that he’s paid off?
And that he thinks you’d be taking advantage of him if you didn’t pay rent?
I honestly don’t understand that thinking. Having the person you love move in with you shouldn’t be about making a profit from them…and thats what he’d be doing here, he’d be profiting from you paying rent to him. Him feeling taken advantage of if you aren’t paying him sounds quite unhealthy to me. I’m not some r/relationship_advice idiot who is going to start screaming “red flag”, but I’d urge you to consider whether your relationship is at the right stage to be moving in together if this is the question thats holding up your move in.
That having been said, I’d say the fair arrangement would be that you pay half of the property taxes and insurance, and half of the bills. A generous arrangement (generosity from you, that is) would be to pay a bit more than half of the utilities in acknowledgement of the fact you’re moving your kids in. But certainly the property taxes should be a 50/50 split. I’d also recommend you put aside a set amount each month to help cover wear and tear to the property, especially given you’ve got kids moving in I think its fair for you to put a pot in place to cover any minor repairs that need to done because of them.
Everyone is getting way too complicated with this. Your salary is 25% of the combined income. Split everything based on your incomes.
Taxes, insurance, groceries, utilities, internet, phone, eating out, entertainment, home improvements. Split it 25/75.
Others are saying that your two kids shift the weight. I disagree. If he’s making the decision to move you and your kids in, then he’s making the commitment to take them on as his own.
I would be more concerned about something changing the relationship status and your kids having to bounce around because of it.
Just stay where you are.
My partner and I do the equitable method. Since one makes more than the other, we split the mortgage to a certain dollar of each our respective salaries (40%) and we split the utilities 50/50.
Sorry if this sounds dumb, but I’m not understanding the motivation to move in together. It seems like you both have your separate lives figured out, so is it just to save money? It sounds like you both have more than enough money to live on, so why risk complicating your relationship by changing what’s already working?
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You can do percentages. Whatever you percentage of income, you pay that percentage of bills.
My friend is married with kids….he takes care of all things with the house (taxes, repairs, utilities) and his wife takes care of everything else (cars food, cooking cleaning, kids stuff). I know you’re not married and these aren’t his kids but just tossing it out there. He provides a house and you make it a home.
I second both paying expenses like utilities, property tax, and 2% of the value of the house every year for repairs. Contribute amounts using the ratio of your incomes. That is fair and helps him without causing you hardship. Both of you pay off debt if you have not already.
Op, please contribute the max legally allowed to YOUR retirement accounts every year. 401k, hsa, and Roth. In your name only. Women neglect this and expect that everything will be taken care of (married or not big mistake)
Continue building savings and have sinking funds for cars etc.
Have a savings account for a house down payment if not purchase (donÔÇÖt call it that of course) in case you break up or he dies. The longer you stay together, the more money towards a house. If you always stay together, you will have contributed to the family wealth.
Life insurance in case you die and kids are not fully grown and thru school.
whatÔÇÖs going to happen in the future? One or both of you could be sick. He could die , could be killed. He could leave you -who knows!?
but you do not want to be poor when you are old.
There are no scholarships for old age.
Encourage him to do the same.
By the way, you will feel more secure by doing this and it will help your relationship.
Congratulations! He sounds like a good person and so do you.
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My house isn’t paid off, but my now spouse pays for utilities and food which is less than mortgage and around market rent if they were renting part of a house.
Since you’re not married, I wouldn’t contribute to home costs and repairs directly, he can do that with what you pay in rent. Usually the recommendation is to pay around (less than) market rent when you are renting from a partner. It’s partly your comfort level to both ensure it feels equitable and neither are taking advantage of the other.
The way we do it works out well for us with my spouse paying more of the home improvement supplies since they make more and utilities/food adds up to less than the mortgage.
Whether itÔÇÖs you or the next lady he moves in, the house is paid off. IÔÇÖm not understanding what math needs to go beyond looking at the bills for what they currently are, since youÔÇÖre moving in at the current state in which they are, and splitting that. The 5500 divide that by 12 and divide that by 2 and thatÔÇÖs how much you both contribute each month. Everything else gets split 50-50.
I would probably have you pay the bills (heat/electric, cable TV, internet, water bill, etc) and buy the groceries. ItÔÇÖs his house, he should pay the property taxes, you should pay for all the other associated costs.
YouÔÇÖre not going to like this but hereÔÇÖs my take
This guy is 15 years older than you. This is a weird relationship and the fact he wants to charge you for a place he owns is even weirder. HeÔÇÖs lucky a young woman like you is even giving him attention. YouÔÇÖre dragging your kids into this mess too? Honestly you both should rent a place elsewhere (for your security tbh). This guy is old and his generation typically doesnÔÇÖt have a problem throwing you out on your ass, with your kids, for you doing anything he doesnÔÇÖt like. Is he also, financially taken into account that youÔÇÖll most likely be doing all the cooking and cleaning?
Rent a house for a year with him. He makes enough to split the cost and could even rent out his current place. See if living together works out and if youÔÇÖre really actually compatible. If it does and in a year you all can move into his place, if not youÔÇÖve saved yourself and kids some serious trauma. IÔÇÖm not saying this guy has bad intentions with you but this whole situation is concerning and as a woman and mother IÔÇÖm looking out for you and those kids
I say half of 2700 but you donÔÇÖt pay other expenses. Treat it like a rental
Hmm difficult one.
I would say that it would be fair if you pay the $5500 taxes/insurance, and the power, water and gas bills. Since taxes/insurance get paid in a lump sum, if itÔÇÖs difficult for you to pay at once, maybe do a small pay plan to him.
All the ÔÇ£funÔÇØ bills like Netflix, etc should be paid by him.
Most importantly: all the house upkeep bills should be paid by him. Sometimes those bills get expensive but theyÔÇÖre for the overall resale value of the home (which you donÔÇÖt own). Of course, you should be fair, since youÔÇÖre young u assume your kids are young too, if one kid breaks something accidentally like a window, you should cover it.
It needs to be clear that this arrangement is only as you moving in as a girlfriend. Things will change if you both choose to get married.
How much to pay will depend on the two of you. Perhaps you could pay the market rate to board in a room of a similar type of property in your area?
Considering you are in a romantic relationship, personally I would find it uncomfortable to charge my partner rent as they moving in will not change the property costs to me (since the place is all paid for), and living with them is something I presumably want to do. Instead of charging rent, I would expect you to pay for 50% (maybe more if you count your kids usage) of the ongoing costs as you are paying for what you are using. Anything more, I would feel like I am profiting off of you since your payments do not buy you any rights to my property.
If I were in your boyfriends situation I would charge you nothing and have you buy groceries. Done. I did this with my girlfriend when I had a house that was not paid off and I only made 50k at the time. She is now my wife and 3 kids later IÔÇÖve never regretted the decision. If your in a relationship your working toward mutual goals why does everyone care how many dollars each person contributed. Lots of ways to contribute to a relationship that arenÔÇÖt monetary. Find the chores he hates and do those. At his pay rate that would probably be more valuable to him than a dollar figure but to each there own. Good luck