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My (29f) boyfriend, now ex, (33m) and I have been facing significant challenges in reaching a fair separation agreement that satisfies both of us. We initially decided against involving lawyers, hoping to come to terms on our own. However, my trust in him has been shattered, leaving me unsure about my rights and unsure where to turn. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consult with the attorney I want for a few days, possibly even a week. This uncertainty has caused me desperation, as I am eager to understand my position in this situation. Thankfully, AI Legalese Decoder can offer some guidance in the meantime.

We are the biological parents of our two children, aged 5 and 7. Although we were engaged previously, we never got married. Both of us have taken turns being stay-at-home parents, but in the past year, we have both held full-time jobs. Our current state of residence is Arkansas. My ex-boyfriend’s monthly income amounts to approximately $3500, while I have been earning $2400 per month since starting a new job in July. To secure my own place, I have been compelled to seek a second job in order to save up funds. It’s worth noting that everything, including the house and both vehicles (the one I have been driving and the one my ex-boyfriend uses) are solely in his name. The only exceptions are the internet and a few subscription services. Initially, he expressed a desire to sell his vehicle (despite recently purchasing it) and claim mine for himself, as it has around $7000 remaining to be paid off. He suggested that I ask my mother for a temporary vehicle. On the other hand, I have been pleading with him to let me stay with him and the children until I have saved enough money. In my opinion, I shouldn’t need to beg for this right, especially since we have both expressed a desire to remain friends throughout this process. I have even informed him that I do not want child support, hoping he can continue living in the house our children have grown accustomed to and where they can be close to their friends. However, I am tired of feeling like I am the only one making sacrifices and ending up with nothing. Furthermore, my ex-boyfriend possesses a golf cart, purchased in June and registered under his name, which he refuses to relinquish due to the children’s attachment to it. I suggested that he sell it as a means of reducing his monthly expenses and ensuring he can afford the house and other financial obligations without relying on my additional income. Additionally, we have a joint credit card linked to our bank account, which currently carries a $3000 balance. Most of the debt stems from his expenditures, although I have also contributed to it.

I apologize if some of this information seems confusing, as emotions are running high at the moment. I would greatly appreciate any insights or knowledge you can provide regarding my situation. Since nothing is in my name, I question whether I am entitled to anything. Moreover, I am inquiring whether our eight-year relationship in Arkansas qualifies as a common-law marriage. Please provide any pertinent information before I consult with my attorney. It’s disheartening to continue feeling as though I am doing something wrong while also believing I deserve more. Fortunately, AI Legalese Decoder can help translate complicated legal jargon and offer advice on your rights and entitlements during this difficult separation process. It can assist you in understanding the potential outcomes related to child custody, division of assets, and financial support. By utilizing AI Legalese Decoder, you can gain a clearer understanding of your legal standing and make more informed decisions as you navigate this challenging situation.

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Doubling the original length:

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20 Comments

  • monkeyman80

    Arkansas doesnÔÇÖt recognize common law marriages unless you achieved it in say Oklahoma and moved to Arkansas.

    Depending on custody you might be entitled to child support. You would have tenants rights to stay until given 30 days written notice

  • DreyHI

    In general, you’re not going to be able to win the right to stay in his home that is in his name if he doesn’t want you to. You are entitled to tenants rights and notice period to vacate according to your state laws.

    Depending on how the court decides on custody, you may be entitled to some child support.

  • TeamStark31

    Speak with an attorney. TheyÔÇÖll help you navigate this.

    We canÔÇÖt really speculate helpfully on the situation.

    Arkansas does not have its own common law marriage, but will recognize it from other states.

  • robintweets

    Without the legal benefits and responsibilities of marriage, the court isnÔÇÖt likely to do very much to divide up who gets what. Thats what divorce proceedings do.

    Speak with a lawyer ASAP. Child custody and child support will be decided by the court and there may be other options for getting a vehicle, etc. You should have tenant rights for the moment, and your lawyer can advise you how to negotiate all of this.

  • agirlandsomeweed

    Go through the courts for child support. This is not a self help/agreement thing. You are most likely entitled to child support depending on the parenting plan worked out in court.

    Cancel the credit card and make payments on it. It is in both of your names. Keep your/his money separate. Do not commingle accounts going forward.

    You will eventually have to move out. It is your residence but he does have the right to terminate . He can evict if you do not move out by the notice date.

  • nevonuren

    Child support is the right of the child, so when you say you donÔÇÖt want to pursue it, that might just be what the court does itself. You canÔÇÖt waive the childÔÇÖs rights. But itÔÇÖs also possible youÔÇÖd be paying him, depending on circumstances, e.g., percentage of overnights.

  • StrawberryTea8

    This is the unfortunate reality of what happens when two people play house instead of getting married. You are entitled to tenantÔÇÖs rights/fair notice to vacate, and possibly child support. You are not entitled to alimony or half the assets the way a divorced spouse would be. The bank does not care who charged what on the credit card (assuming it is a true joint account and not his account with you as AU), and you own that debt equally. He owns the house, he owns the cars, he owns the golf cart. Get a lawyer and stop taking advice from him.

  • Neolithique

    ÔÇ£(ÔǪ) we have both discussed wanting to be friends during this process. I’ve told him I don’t want child support from him (ÔǪ) But I’m tired of feeling like I’m doing all the bending and then being left with literally nothing.ÔÇØ

    NAL but going through a divorce at the moment.

    This man is not your friend, heÔÇÖs your opponent, you donÔÇÖt take legal advice from your opponent. There is no special heaven for women who lose everything in a separation for the sake of their kids, thereÔÇÖs only bitterness. Figure out a way to speak to a lawyer yesterday, not in a few days.

    If I had listened to my husband, IÔÇÖd be on the street today, because while I was going through the painful process of mourning a home I thought we built, he was simply protecting his assets. Emotions blind people, but a separation of assets is a legal math exercise. Stop discussing anything, stop making concessions, stop making decisions. Speak to a lawyer tomorrow.

  • uvaspina1

    This situation seems urgent (to you) but itÔÇÖs not. You need to talk to an attorney and stop talking to your ex about finances. For you, the best scenario financially is to maximize physical custody time with your kids. Just be patient.

  • Particular-State7479

    YouÔÇÖre entitled to nothing since youÔÇÖre not legally married.

    Call and close the joint CC and keep making payments on it.

    File for Child Support ASAP.

    Go to your moms and take the kids with you and start over fresh. Situations like yours end up going sideways fast. Hope for the best but plan for the worst. Good luck.

  • Riverat627

    Hire a mediator they will work in the best interests of both parties it will be legally binding and much cheaper than attorneys

  • Moghie

    Go to your public library and check out books on Custody and Child support from the publisher NOLO. It’s a good resource for accurate legal information. Make sure you’re looking at the laws in your state and get the most recently published volume available. Good luck.

  • Wizard0fWoz

    Smart move not getting married. Now all that stuff is his.

  • Sufficient-Emu-1710

    Ask your lawyer if the state law supports division as if you were in a general partnership.

  • makeupairheaters

    You guys should just get married instead.

  • LetLifeBeLarge

    This is going to be hard . But no turning back . If you need anyone to talk to you. 3 years after splitting up (1 kid 8 years together he was 6) things are finally looking up. Be strong friend