- April 13, 2024
- Posted by: legaleseblogger
- Category: Related News
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## Lack of Foresight: The Root of the Issue
He only cares about what’s in the moment and lacks foresight. This behavior can lead to missed opportunities, poor decision-making, and a lack of long-term planning. Without the ability to look ahead and anticipate potential outcomes, he may find himself facing unnecessary challenges in the future.
## Exploring the Causes: Lack of Education or Mental Health Issues?
Does this come down to lack of education or mental health issues? It’s important to consider both possibilities when trying to understand his behavior. Lack of education can limit his ability to see the bigger picture and make informed decisions. On the other hand, mental health issues such as impulsivity or inability to focus on long-term goals can also play a significant role.
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****** just grabbed a
Probably both, but what are *you* going to do either way?
Don’t let him pull you into the hole with him.
Holy moly. It comes down to a gambling addiction he is in denial of
Just bf? Not husband or fiancee? Time to leave.
[deleted]
Your boyfriend is an addict.
Without therapy he will always prioritize short term hits of dopamine over your long term goals.
Your next task: “find a man who is not a total disaster”
Leave him while you can.
When I first started living on my own I moved into an apartment and down the hall was a very sweet family. The more I got to know them the less sweet their situation was.
They lost their house, were in massive debt, and the father asked me a couple times about borrowing money (never gave him any).
Turns out he had hid his gambling addiction and by the time the wife found out, it was too late. They had three kids in a nice house and now had a two bedroom not-so-great apartment. She had known about his gambling before marriage but she made him put a stop to it – or so she thought of course.
You bf losing $100k is a huge red flag – sure he might stop, but I’d say it’s really unlikely. I’d leave him and never look back. Some things you can work around, but finance smarts are crucial for being able to enjoy life without stress. Don’t need to make a ton of money, but just knowing how to save, budget, and manage finances. Losing $100k to gambling isn’t something I could look past personally.
Break up with this idiot. It will not get better, like never ever.
Irresponsibility doesn’t have to be a mental illness.
Where did he get the money
I mean, adhd comes with messed up brain reward things but most adhd people probably don’t become gambling addicts. It’s not an excuse for doing crimes or blowing 100k.
Certainly addiction is in play. Where did he get $100k to loose? He definitely should be getting treatment for any underlying health issues as well as gambling addiction.
Does it really matter what the underlying cause is? RUN!
Let’s imagine for a moment this is a mental illness, and he truly cannot control or understand his own behavior at all, and that the poor adult man who managed to posses 100K at some point this year was just never *educated* on the fact he needs to pay his taxes or even on the basic arithmetic to add up his yearly losses. No one told him. He was not capable of understanding what he was told.
Let’s pretend he truly, couldn’t have possibly done better than this. His brain wouldn’t allow it. That he is completely a victim on his own undiagnoised and unmanaged issues, that someone else should have stepped in and saved him (his mom probably, it’s usually the mom right?) and he’s not just your standard active addict asshat, who thinks consequences are for other people.
Does that make this a safe or enjoyable partnership for you to continue?
FYI I was really into the show intervention when it was on. They showed all kinds of addicts: heroine, meth, air duster huffing, alcoholics, sex addicts, etc…
By far the most fucked up people I ever saw on that show were gambling addicts.
You would probably be better off with any random crackhead than a gambling addict.
People who try to find an explanation/rationalize their partner’s negative behaviours are usually delusional and too afraid to leave (been there!)
Stop playing a therapist and move on with your life. Who cares why he is acting the way he does. It’s his baggage and it’s for him to deal with it. Your partner gambles away 100K. Do you want to deal with this for the rest of your life?
I can tell you from personal experience. Does he use alcohol or drugs excessively when he gambles or after a big win/loss? Is he constantly lying about needing money for a short period of time until his money comes in? Is he very angry when you refuse to lend/give him money and he starts throwing wrongs he thinks you may have done in your face? If you answered yes to any of these be concerned. 2 out of 3 and he is most likely an addict but still in denial. 3 out of 3 he is an addict; knows it but doesnt believe it will ever get better so he has to lie to himself and others to create a delusional reality so he doesnt do something rash or impulsive tp hurt himself. My suggestion is to tell him he is not the first person to struggle with this problem and it can get better. BUT he has to want to stop and if he doesn’t be clear that you need to leave and cannot enable him. If you love him still tell him this is not about falling out of love; this is about watching someone you.love destroy themselves and you cant do that. Good luck.
ADHD can be linked to higher rates of addiction but the amount of shit people are blaming on having ADHD is so wild these days. This is an addiction issue that needs to be dealt with as such, that’s why he’s ignoring the facts that he himself knows.
Casino dealer here for the past 15 years , now acting pit. I can tell you anything you want to know . First of all, you only hear about the winnings. Second , gambling is a very dangerous game to play . Only very few ever actually profit , and due to online gambling its easier now than every. You can ban yourself , but what’s the point? Theirs a million other gambling apps. I strongly urge you guys to : Actually see what he is down vs up , and seek a counselor. Unless you guys are very wealthy , theirs only 3 outcomes : Divorce , suicide, or actually being honest and seeking help .
IF YOU GUYS ARE NOT MARRIED I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO CONSIDER LEAVING. THIS.WILL.NOT.END.HERE.
Sounds like either stupidity coupled with compulsive behavior or he’s just delusional. ADHD does not necessarily have anything to do with this. If anything he should be able to keep records and know for sure whether he’s making profit or losing money. The people I know with ADHD in adulthood are very detail oriented and meticulous. More so than me lol.
It’s addiction.
It’s called a gambling addiction
That’s called an addiction, gambling is as addictive as anything else. If you’re going to stay with him get him some help
Your line of questioning doesn’t make sense to me. Who cares what the reason is, what matters is the result and the effect it’s having on his and your life. He either recognizes he has a problem (no matter the cause) and gets help for it, or he doesn’t. And then you need to decide whether this is a dealbreaker for you or not and it sounds like it is, but you’re just trying to rationalize his behavior and thus in turn your own behavior.
In short you’re asking the wrong question. You should instead be asking yourself: if my boyfriend doesn’t recognize that he needs help for his gambling addiction / mismanagement of money, what will I do?
[deleted]
Whatever he has , that’s going to affect whatever relation you have with him in the future. Think long and hard about how you want your future life to be.
Run far away before he brings you down with him
If he’s got ADHD that’s definitely a contributing factor here. Impulsivity plus dopamine seeking makes things like this difficult to stay away from.
If he’s not on medication, I’d suggest he gets on medication as this will help, but he should also get some counselling to help curb this behaviour before it financially destroys him (and potentially you).
and lack of foresight on your part if you stick around with this guy..
Has he been hit in the head a few times?
Run while you can
Impulsive behaviour and addiction is a part of ADHD, yes. He should be seeing a medical professional and probably a counsellor since this is destructive behaviour. If he doesn’t do that I don’t think it improves on its own
For a lot of people being addicted to gambling, it’s not about the money. It’s not about winning or losing. Money is just a way for them to chase the rush, that high from of gambling. Same as any other addiction to drugs, food, shopping, etc. The problem with addiction is to feed that high you need to up the stakes bet more, shoot up more, eat more, buy more,etc to get that same rush because your body adapts and getting the rush is less frequent. Google the signs of gambling addiction. If he has it, seek professional help.
Run. Run fast, run far.
$ is the number one reason people break up. Act now. Keep your money clear
This has been repeated many times already but just cut your losses now. Gambling addiction is a really serious and destructive habit, people can take years and a lot of money lost before they bottom out. Why it’s happening is complex and often different for each person but it ultimately doesn’t matter.
You don’t have a financial problem, you have a relationship problem. Leave before his habit harms you, its just a matter of time.
It sounds like a clear case of addiction. Gambling addiction is very common in modern society. Sounds like he needs some kind of intervention/reality check, as well as professional help
It’s got nothing to do with ADHD (or his claim of ADHD). It’s difficult for humans to admit to failure, this is a common cognitive bias of all humans because we like to avoid psychological pain and cognitive dissonance. We “count the hits and ignore the misses” as the saying goes.
100k holy fuck. He will never learn
Just leave please. It’s not worth it. You can’t baby a grown ass man who clearly doesn’t want help. You got one life to live so go live for you.