AI Legalese Decoder: Helping Navigate Consent and Sexual Assault Cases
- April 8, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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### Seeking Anonymous Advice After a Traumatic Incident
My account has lots of information to identify me and I’m not sure how I’m going to move forward so I want some anonymous advice please help me
I’m 21 F in Dec I broke up with my long term boyfriend we were together for Four years but we both had grown apart and we ended up mutually breaking up. He turned out to be a dick and got a new gf and we don’t talk anymore at all
I was upset he moved on so quick so i joined tinder I know right lol but I thought it would be fun and I’d be safe.. I’ve never been on there and now that I’m single it’s been fun living my life I felt like I never got to do anything fun like that I was always with my bf watching him game.
I matched with a few guys on tinder but they didn’t go anywhere..Except this one guy.. it’s been about a month since we matched. After about two weeks I felt comfortable enough to have sex with him and it was good safe sex I felt safe with him and I liked him. We hang out a few times a week sometimes we have sex sometimes we don’t.
On Friday night I went over to his house after I went out with a few of my friends and I was drunk but I wanted to have sex. We started hooking up and that’s when he told me to lay on my belly and put my butt up. That was his favourite position and so I did it and that’s when he jammed his penis into my butt.. it hurt so bad I kept saying stop and he wouldn’t.
After a few mins of the worst pain ever I’m crying at this point he stops pulls his penis out of my butt and says he thought it was my vagina and he didn’t hear me..
He saw how upset I was and didn’t comfort me at all he asked me to leave and I haven’t heard from him.
I’m so confused is he upset he hurt me by mistake or did he do this on purpose to hurt me? Was I raped? I’m in so much pain I can’t sit or walk still tmi my butt was bleeding..I’m so confused.. im still crying I don’t know why he won’t answer me
I’m just realizing now how fucked up this is im in shock and I don’t know what to do. I feel so embarrassed I wanted to sex yes but not anal sex mistake or not
AI Legalese Decoder can help in situations like this by providing legal insights and guidance on potential next steps, such as seeking medical help, reporting the incident, and understanding your rights. It can also offer resources for support and connecting you with legal experts who can assist you in dealing with this traumatic experience.
EDIT: I may delete this whole post later but I just wanted to say thank you for the advice. I only got to reply to a few of you before it was locked. I’m so overwhelmed and in shock I don’t know what I’m going to do.. I made an apt tomorrow at my universities sexual assault centre. The assault didn’t happen on campus but I’m a student here in Ontario I’m going to tell them what happened so they can help me and help me out with what to do..I’m too scared to tell my parents and only roommate knows.
Please: don’t send me weird messages or asking for pictures that’s so messed up. Creepy messages and messages saying I’m a slut for sleeping with some one two weeks after meeting them are making me more depressed.. I know that I’m dumb but I didn’t know this would happen.. he blocked me so I know now 100% he did this on purpose..People who can support me yes as I still have some questions I’d like answers anonymously
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****** just grabbed a
You said stop. He didn’t. Thats rape.
Listen as a guy I can promise you there’s no mixing up the two, like there’s just no way
You were raped
This is a classic rape, you were raped on several levels…his actions are very damning. If you want him charged you simply need to file a report and give a statement. Document any injuries, period of time it hurt for, and anyone you told about it immediately after and anything he said or texted you.
I suggest seeing a DASA nurse to have it properly documented.
>After a few mins of the worst pain ever I’m legit crying at this point he stops pulls his penis out of my butt and says he thought it was my vagina and he didn’t hear me..
There’s no possible way to confuse the two
100% sexual assault. Even if you went into it consenting, you said stop and he didn’t stop. You always have the right to revoke consent. Moreover, consenting to vaginal sex doesn’t mean you were consenting to anal sex.
Also, nobody mistakes a butt for a vagina. He knew exactly where he was.
Please do not just brush this off OP. You said no multiple times and he continued. That is rape. Please seek support from friends or family. Also, get medical assistance.
This absolutely was rape. You had only consented to vaginal sex. Anal sex is something to be discussed and full consent given before going ahead. You need to report him, because it definitely sounds like he has a M.O. for doing this to women “I didn’t realise it wasn’t your vagina and I didn’t hear you repeatedly saying no”. What a crock of shit!
Also, if your bottom is still bleeding then you need medical attention. You may well have some kind of tear or fissure. You need these looking at and there are creams, etc that can help with the pain.
I am so, so sorry this happened to you. Sending you a big hug.
You did not consent. That is sexual assault. His professed ignorance of biology is no defence. You could report this if you decide to follow through.
Please report. You are likely not the first or only victim. Please also take care of yourself, talk to someone and if you need to hear it, this is not your fault.
Go get a rape kit at a hospital, you might not want to press charges now but the kit will help it you ever decide to get lawful help. Also, collect as much proof as you can, pictures, videos, texts, etc.
Yes, you were raped.
I’m very sorry you experienced this.
I hope you have access to resources to help you navigate this. If you feel comfortable, try to reach out to someone you trust and they can help you as well.
He knew what he had done. The way he didn’t comfort you and asked you to leave is manipulation. He knows you are confused so he wants you to come back later on for “answers” and then he gaslight or wtv and get you hook. Cut contacts and STAY AWAY!! Pls
As a guy we are very aware where our dick is, its literally our most prized possesion. It also feels very different to be in an ass than a vagina. There are cases where you are fucking and you pull out a little to far and are moving a little too fast and it slips in the wrong hole, but you know it right away. Usually ends the session even if she is into anal because it’s something you build up to.
But ladies…..if a guy ever says….oops wrong hole…..he knew what he was doing.
This is 100% rape. If you’re comfortable with reporting, please do so.
Hugs to you sis. Please report this and take care of yourself.
Second comment but just to add. You can revoke consent at any point after consenting. So it doesn’t matter you had already consented, you revoked it the moment you said stop.
He did it on purpose. That’s sexual assault. See a dr. for evidence , take pictures right away and see if you can get him to admit to it via text
There’s no way he didn’t hear you say stop multiple times. Or crying.
Once someone says stop – that’s the end of it. The second they keep going it’s no longer consensual.
Absolutely abusive.
If you ended up bleeding – JFC.
Talk to the police. Seek medical attention. Seek someone to talk to.
Even if you consented to everything, the moment you say STOP and the other person doesn’t, that is rape.
Get a rape kit done. Document everything. Go to the police.
Last but not least, take care of yourself. Get and ask for any help you need.
Call a crisis line and get immediate advice and next steps.
https://endingviolencecanada.org/sexual-assault-centres-crisis-lines-and-support-services
filing a police report and getting a rape kit are your likely next steps.
Edit: forgot to say, yes it is definitely rape. As soon as you say no and he keeps going it fits the definition.
yes you were raped.
get a test done for STD’s and save their contact info for the police.
Please reach out to a professional to help you process this. I’m a social worker but not sure where your located so I can’t make recommendations for counselling. You can report your experience to the police and you don’t have to necessarily press charges (in Ontario anyways). This is up to you. But there is support following a report from Victim services for counselling etc. I’m terms of trying to contact him afterwards. That’s a completely valid response so don’t think what you did was wrong. But please reach out for professional support, it sounds like a sexual assault to me.
This is 110% rape. Get it assessed by healthcare staff while you’re still injured and there’s possibly DNA evidence, it will help your case. He won’t answer because if he responds, it is an admission he did something. If he had a lawyer, they’d tell him not to respond.
This is a rape case for sure.
What a disgusting man. You likely weren’t the first he has done this to. And at the very least, what he did demonstrates a fundamental and dangerous misunderstanding of consent and boundaries.
Block, rape kit, report. He does not deserve any communication, you weren’t given any when it mattered. If you do inform him, immediately block right after. There is nothing he can say to undo his actions or the impact on you, and more likely than not, he will just be acting in self-preservation/attempt to gaslight you.
If you say stop and he doesn’t, it’s rape. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Sorry that happened to you. Report it if you can.
See if there’s a sexual assault centre in your city. Even if you decide not to see police, I really recommend it. They usually have counselling and other programs to help you heal.
He raped you. 100%. I saw you say you haven’t showered, you can go to any local hospital and have a rape kit done. You do NOT need to press charges even if you have a kit done. But however you certainly can/should
Pretty much the defition of rape. He inserted, you told him to stop. End of story. Doesn’t matter if you intiated the sex, the moment you told him to stop, he is supposed to stop. The whole “i didn’t hear you” is idiotic. You’re screaming stop at most 10 inches away from his head, but he can’t hear any of that. Bet if you had whispered something dirty, he would have heard every syllable.
I don’t know what you need to do from here for your own well being but to answer your question, it was definately assault/rape.
This happened to me too. It is rape. You said no and he didn’t stop, that’s rape. You can consent to vaginal sex but decide to not consent to anal sex and that is valid. If he doesn’t respect your choice to not consent to anal sex then that is rape. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you have a support system to lean on. I hope you report this guy for rape, but coming from someone who did not report my rapist I understand if you don’t. Some might not understand but I do. I really hope you have the strength to report it though, and even more, I hope you have the strength to heal from this. You didn’t deserve this. Sending you hugs OP.
you said stop and he didn’t- 100% rape !
I’m so sorry!!!! 😭 Please go talk to someone.
When you said no he should have stopped also that doesn’t happen by mistake
He knew what he was doing
That is a rape!
He is a rapist and he raped you.
I hope you are okay. I hope you get the support you deserve and I hope he is held accountable and I hope you never have to experience anything so horrible again.
As everyone was saying, is yes it was rape. I am sorry.
And go to the doctor, not just to get the injuries documented, but it sounds like you have an anal fissure and they can give you tips on how to treat it and maybe something to help you heal faster.
Regardless if you choose to pursue legally you need medical care NOW.. physical and especially mentally.. I can tell that there are unresolved stuff with your ex and you probably feel that it’s your fault for doing tinder based on way you described it.. absolutely not.. no way no how… this was rape.. period.. please seek medical attention physically and emotionally now.. this will take time to heal on all levels.. legal is your last priority.. look after you and then when stronger go after the shit head
Rape.
You agreed to vaginal sex. Not anal
Sorry, it’s UNREASONABLE for him to say he thought it was your vagina.
You were raped. The minute you said no or stop consent ended anything after is rape. Please go get the documented. You don’t need to submit it to the police but it’s extremely important to have the kit done, they will follow your lead and store it while you think of next steps.
You were raped. Go to the hospital so it can be documented.
Report this to the police. This rape.
The “I didnt know which hole it was ” excuse…… Oh come on all men know this 🤦♂️
OP I’m so sorry. You were assaulted and it’s not okay. Your feelings of violation are valid and your confusion is more than valid. No one expects this from someone they are seeing. There will be no resolution from him, he won’t admit what he did was wrong (evidence) and he won’t further respond to you. If closure is what you are after, you need to report this. If you don’t think that is the route you want to go, please speak to someone – a friend, sister, aunt, mom. You need support.
That’s pretty much the textbook definition of rape. I hope you are alright- take it easy on yourself for a couple days to get your mind together.
Speaking as a guy here, he heard you and definitely raped you, you didn’t agree to anal and his actions now by kicking you out and not talking to you screams predator, if it was a mistake he would be making sure you are ok, don’t let this guy get away with this, he will do the same thing to another girl, and also nothing at all is your fault, I am sorry this happened to you.
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I’m so sorry this happened to you❤️❤️ please reach out to family or friends if you need to. you shouldn’t go through this alone no one should<3
You were most definitely raped……
Consent can be withdrawn.
Sorry that happened to you.