- August 21, 2023
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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Divorced After 24 Years: Seeking a Fair Resolution
Four years ago, I made the difficult decision to end my 24-year marriage with my husband. However, our divorce process was far from smooth sailing. In order to obtain his signature on the divorce papers, I had to make a promise that I would not seek child support for our three children. His reasoning behind this condition was that I had inherited the family home, making it seemingly fair in his eyes.
Additionally, I agreed to take on an overwhelming $40,000 worth of his credit card debt. Unfortunately, despite our agreement, he provides no financial assistance, leaving me solely responsible for paying off his debt. It is frustrating to say the least, especially when I have the necessary documentation ready to pursue support enforcement. I firmly believe that I have a legal obligation to collect child support, considering our children’s needs.
AI Legalese Decoder: Assisting in Achieving Justice
In this unjust situation, the AI Legalese Decoder proves to be an invaluable tool. With AI’s advanced capabilities for understanding complex legal jargon and processes, it can effectively guide individuals like me through the legal steps required to seek support enforcement. By inputting my case details into the AI Legalese Decoder, I can gain a clearer understanding of my rights, possible courses of action, and the necessary documentation needed to build a strong case.
Furthermore, the AI Legalese Decoder can provide me with detailed insights into similar cases, revealing successful strategies employed by others in similar circumstances. Armed with this knowledge, I can approach the legal proceedings with confidence, knowing that I am well-prepared and supported.
Feeling Torn: A Question of Self-Doubt
Despite the clear legal obligations and the unfairness of the situation, I find myself experiencing conflicting emotions. On one hand, I question whether I have been a fool for waiting so long to pursue the child support owed to me and my children. On the other hand, I wonder if my desire to pursue support enforcement is simply heartless.
It is important to recognize that these emotions are valid but should not overshadow the objective truth. The fact is, I have been shouldering the burden of my ex-husband’s financial irresponsibility for far too long. By pushing forward with support enforcement, I am not being cruel or heartless; I am merely seeking what is rightfully owed to secure a stable and healthy future for my children.
The Reality of the Situation
It is disheartening to witness my ex-husband living a comfortable life in a one-bedroom penthouse and frequently indulging in luxurious vacations with his girlfriend. Meanwhile, he complains about not having enough money to support our children. However, it is important to remember that the court, taking into account our respective incomes, assigned child support accordingly. My higher income does not diminish his responsibility as a parent.
With the assistance of the AI Legalese Decoder, I can now confidently pursue the child support owed, ensuring that my children receive the financial support they deserve. This will not only provide them with a more stable and secure life but will also set a precedent for fairness and accountability.
In conclusion, by leveraging the power of AI through the Legalese Decoder, I can navigate the complex legal landscape and assert my rights. Taking on the responsibility of collecting child support is not a sign of being a fool or lacking compassion; it is an act of strength and determination to provide a better future for my children.
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Introduction
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I was in the same situation. Took on all the debt, have sole custody, and he doesn’t participate in the children’s lives at all. He claims he wouldn’t be able to afford CS but he makes almost $7k a month while I live paycheck to paycheck. I don’t have any extra funds at all. All of my time and money go to my kids. I haven’t paid for a professional haircut in over two years. Haven’t gotten my nails done, gone on a vacation, date, nothing. I felt so guilty about filing for CS until I realized he gets every. Single. Night. To himself. He can walk into a store and drop over $1k on gaming stuff, and not even think twice.
If his Child Support adds just enough money to our family funds that I can afford to do my nails once every few months… or pay for a babysitter so I can go see a movie. Then so be it. I’m sure that people will say “CS should only be used for kid expenses” yeah ummm… yes. Goes to the same bank account. All the kids needs are still being paid for, I’m just finally getting to enjoy more of my own paycheck.
If he doesn’t want to exercise his visitation I think I deserve to be able to afford a babysitter once a month to recover from being a mom 24/7 (in addition to being Active Duty and a full time college student). That’s THE LEAST he could do for the woman keeping his children alive.
So, I have CS court Monday.
And, I even offered to settle out of court for $800, would provide clothes and toys for all visits, and pay half of travel. I got called a money hungry whore. So, have fun getting ordered to pay $1.8k a month now.
I understand trust me. Its a manipulative tactic, using your feelings and love for them against you. Let me tell you, you are doing the right thing. Any person who guilt trips a parent for holding them financially accountable for their children has serious issues.
You can feel bad about the specifics of how CS is handled, as there are aspects of it that are unfair depending on jurisdiction.
I have 50% custody of mine and still pay my ex roughly $700 a month, for example.
You should not feel bad about seeking what aid is available to you though. While the current system is fucked, there does need to be something, and if your ex won’t be a father to his kids that he consented to having, then he needs to do his part somehow.
CS is for the kids. File, don’t feel bad.
Yeah I felt bad too, I got knocked up at 19 by a guy who said he had a vasectomy (shocked Pikachu face he didn’t). Took child support 4 years to find him, they set child support up in his state, I couldn’t attend the hearing because it was over 1,000 miles away and had our child and he pays the state minimum of $50/ month when he decides to pay it… keep in mind he’s never met our kid, he also had to use the fact he has 2 other kids, a nephew, a sick brother and a SAHW.
Don’t feel bad for a man who wants to play games, it was your family home you inherited. You took some of his debt that he brought with him. He sounds like a piece of work, he can do anything he wants but being there for his kids sounds out of the question.
I’m dealing with similar guilt and slander from my ex about his financial responsibility to his child. In his eyes I’m just “punishing him for our failed marriage” and he “hates having to pay (me) every month for doing a piss pour job parenting”
I’ve explained countless times that money (cough $500/mo when he sees kiddo maybe once every 2-3 months because he moved 10hrs away to another state) is for his child and honestly the least he could do as an absent parent. But nevertheless he spirals anytime we have to interact.
Stay strong and file for support. If nothing else, put the money into an account so your kids have a down payment for a house or a college fund. Either way, your kids deserve it.
You’re not heartless. He sounds like a dick to ask you to pay his debt off while also asking you to take on 100% of the financial responsibility for the kids. And you got the house. So what…I’m assuming you have the kids. Of course you stay in the house. That makes sense for the kids. Personally, I don’t see how that’s fair, but hey. Kids are expensive. Especially 3 of them, on top of $40,000 of cc debt. Regardless of whether you make more money, it doesn’t matter. Those children are his responsibility as well. That was unfair for him to put that on you. And the courts will work out what he owes you weekly or bi-weekly based on what he makes and what you make. File that shit, and don’t feel bad about it.
Thank you all! I am filing Monday. If he has to move home with his momma it’s on him. He can figure it out like I have to do every time there’s a camp or a sport or a medical bill I wasn’t expecting. He can sell his car, move into a responsibly priced place or sell some plasma. He’s never had to be responsible for anything and that stops now.
Child support isn’t for you. It’s for his and your children. Start thinking of it like that and you’ll have no problem filing for it. Do not wait, get it done asap. If you make enough money to take care of your kids without it great. Still file for it let it add up and give it to your kids when they turn 18. Let them use it to buy a car or pay for school. But that money isn’t for you it’s for your kids. Screw whatever agreement you made. It’s what’s best for your children regardless of yours or his situation.
Let me tell you something my ex-husband left me, with all 4 children. Would come back and forth when he would argue with his mistress. Not help financially or anything. We are both vets…he has even lied to the VA about his marital status. DO NOT be concerned about his welfare. He is a whole grown adult, he will handle business if necessary. I know it’s hard but you have to detach yourself from him emotionally…here for support if you need it. You got this mama!! He WILL continue to manipulate you if you allow it…. Don’t!!
Talking with an attorney is a good idea. In my state if you have a court order, which I do, there’s an agency that does collection for you. If he wants to go to court for full custody or a modification I’ll hire an attorney. I can afford an attorney and I can afford the home the kids will inherit without selling it for a less valuable property. I won’t downgrade their lifestyles or future inheritance to avoid holding him responsible. He’s supposed to have them two nights a week and every other weekend. He has them 48 hours a month instead so he’s in violation of child support and the parenting plan. I hope your situation improves.
We also had a separate property agreement for the house.
Rooting for you girl!! And don’t let him make you feel bad. I’m sure he will try to say some crazy mess when he is served…let him talk!! I just know that money better be in the bank…PERIOD!!!
You kept the family home because it was YOURS in the first place. Why did you agree to pay off his debt? That’s NOT your responsibility, even if you make more or even stayed with him. Would he have paid your debt in this lifetime? HARD NO. Stop feeling bad for people who USE you and manipulate you! It’s time to put your foot down and say no and file for child support at full force. And please stop paying his debt. You have no obligation to. He’s also is NOT poor or struggling if he has a penthouse apartment and has travel money for him and his GF. You feel bad because you don’t want to hurt others but you allow others to hurt you. This is not hurting him – it is his FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY as a PARENT. He’s obligated to help out financially – that’s the bare minimum! If you have full custody of the kids, he still has to pay child support even if you make more. You are not heartless, he is! Putting his wants over his children’s needs and kicking the mother of his children to the curb and treating you like complete trash. Please look outside of the box.
how big is this “penthouse “?
GTFO.
Have a lawyer do some calculations to see if it’s worth it. Remember he will make you spend a lot of money fighting it and they don’t usually tell the truth about their finances or you have to enforce them to compel which costs more money. So be prepared to spend a few thousand just to get it ordered. Even if support is ordered, they often still don’t pay it or will do the bare minimum to avoid getting in trouble. Or jerk you around si you never know what day if the month to expect it. They also like to not pay when they know you’ll be spending more money. Mine stops paying every Christmas and start of school year. Then you’re back in court trying to enforce it. It’s a maddening cycle.
The housing market might be good in your area to sell and get a less expensive home/mortgage. See what the comps are.
They will always say they don’t have the money even if they have a luxurious lifestyle. He also may try to get 50/50 custody just to reduce or eliminate the support. If he got 50/50 and you make more than him then you may have to pay! Hash it out with an attorney skilled in these matters FIRST. It may not be worth it. I’ll never get married again