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## Situation Overview

I am currently residing in New York state, specifically in the Hudson Valley. Unfortunately, my father recently suffered a stroke, which has led me to move out of the city and back home to assist with his care while he undergoes treatment in the hospital. I am now living with him full-time, as he transitions from acute physical therapy to a subacute facility for continued rehabilitation.

## Housing Dilemma

Due to my father’s weakened state, his current house is no longer suitable for his needs. He had been considering selling it even before the stroke, as it had become too much for him to manage on his own. However, the urgency of the situation now requires that we sell the house to facilitate his move to a more suitable living arrangement.

## Financial Details

As someone who has never purchased a home before and did not have down payment savings due to my previous lifestyle in NYC, I am faced with the challenge of managing the financial aspects of this transition. The plan is to use the proceeds from selling my father’s house to make a down payment on a new home.

– Remaining mortgages on current house: Approximately $185,000
– Assessed home value: $400,000 – $430,000
– Maximum home budget: $500,000
– My gross income: $101,400
– My father’s income: Approximately $50,000 per year, with $2,700 monthly mortgage payment that will be eliminated upon sale of current house
– Aunt’s income: Uncertain, but she has a solid retirement plan and will contribute to household expenses

## Home Search

I have already been pre-approved for a home loan and am actively searching for houses in the $500,000 range to accommodate the four adults who will be living together – myself, my spouse, my father, and his sister who is also in poor health.

## Seeking Guidance

Feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed, I consulted with a real estate attorney who suggested the option of taking out a home equity loan to use for the down payment. However, I am unsure about the process and am in need of guidance on navigating this complex situation.

## AI Legalese Decoder Assistance

The AI Legalese Decoder can assist in simplifying and clarifying legal jargon and procedures related to real estate transactions, mortgages, and home equity loans. By utilizing this tool, I can gain a better understanding of the steps involved in obtaining a home equity loan and confidently move forward in securing a stable living situation for my father and our family.

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9 Comments

  • GoldPort

    Rehab therapist here, happy to share some clarity on timeline.

    The average length of stay at acute rehab is 10-14 days. Obviously push for as long as possible for the greatest benefit. (You’ll have to fight insurance on this).

    When you get to the acute care facility there should be a case manager, let them know what you’re doing just to keep them in the loop.

    I think the timeline is too quick to sell and buy a new house before he is out of rehab. Are you able to do an Airbnb for two or three months that way you’re able to properly get his house ready to sell, sell it, buy a new place, get it set up, move him in etc

  • gaijin91

    You don’t need to figure this out all at once. With a stroke he has a year to make a full recovery and if he continues therapy his gains will be HUGE. Whether he can walk again will make a huge difference for his housing needs!

    I would consider renting a more accessible place for a while and/or modifying the current home to make it more accessible. A good contractor can help you a lot with things like ramps, stairgliders, grab bars, etc. The facility can also help you develop a list of supplies you’ll need and Medicare should pay for a lot of this. Don’t rush to sell the house or take out costly loans immediately.

    For counsel, an elder care attorney would be more helpful than a real estate person. Also, there are support groups that can help and the rehab hospital should have a social worker who knows about accessible housing.

    -Coming from someone who went thru the exact same thing. DM me if you want to bounce ideas around.

    Edit: I should clarify Medicare won’t pay for home construction mods but they will pay for supplies like a wheelchair, toilet chair, hospital bed, etc.

  • someguy7710

    Can I ask how old your father is? I don’t want to be rude or insensitive. But you might want to hold off on making major purchases. Because.. sorry, depending on age, he may not be around. I’m sorry to say that , but I’ve been through it twice in the last few years. Either way, it should have some influence on your decision despite your hope that he recovers. If you can make the current house work, it might be better in the long run.

  • Inevitable-Ad-4192

    Don’t take a 2nd, that’s just giving money away. Look for a local realtor who has been in the business for 15 or 20 years and knows the area really well. Look at reviews for this person from actual customers.
    You can do this from a few hours on line these days. Explain the situation to the realtor and let him do his job. He or she should be able to unload your property pretty quick and get you on track to where you want to be.

  • buffybot232

    Do not rush into selling and buying homes. You could lose a lot of money if you rush (i.e making rash decisions). I’m assuming you have access to your dad’s banking accounts? If not, I would start there so you can get him into a short term assisted living space for a couple of months while you sort out the housing situation. Also, why does you aunt need to live with you and your dad? Is it because you really need help financially? I would hesitate against taking care of two elderly people. That’s a lot of work to take on. If she has a good retirement, she should be able to afford living within an assisted facility.

  • whaleyeah

    It sounds like you will be the owner of this house (not dad or aunt)?

    I guess first thing is figuring out how much money you need for a down payment. A lot of loans don’t require that much, but it will affect the loan terms. Does your dad or aunt have money to use towards a down payment? Borrowing the money from them is probably the easiest route if available.

    While moving might be the best move, I agree with others that buying a home and the moving process is a lot to take on at the same time as rehab. Interest rates are really high right now too (but I guess that might be the case for a while).

    Is the aunt living in the current house? If not is her house suitable at all for your dad temporarily?

    Another potential option would be to rent a simple, accessible apt for a short period so your dad is comfortable while you sort out the home buying and moving. IMO that could be the best option because 1) dad will be safe and comfortable 2) you can take more time with the home buying process 3) dad is shielded from the moving process 4) potentially you can wait to buy the new home until after you sell and have a better idea of finances.

    The good thing is he has significant equity so you should be ok financially.

  • arghvark

    I am not familiar with buying and selling real estate in NY myself; I’ve done it in NC and am sure there are similarities and differences, just don’t know what they are.

    You might benefit from sitting down with the real estate agent — offer him lunch or something — and getting a play-by-play account of selling and purchasing a home. What are down payments like in your area? How long from the time you make an offer until the deal is closed? How long do you have, once the offer is accepted, before you must produce financing? What is getting financing like in your area? How long does it take, what rates are available, what pitfalls do you need to look out for?

    What fees can you expect at closing? Are they paid by the seller or the buyer? What fees and payouts are non-refundable if the financing falls through so that you cannot complete the accepted offer?

    It IS a lot, but your alternative is just to trust that the agaent, or the bank, or the lawyer, or someone will tell you what you need to know as it goes, and I think you’ll be in for surprises if you do that. And I don’t know that the real estate agent is the best (or even a good) person for this, you need someone willing to sit with you and go through the details, allow you to make a list that you can have for reference and which you can use to become familiar with the process.

  • bros402

    You need to talk to an eldercare attorney for structuring things properly – since the house is in his name, you can’t get the money directly if you want medicaid to pay for anything in the next 5 years.

    For a down payment, look into a bridge loan – it covers the gap for when you buy your new house and your old house isn’t sold yet.

    Let’s say the house sells for 400k, you net 215 – let’s round down to 200k. You make 101k a year, so you could *technically* afford a 500k house, but I would lower that to around 400k so you can make that house accessible. Add grab bars, make the doorways wheelchair accessible, add a stair lift if the only good one you can find has two floors, and other things like that. Even if nobody needs a wheelchair right now.

    You should consider contacting your county’s [Office for the Aging](https://aging.ny.gov/get-assistance) in case they have any grants or funding or anything like that.

    Plan on your dad not working and your aunt not being able to contribute – any budget you put together should have everything squarely on you shoulders so you don’t get any surprises.

  • Accountin4Taste

    I think you should rent a place. Either rent out his old place and use that money to help with your own rent, or rent and get his house ready to sell with a good realtor. Keep in mind the Medicare rules that will enable Medicare to claim proceeds from his house for his medical bills. Research those before doing anything with that money. It may be the best thing is to just invest the money left from the house sale for now and use it toward his ongoing care while you continue renting until the situation is more stable/predictable and you have a better sense of what everyone’s needs and resources are.